Thursday, May 05, 2016


Hello readers, 

This post is quite sensitive because I will be writing about the effects of rape on women. 

Please bear in mind that anytime I mention the word “women”, I’m actually referring to both young girls and mature ladies.

Last week, I was discussing with a group of guys about the issue of rape and one of them said he heard from an undisclosed source that “women actually enjoy being raped”. 

Immediately he said those words, I became furious and we had a heated argument. 

I was furious because he made a sensitive topic like rape seem very light. I was annoyed because he was unknowingly promoting the horrible act. 

Seriously, if he had said this to some ignorant people who embraced his point of view, they could easily spread the word around. 

I strongly disagree with his comment and I want to use this medium to inform people of what rape truly is. 

First of all, let’s look at the definition of rape. 

According to Oxford dictionaries, rape is “the crime, typically committed by a man, of forcing another person to have s*xual intercourse with the offender against their will.” 

From this definition, one can deduce three facts: first, rape is a crime. 

Secondly, rape is typically committed by a man. 

Thirdly, rape is forcing another person to have s*x with an offender without their consent.

It is clear that rape is an abominable act which should not be encouraged and I don’t understand why anyone will think of rape as an act that “women actually enjoy”. 

It is so not acceptable to think or say such things. If any of your sisters get raped, will you say the same thing? I don’t think so! 

I’m sure if anyone rapes your relation and you catch him, you will literally cut off his private part.

As far as you are not present at the incident of the rape, you shouldn’t assume that the act is mutually enjoyable. 

Maybe rapists enjoy the act but their victims don’t! You don’t know anything about a rape victim’s experience until you have been raped.

Personally, I’ve had two different incidents where a man tried to rape me. 

I’m not joking! Even though they weren’t successful because I fought them with all the strength in my body, I can never forget those incidents. 

In my ignorance, I took these men as friends and I was na├»ve enough to pay them visits alone. 

Of course, my mind was far away from s*x when I decided to visit them but they, on the other hand, had planned an exciting event for themselves.

In essence, what I’m trying to say is that although I’ve never been raped, I’ve come close to understanding what rape victims go through. 

First, they have to struggle with men who want to achieve their evil goals by all means. 

Secondly, they are forcefully penetrated against their will. 

Thirdly, they become filled with fear and shame afterwards. 

Fourthly, some of them find it difficult to associate with other men in the future. 

A few of them might even lose their lives during rape or afterwards by suicidal means because they simply can’t live with the memories of the incident. 

Other victims are at risk of getting pregnant or contracting STDs through rape. 

How can anyone say rape is enjoyable to the victim when it isn’t a mutual act? The fact remains that it is not acceptable in our society or anywhere else.

I watched a movie titled “For coloured Girls” with a friend of mine and at the end of the move, she asked me “why was the rape victim traumatised”? 

At first, I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say to her. When I regained my voice, I told her that “even though the offender was her newly acquired boyfriend, she wasn’t ready to sleep with him”. 

He forced himself on her without her consent and she was traumatised afterwards. 

She was beginning to trust him before he committed the act and after he raped her, she was in shock for a long time.

Rape affects women physically, emotionally, mentally, socially and even spiritually.

It is not just the temporal physical pain or torture that matters; the horrifying mental pictures left behind by rapists and the disgusting feeling of being violated also matter. 

The trauma that comes with rape is indescribable. Rape is not an issue to be treated lightly; it is horrific, dehumanising and traumatising. 

As long as there is no foreplay during or before the rape and women don’t reach org~sm during it, the act shouldn’t be referred to as a pleasurable act! 


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