Sunday, July 17, 2016

THE 5 SERIAL KILLERS OF A RELATIONSHIP




Sometime ago, I wrote on 9 reasons why communication is essential in every relationship. If you haven’t read it, click HERE. This post is like an antidote for relationship problems that are related to communication.

Every relationship faces challenges every now and then. These challenges are often associated with communication; it could be the awful things we said or the soothing words we refused to say. 

Often times, the things we fight about may not even be the immediate causes of the fight; most quarrels begin a long time inside our minds before we spill out our guts. 

Monday, July 11, 2016

WOMEN ARE HUNTRESSES... YOU ARE THEIR PREY




My last post about the hunting tactics of men got a lot of attention and some courageous people commented on the post while others preferred to contact me behind the scenes. 

Their argument was that nowadays women too engage in hunting to get men; it’s not only a man’s thing. So I’m writing this post as a sort of reply to my former post “MEN ARE HUNTERS... YOU ARE THE MEAT.”

We are all aware that men do most of the hunting and chasing but women are involved in the chase too. There are different categories of female hunters with their own personal objectives. 

There are die-hard huntresses, desperate huntresses, manipulative huntresses, cunning huntresses, deceptive huntresses and much more.


They have tactics they use to hunt their preys which are mostly men whether single or married. 

These women hunt for diverse reasons; some hunt out of revenge while others hunt out of need or just as a hobby. 

They hunt down men with all their manipulations and tactics and after drilling holes into a man's pockets and bank accounts, they dump him and move onto the next one.


WHAT ARE THEIR HUNTING TOOLS?

The tools they use depend on the category of huntresses and their objectives for a particular hunt. Each objective may change slightly according to the prey they are hunting or their need but the major tools used are:


1. Provocative dressing:

Women know men get turned on by what they see; the easiest way of getting them is by dressing to kill. All those bum shorts, miniskirts and skimpy gowns she flaunts are not for nothing. She knows what she is doing; driving you crazy.

2. S*x:

We all know the two things men can’t resist are good food and great s*x. If she isn’t the cooking type, she uses s*x as a way to get you to do all her demands. 

No wonder you can’t explain why you promise so much in bed and after the show is over you ask yourself if you were stupid for agreeing to buy her a 2 million naira house when you live in a flat. Well, at least you gained something for your lost money.




3. Innocent looks:

You know those pretty glances, the wide smiles and soft giggles she gives you when you come around? They are meant to work some magic on you. 

She keeps her face like an innocent dove just to get to you and when she does, you won’t know when your ATM card gets into her hand.

4. Beauty:

Some women know they are beautiful and they use it to get what they want. Do you think she didn’t know what she was doing when she fixed that long luscious human hair that makes you go gaga? 

Did you think she accidentally fell into a bowl of red lipstick to get that perfect pout? Or you thought she mistakenly wore that hot dress when she knew you would be passing by? I didn’t think so either!

5. Money:

Some huntresses have money but they need something else from you. This “something” could be emotional security, great s*x or protection. 

So they use their money to get whatever they need. Most times their prey is someone who isn’t very well to do. Don’t be surprised if a rich lady is chasing you, she needs something vital that you have.*winks*

6. Sweet lies:

Do I really need to elaborate on this point? Well, some huntresses use sweet lies to deceive men into doing a lot of things for them. They could cook up all sort of black and white lies just to extract money from your pocket. Men tell lies a lot too, though.

7. Blackmail:

Some women use blackmail to get their prey to do whatever they want. This hunting tool is mostly used on married men who are cheating on their wives. 

They threaten their prey to do what they want or they would inform their wives about their affair. It works every time.

8. Friendship:

This one is really tricky. There are huntresses who use friendship as an excuse to get to you. They may not really want a relationship with you but they know that if they offer you friendship, you won’t suspect them. 

While you’re busy basking in your friendship world, they would corner you, and the next thing you see is a stark naked lady in front of you begging for your magic touch.

9. Seduction:

I bet you know how this one works. All those wide grins, warm kisses on your cheeks, soft caresses all over your body, teasing bites on your ear, exposed cleavages and lap dances are all ways of seducing a man. They use all that to confuse you into doing what they want.





WHERE DO THEY HUNT?

They hunt everywhere huntable; as far as they are equipped with their hunting tools and there is available prey, they move in for a hunt. 

They could either hunt individually or in packs. They hunt in shopping malls, cinemas, schools, offices, beer parlours, hotels, clubs, strip houses, on the streets and even churches.

They usually know the hottest joints, the happening guys and where to locate them. Because they have been in the hunting game for a while, they have binoculars, telescopes and scanners that help them zoom into a man’s pockets to know whether he is loaded or not. 

In fact, some huntresses even perceive money from afar; I don't know how they do it. 

They automatically know when you're broke or not. Even if you’re not rich but you’re heavily endowed, they know how to find out your size so don’t be surprised if you’re not wealthy and some girls are chasing you round the clock. You have something they need, boy!


WHAT’S YOUR ROLE IN THE GAME?

Well, it all depends on you, bro! You need to ask yourself vital questions when a lady is so hot for you. Do you know what she wants from you? 

Are you willing to give it to her for something in return? Do you like her too?  If your answer is no then I’d advise you to run like Jezebel is chasing you. But if you answered “YES” then I think you need to play her game too.

Pretend as if you don’t know what’s happening and shut her out. If she comes back, it means she really wants you or your money. 

If you feel you have some spare cash to spend while having fun, then go for it but if you notice she’s being evasive with her time or body after a long time of spending, stop spending your hard earned coins; she’s just a pocket driller. When she has sapped you dry, she'll move on to the next one.

Don’t worry about getting even with her, Karma will get her soon. On the other hand, if she is just looking for love or s*x and you really don’t want her but she persists, sit her down and tell her you are either not attracted to her or you are in a serious relationship.

Life is a game and a lot of people just like playing even if they are not sure of winning. Your role is to watch out and be alert. 

If you need your own set of binoculars or scanners, please get some in case you need to protect yourself from pocket drillers.



Sunday, July 10, 2016

ARE YOU A NEW GENERATION MOM?



I wrote two posts about men recently and a male friend of mine was hurt. He said I was being anti-men but all I was doing was advising my fellow ladies who may have forgotten how special they are. 

So, I guess I’ll be writing about women today not just because he said so but because I feel like it.

Today’s mothers can be described as “New Generation Mothers”. New generation mothers don’t really know what it takes to be a mother and a wife. They are too busy wearing designer shoes and carrying branded handbags. 

Saturday, July 09, 2016

MEN ARE HUNTERS... YOU ARE THE MEAT!




Why do men chase women relentlessly? Why do they constantly pursue a lady till she gives in? Why would they do whatever it takes to make a lady theirs? It’s pretty simple... Men are hunters! 

They love hunting; they were created to hunt. Hunting keeps their adrenaline pumping and they feel alive when they hunt. It’s like a part of them; they enjoy it immensely.

So, if men are hunters, who then are the meat or prey? It’s the ladies, of course. You see a man sees a ladas meat; something enticing and totally edible. He knows having you will bring fulfilment to him, so he starts hunting you.

Are you guessing what his hunting tools are? We know usual hunting tools are bows, arrows, rifles, traps, catapults etc. But in this case, a man’s hunting tools would be money, sweet words, good looks, bedroom skills and material things such as expensive cars or houses. 

A man will tell you he loves you, he will fetch the moon and stars for you, he will take care of you and your family, he will never hurt you, blah, blah, blah. What he is really doing is testing you to see if you’re different. 

If you aren’t, he’ll just use you, dump you and move on to another hunt. That’s how it works girl! So you have to step up your game!


WHY DOES HE NEED TO HUNT ANYWAY?


Well, hunting doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have some leftover dried meat. 

Hunting for him simply means he has gotten bored of eating the same dried meat in his possession and he just wants to have another type of meat to eat. 

You know he sort of needs fresh meat; with some blood and veins, so he hunts. He needs to constantly feed the undying hunger inside him and the only thing he eats is meat. I hope you understand now? 

Sometimes, he needs to hunt because he is lonely and needs an emotional attachment to add a spark to his life.




WHAT’S YOUR ROLE IN THIS HUNTING GAME?


You are a lady, do what you know how to do best; play his game but don’t let him win until he has proven his worth to you. Yes, honey! You have to test him to know what kind of hunter he is and what his hunting intentions are. 

There are different types of hunters out there just as there are different types of meat. 

There are lazy hunters, strong hunters, worthy hunters, unworthy hunters, grateful and ungrateful hunters. 

We also have hunters who are keepers; they are contented with a particular type of meat and they don’t mind eating it for the rest of their lives.

Your role in this hunting game is to test him till he reveals his inner character. Your job is to look into the person and see what is on the inside of him. You don’t need magic or voodoo to do that; all you need are your instincts and patience.

You know he will be at his best when he is with you; he wouldn’t want you to see his flaws or his bad character.  Test his patience, his anger levels, his character by finding answers to these questions:


1. How does he treat other people?

2. How does he react when you make him angry?

3. How does he react when you are moody or angry?

4. How does he react when you show up at his place uninvited?

5. How does he react when you push him physically, mentally and emotionally?

6. How does he react when you shut down emotionally and give him the silent treatment?

7. How does he react in embarrassing moments?

8. What does he do when he sees you with another man?

9. How does he react when you fail to do something he asked you to do?

10.How is his relationship with God and his family?

11. If he says he loves you, how has he proved it to you?

These are the necessary questions you need to ask in order to assess a man and know his true character. 

Many ladies of this generation never have the time or energy to assess a man before entering into a relationship with him; they are too tired to play hard to get and so they make the game boring and easy for the hunters. 

Their prerequisite for a man is how expensive his car is or what designers he wears and how much money he has. So they end up in abusive and violent relationships.


Let me tell you something...


A man is not the type of car he drives or the quality of shirts he wears.
A man is not the amount of money in his bank account or the assets he has.
A man is not the kind of job he has or the kind of house he lives in.
A man is not the perfume he wears or the jewellery he puts on.

A real man is hard to find these days; you need to look on the inside and not just the outward appearance of a man. Place a high value on you, girl. Be priceless. Have some self-worth and dignity.

Learn to be independent and self-sufficient. Don’t let a hunter conquer so easily; he won’t respect or value you. He won’t see you as a life partner but just a game he won. 

Because when he sees another interesting game, you’ll become second hand or even third hand. He’ll just move on and you’ll be left dazed and helpless. Let him prove himself to you! 

The decision of whom to spend the rest of your life with is too important to be based on material things. Focus on the right things; set your priorities right! 

#BeaSmartLady#



Wednesday, July 06, 2016

HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY MR & MRS AGBO WHITE



I would have done this a few days ago but I was stalled by technical issues. This is not a wedding feature or online advert; it is actually a wedding anniversary.


I PRESENT TO YOU THE BEAUTIFUL COUPLE


      

Mrs Agbo Annie-White was born on the 11th of February. She is an indigene of Benue state. She studied theatre arts at Benue State University (BSU). 
She enjoys reading widely, researching and surfing the internet. She is very funny, friendly and ch arming but don’t get on her nerves though *winks*

 

Mr Agbo-White was born on the 8th of April. He is also an indigene of Benue state. He studied Accounting at BSU. His hobbies include reading, dancing and sporting. 
Hmmm, I now understand the chemistry between the two of them. A woman can never resist a man who loves and knows how to dance. He is outgoing and fun to be with.

HOW DID THEY MEET?



They met in front of their school gate. You remember they went to the same school right? 
Miss Annie was chatting away with a friend oblivious to the admiring eyes of a young man who happened to know her friend. 
When he summoned up the courage to walk up to them, they got introduced and right there a spark lit up. 
He couldn’t let her be since that day; he kept on chasing and chasing until she agreed to be his girlfriend (covers face shyly).


HOW DID HE PROPOSE?



One lovely evening, Prince charming invited her over to a hotel to have some drinks. Unknown to her, he had already bought a cake and inscribed the words “Be My Wife” on it. 
When she got to the venue, she saw the cake and he immediately went down on one knee and proposed. OH MY GOD!!! It was very romantic. 
She was all mushy and emotional but of course she said “yes” and here they are today, it’s been two years already.


WHEN DID THEY GET MARRIED?

              

They got married on the 28th of June 2014 at Shelter of Glory Church in Makurdi. The reception took place at AIK outdoor also in Makurdi. The colours of the day were yellow, silver and green. It was an elegant and quiet wedding which comprised of family members and friends from all over the country.


HOW HAS MARRIED LIFE BEEN?



The couple say " married life has been great because we've put a lot of work into it. Like every other thing in this life, marriage requires effort. To succeed, you must rely completely and comply with the guidelines of the Almighty Institutor."


THE COUPLE’S ADVICE TO ALL THE SINGLES OUT THERE 

                                                                      

"To all the singles, lean not on your own understanding. Do not be in a haste and don't be pressured into marrying someone you don't love. 

Get ready to learn, unlearn and relearn everyday. Read books on relationship and marriage like you are preparing for final exams." 

Happy 2nd Anniversary to you! May God continue to give you both wisdom, understanding and patience to remain together forever.

Tuesday, July 05, 2016

8 REAL REASONS WHY MEN CHASE WOMEN





I’ve heard a lot of girls and even women say “all men are the same” because of nasty experiences they have had over the years in relationships with men. 

These nasty experiences could have been in the form of men cheating on them or breaking their hearts when they had pictured their lives forever with them. 

This results in the women becoming cold and distant to men; although they are merely protecting themselves, some women overdo it. 

They just cover their hearts with different layers of armour, refusing to open up even when they meet “the one”. 

They are scared of falling back where they had struggled to come out of.

I used to be in that group of women who said the same thing but recently I’ve come across good men who have changed my line of thought. 

Because of them, I think otherwise; I see people and life in general in a very different way.

I used to think that all men come after a lady just for s*x and nothing more. I never believed a man would chase after a girl for any other reason than s*x. 

Anytime a man walked up to me to strike a conversation, I’ll just say to myself “I already know what he wants from me so I won’t even listen to all the crap he is saying.” 

So, I shunned a lot of men because I made wrong assumptions about them and their intentions. I closed the door in their faces without even giving them any chance to prove their worth. 

I just assumed they were all cunning and deceitful creatures who chased after women for only one thing.

I was simply doing what every girl would do; protect her fragile heart. Recently, I came to a realisation that all men aren’t the same. 

Men are different; they come in different colours and sizes, they have different tastes and fashion sense, they have different interests, they have different occupations, even their wooing styles are different. 

They also have different temperaments and I.Q levels. Even men who are twins can never be the same; there must be a difference no matter how little.

Men approach women with different intentions; they chase after women for diverse reasons. 

I’m going to mention the few reasons I’ve been able to observe and gather from my relationships with men.





1. FOR FRIENDSHIP:

Some men approach ladies simply for friendship. Even if they have other plans, they don’t say it until the lady feels comfortable around them. 

They don’t approach a lady and put s*x as the first event on the agenda. 

This group of men chase certain women because they seek friendship. They need someone to talk to; someone to share their successes and failures with, someone to explore crazy and absurd dreams with.

They would prefer a lady spending time with them talking and laughing than an occasional one night stand or casual fling.

2. FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP:

Some men chase ladies because they have an empty space in their hearts to fill. So when they meet someone who fits their taste, they go for it without hesitation. 

They usually offer friendship and as the relationship progresses, they could move to a higher level of commitment. 

These categories of men prefer sleeping with women who they are emotionally attached to instead of having regular flings. 

All they want is emotional stability and they don’t mind chasing a woman for years to get that.

3. FOR S*X:

I have to admit that there are guys who live just for s*x. They don’t mind sleeping with a 16-year-old as far she has nipples sprouting out on her chest. 

When they approach a lady, their body language alone tells you everything you need to know. 

From the glint in their eyes to the wide grin on their faces and from the slide of their tongues over their lower lips to their inability to keep their hands to themselves show what they are really coming after. 

Most times when you give in to their flirtations, they would take what they want from you and move on to the next available chick. 

They don’t believe in love or being in a steady and committed relationship with one lady.

4. FOR FINANCIAL GAIN:

Some men attach themselves to certain women because they hope to gain financially from her. 

Sometimes, these women are aware of their intentions but often times, they are oblivious to their intentions. 

They assume the man loves them for who they are and not their money. 

The women end up catering for the man’s needs and paying all his bills in the name of love. 

In some cases, these men keep other women to attend to their s*xual and emotional needs while they benefit from the financially buoyant women. 

Usually, they would collect money from these rich women and spend it on their real girlfriends.

5. FOR ADVICE & MENTORSHIP:

Some men reach out to women for mentorship; maybe in their careers or relationships. 

They just need someone to fill in as a sister, a mother or an aunt; someone who can keep them in check and manage their problems easily. 

So, they attach themselves to women whom they perceive to be geniuses so as to gain intellectually and mentally. 

Of course, they are not interested in sleeping with her; the advice and mentorship they gain from her serve them a lot of purposes.





6. FOR MARRIAGE:

Some men chase women with the sole aim of taking her home as a wife. They don’t really bother about long time dating before deciding to settle down. 

Their priority is never s*x; their goal is to look for a wife material (100 yards) and marry her without much delay. 

Such men walk straight to you and say “You are a good woman, I want to marry you” just like that and some women actually accept the proposal.

7. FOR SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE:

Please don’t laugh; this is real. Some men align themselves with women who are spiritually grounded; women who are close to God.  

They befriend these women maybe because they have gone astray and need spiritual guidance or simply to remain in the spiritual race.

Don’t be surprised when you see a man so close to a woman who sleeps in the church; he gains a lot from her spiritually.

8. FOR CHILDREN:

This one is kind of surprising but it’s true. Some men approach women to bear children for them. They do this because their wives can’t bear children for them. 

So they feel the best method to getting children, by all means, is to approach any lady they deem fertile to bear children for them. 

Of course, they would have to sleep with the lady first to get a child although some people go for other methods such as insemination. 

I have not heard of single men chasing women to bear children for them but I’ve heard of married men who do that.

There could be many other reasons why men chase women but these are the few I could come up with (If you have any to add, please drop a comment below). I believe all men are not the same. 

They all want different things from women; there is no way all men in the world would have the same taste or goal when it comes to women affairs.

It’s high time we stopped generalising and using the "All men are the same" mantra. 

The same way some men are deceitful and cunning is the same way some women are mean and evil but it doesn’t mean that all women are bitches. There are still good men and women out there.

The key is simply being open minded, following your instincts and filtering the good guys from the bad guys.



Sunday, July 03, 2016

THE LITTLE MOMENTS THAT REALLY MATTER



Something life changing happened to me some time ago and I want to share it with my dear readers. You may find it very trivial and irrelevant but it meant a lot to me. 

Two weeks ago, I attended a party review that took place in my school. The review featured some kids who were participating in different activities for the school's end of session party. 

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