Sunday, 26 June 2016

I WAS LOST BUT I’VE FOUND MYSELF



In my last post, I wrote about my experience with depression and how I overcame it. I used to be in a place where I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted or even what made me happy. I just followed the crowd and did whatever I saw others doing.

Sunday, 19 June 2016

WHAT TYPE OF FATHER ARE YOU?



A father is one of the most important people in a family. In every African family, the father is usually seen as the head, breadwinner, leader, director, mentor, protector, and disciplinarian. He is in charge of his family; he provides for them and also protects them. 

Saturday, 18 June 2016

I Wish I Had A Gay Best Friend




I am that type of girl who is open minded and free with everyone. I try not to take life too seriously and I’m not so obsessed with money. 

I just love being happy in everything I do and it doesn’t really matter if people approve of it or not.

I believe someone will always have an opposing thought or view about the way I should live my life; I guess we all have our individual lives to live. 

Do you want to hear a secret? I know you do *smiles shyly*

Some days, I secretly wish I had a gay best friend! I’m serious! Hope you aren’t surprised? 

Well, don’t be! I earlier told you that I’m a free spirited human being and so the things I do shouldn’t surprise you. 

I’m sure you’re asking why I would even harbour such weird thoughts of having a gay bestie. 

Um, the simplest answer is “I want a friend who is not a girl and who is not my boyfriend or aspires to be my boyfriend.”

Sometimes, I search for someone neutral to talk to; someone who won’t be envious of me or biased in judgement. 

I seek the company of someone who won’t pester me for s*x; someone who would be okay with being just friends. 

During my long search for that s*xless guy, I discovered that the term “just friends” never works with a guy unless he is gay or he has a serious girlfriend he is committed to. 

Even when rules are laid out at the onset of the friendship, halfway through the guy starts harbouring fantasies of taking you to bed when you’re seeing him as “a non-s*xual being”.

For you, all you really need from him is quality time and interesting discussions on various topics but unknown to you, he has already pictured you beneath him a long time ago. 

This is the usual routine for straight guys; of course, it is not their fault, they were wired that way. 

No matter how friendly or responsible they seem at first, they are already hoping or planning to take you to bed. 

Are you still asking why I need a gay friend? I have a lot of reasons but I will name only a bunch:



1). I need someone neutral to talk to: 

It’s not like I’m friendless or lonely. It’s just that most guy friends I have, always want more than what I’m willing to offer them. 

So, I just need someone who likes being with me, who likes talking to me and who doesn’t secretly hope to take me to bed. 

In the absence of a boyfriend, I need a man I can cuddle on lonely nights when I'm having a bad day without worrying about s*x.

2). I need someone who isn’t biased or judgemental: 

I need an honest and unbiased friend; someone who isn’t scared to tell me how things really are because he isn’t trying to get into my good book.

I need someone who is just himself; someone who will not try to impress me at every turn. 

3). I need someone who isn’t envious of me or my boyfriend:

Most straight guys who happen to be my friends tend to be envious of my boyfriend. They wish they were him and to me, that is so wrong. 

We all have different roles to play in other people’s lives. I need someone who is in my life and isn't envious of me or my love life.

4). I need someone who isn’t constantly in a competition with me:

Most girls I meet tend to have this overwhelming competitive energy that keeps me exhausted. I don’t like dragging anything with anyone. 

I just believe that what’s mine would surely get to me. I need someone who is contented with what he has.

5). I need someone who isn’t interested in sleeping with me:

I love talking to guys a lot but one of the recurring challenges I face is their constant request for s*x. 

My response to them would always be “Must you sleep with every friend you keep?” Of course, they just look at me like “Where did this one fall from?” 

6). I need someone whom my boyfriend isn’t jealous of:

There are occasions where I have really good friends who I talk to but my bf doesn’t feel comfortable with the arrangement simply because the guys are straight. 

I guess he just feels insecure about them and he is a guy so he just knows. I’m sure if they were all gay, he would feel more secure.


A gay friend is what I really need right now; someone who wouldn't entertain thoughts of ravishing me or sleeping with me. 

I'm looking for someone to talk to, go shopping, visit the hair salon, plan events and do fun things with without being worried about hurting him emotionally. 

If you’re gay and you want to be my friend, apply via my email momentswithjenny@gmail.com or just drop a comment below. I look forward to hearing from you! *kisses*

#EveryGirlNeedsAGayFriend#







Tuesday, 14 June 2016

7 Obvious Reasons Why Men Sulk Like Babies





The word “sulking” is often associated with children and women. Men are never seen as sulkers. 

They appear as strong, macho and mature persons. They have the flawless ability to conceal their emotions even when in pain.

Women and children, on the other hand, are often seen as expressive creatures; they easily find avenues to express their grievances. 

They don’t see anything wrong with sulking, crying or wailing at the slightest provocation even in public. 

Sometimes, it may seem as if women enjoy shedding tears; maybe it makes them feel more feminine or maybe it makes their pupils whiter *smiles* (I’m just kidding). 

But the whole point is that women, especially in Africa, are often portrayed as emotional beings while the men are seen as unemotional beings. 


It is perfectly normal to see a woman cry but when one sees a man shedding tears; it sends a message across that this man was so hurt that he had to show it openly. 

Even in awful situations, crying is usually the last resort for a man; he would prefer to grieve silently just to show how strong or mature he is.

Seeing a mature man cry could be one of rarest sights but being around a sulking man could be devastating; you don’t just know what to do with him. 

Would it be easier to just leave him alone in his tranquility or would it be wise to try to talk him out of his sulkiness? 

Well, before you attempt to answer that, let’s define the word “sulking”.

WHAT EXACTLY DOES SULKING MEAN?

According to the Cambridge Online dictionaries, “sulking” means to be silent and refuse to smile or be pleasant to people because you are angry about something that they have done. 

It simply means being displeased by something and letting your gloomy mood show; you become grumpy, aloof, silent and unsociable because of what someone has done or hasn’t done. 

You practically ignore everyone around you as if they don’t even exist. Even when you’re greeted, you just reply with grumpy one-word answers.

Did you think only women were sulky or moody? I also used to think that only women and children sulked but recently I’ve come across mature men who sulk too. Even my boyfriend sulks occasionally when he is really offended.





WHY DO MEN SULK?

Are you wondering why your boo has suddenly turned silent and distant? Do you think it is you or maybe stress from work that has got him so moody? Keep scrolling...

1. A man could sulk because you turned down his offer to go out with him either on a date or a casual outing. Men don’t like being turned down especially by women; it sort of hurts their ego.

2. A man could sulk because you rejected his proposal; whether it’s marriage or any other kind of proposal. Men don’t take rejection lightly.

3. A man might sulk if you refuse him from having s£x with you. You know how guys could be; they would be all smiles while chasing you and spending money. 

But the minute you say “I’m not going to sleep with you’’ and you actually carry out the threat, their demeanour would automatically change towards you. 

You, on the other hand, would be saying “Is it just because of s£x you’re frowning your face like that?” He is not finding it funny at all! A man could feel really hurt when his s€xual advances are not happily received.

4. Some men sulk when a lady nags or screams at them over an issue; no matter how little. 

They often want to be the superior one in a relationship and when a lady crosses “the respect boundary” and reprimands them, they could become moody and start sulking like children.

5. A man could sulk when he experiences heartbreak. When a man loves, he puts his entire heart into it and when his love becomes crushed, his soul also gets crushed.

6. Men sometimes sulk when they are undergoing pressure from work or their family. 

Sometimes, when the pressure gets too much for them to bear and they don’t know what to do about it, they simply sulk. Sulking could be an escape route for some men.

7. Some men sulk when they are financially insecure or unemployed. A man feels in charge when his finances are intact; he feels very secure when he can financially provide for his loved ones. 

But when he is unemployed or financially unstable, he feels helpless; and this could lead to sulking.

There you have it! Men sulk too and for diverse reasons. So, next time you see your man all moody and grumpy, don’t get all defensive and don’t let him be either. 

He may claim he needs some time and space to clear his head but what he actually needs is YOU. 

He misses you and wants to talk but he doesn’t want to make the first move. Because he can’t have you all to himself, he goes into “sulking mood”.

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A SULKING MAN?

The first thing you should not do when your man is sulking is leaving him alone. Don’t even think about it! Leaving him alone could worsen his moodiness. 

The best thing to do is to approach him gently. If you know his love language, employ it. 

His love language could be spending quality time with you, receiving gifts or compliments or even physical touch. 

Whatever it is you know could help him brighten up, just do it. It is not only women who need tender loving care; guys crave it too.

Before you even try to engage him in a conversation, first prepare a warm bath to help him relax. 

Next, cook his favourite meal for him and after he is settled, talk with him; gently of course! 

Don’t go barging in with a wrapper tied around your waist and a pestle in hand like you’re ready for taekwondo; force isn’t the best remedy in this situation.

Just try and be the mother and wife/girlfriend you are to him! Be gentle, feminine and caring at the same time. 


Listen to him and help him come out of his hiding place. If you don’t have the patience for all of this, please try and borrow some! You will surely need it.

Has your man been sulking lately and you’re confused about what to do? Simply read this post and apply the solutions given. Hope it works for you like it did for me! 
                                                                                             



Friday, 3 June 2016

BEING THE FIRST CHILD IN AN AFRICAN HOME...



In every African home, being the first child comes with great responsibility. It means you have to start preparing to shoulder all the responsibilities in the home. It involves being accountable and responsible at all times.

From the moment you become a teenager, the word “responsibility and leader become your second names. You are expected to be responsible for everything that happens to your siblings and the home in general even in your absence. 

Thursday, 2 June 2016

IS THIS KARMA OR JUST FATE (Part two)


While Franklin was still thinking of the best way to sort out the mess between him and his friend, Stanley grabbed his phone from the bed and stormed out. He came back that evening drunk and reeking of alcohol. 

Franklin was watching TV when he heard the rumbling in the room and knew his friend was back. He went to him hoping to apologise and patch things up. “I’m sorry bro, I had no idea she was the one you mentioned earlier. I didn’t purposely chase after her knowing she was the one you wanted. But the truth is that I love her very much”.