Tuesday, July 05, 2016


I’ve heard a lot of girls and even women say “all men are the same” because of nasty experiences they have had over the years in relationships with men. 

These nasty experiences could have been in the form of men cheating on them or breaking their hearts when they had pictured their lives forever with them. 

This results in the women becoming cold and distant to men; although they are merely protecting themselves, some women overdo it. 

They just cover their hearts with different layers of armour, refusing to open up even when they meet “the one”. 

They are scared of falling back where they had struggled to come out of.

I used to be in that group of women who said the same thing but recently I’ve come across good men who have changed my line of thought. 

Because of them, I think otherwise; I see people and life in general in a very different way.

I used to think that all men come after a lady just for s*x and nothing more. I never believed a man would chase after a girl for any other reason than s*x. 

Anytime a man walked up to me to strike a conversation, I’ll just say to myself “I already know what he wants from me so I won’t even listen to all the crap he is saying.” 

So, I shunned a lot of men because I made wrong assumptions about them and their intentions. I closed the door in their faces without even giving them any chance to prove their worth. 

I just assumed they were all cunning and deceitful creatures who chased after women for only one thing.

I was simply doing what every girl would do; protect her fragile heart. Recently, I came to a realisation that all men aren’t the same. 

Men are different; they come in different colours and sizes, they have different tastes and fashion sense, they have different interests, they have different occupations, even their wooing styles are different. 

They also have different temperaments and I.Q levels. Even men who are twins can never be the same; there must be a difference no matter how little.

Men approach women with different intentions; they chase after women for diverse reasons. 

I’m going to mention the few reasons I’ve been able to observe and gather from my relationships with men.


Some men approach ladies simply for friendship. Even if they have other plans, they don’t say it until the lady feels comfortable around them. 

They don’t approach a lady and put s*x as the first event on the agenda. 

This group of men chase certain women because they seek friendship. They need someone to talk to; someone to share their successes and failures with, someone to explore crazy and absurd dreams with.

They would prefer a lady spending time with them talking and laughing than an occasional one night stand or casual fling.


Some men chase ladies because they have an empty space in their hearts to fill. So when they meet someone who fits their taste, they go for it without hesitation. 

They usually offer friendship and as the relationship progresses, they could move to a higher level of commitment. 

These categories of men prefer sleeping with women who they are emotionally attached to instead of having regular flings. 

All they want is emotional stability and they don’t mind chasing a woman for years to get that.

3. FOR S*X:

I have to admit that there are guys who live just for s*x. They don’t mind sleeping with a 16-year-old as far she has nipples sprouting out on her chest. 

When they approach a lady, their body language alone tells you everything you need to know. 

From the glint in their eyes to the wide grin on their faces and from the slide of their tongues over their lower lips to their inability to keep their hands to themselves show what they are really coming after. 

Most times when you give in to their flirtations, they would take what they want from you and move on to the next available chick. 

They don’t believe in love or being in a steady and committed relationship with one lady.


Some men attach themselves to certain women because they hope to gain financially from her. 

Sometimes, these women are aware of their intentions but often times, they are oblivious to their intentions. 

They assume the man loves them for who they are and not their money. 

The women end up catering for the man’s needs and paying all his bills in the name of love. 

In some cases, these men keep other women to attend to their s*xual and emotional needs while they benefit from the financially buoyant women. 

Usually, they would collect money from these rich women and spend it on their real girlfriends.


Some men reach out to women for mentorship; maybe in their careers or relationships. 

They just need someone to fill in as a sister, a mother or an aunt; someone who can keep them in check and manage their problems easily. 

So, they attach themselves to women whom they perceive to be geniuses so as to gain intellectually and mentally. 

Of course, they are not interested in sleeping with her; the advice and mentorship they gain from her serve them a lot of purposes.


Some men chase women with the sole aim of taking her home as a wife. They don’t really bother about long time dating before deciding to settle down. 

Their priority is never s*x; their goal is to look for a wife material (100 yards) and marry her without much delay. 

Such men walk straight to you and say “You are a good woman, I want to marry you” just like that and some women actually accept the proposal.


Please don’t laugh; this is real. Some men align themselves with women who are spiritually grounded; women who are close to God.  

They befriend these women maybe because they have gone astray and need spiritual guidance or simply to remain in the spiritual race.

Don’t be surprised when you see a man so close to a woman who sleeps in the church; he gains a lot from her spiritually.


This one is kind of surprising but it’s true. Some men approach women to bear children for them. They do this because their wives can’t bear children for them. 

So they feel the best method to getting children, by all means, is to approach any lady they deem fertile to bear children for them. 

Of course, they would have to sleep with the lady first to get a child although some people go for other methods such as insemination. 

I have not heard of single men chasing women to bear children for them but I’ve heard of married men who do that.

There could be many other reasons why men chase women but these are the few I could come up with (If you have any to add, please drop a comment below). I believe all men are not the same. 

They all want different things from women; there is no way all men in the world would have the same taste or goal when it comes to women affairs.

It’s high time we stopped generalising and using the "All men are the same" mantra. 

The same way some men are deceitful and cunning is the same way some women are mean and evil but it doesn’t mean that all women are bitches. There are still good men and women out there.

The key is simply being open minded, following your instincts and filtering the good guys from the bad guys.

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