Tuesday, 30 August 2016

14 Things Every Girl Will Encounter Before She Turns 30


A man clutching his lady's leg


Life is a journey where we meet different things and people every day. 

These people and things may influence our character, beliefs, perspective about life and even our lifestyle. 

Our skills and experiences are also gathered during this compulsory journey. 

As a girl, there are certain things we must encounter before we attain the age of 30.


1). A Marriage Proposal:

Every girl who has turned 18 would likely receive a marriage proposal from someone. 

This someone could be a total stranger who feels a certain connection with you and has this strong belief that the both of you were meant to be. 

Of course, you, on the other hand, wouldn't even nurture thoughts of getting married soon. 

From the age of 16 upwards, series of similar proposals would come your way whether you expect them or not. 

I got my first marriage proposal when I was 17 and it was scary!! 

I kept thinking of having kids at that age, abruptly ending my education and being away from my family. Seriously, it was terrifying.

2). An Older Man: 

I seriously don't even understand this one but it happens to a lot of ladies. 

Do you remember that time one married elderly man approached you with a lot of promises in his mouth? 

Yes, I know you do! How could you forget? 

He kept proclaiming his undying love for you and telling you how he is going to take care of you and your entire family if only you would accept him as your lover. 

He even went as far as telling you how he is the right choice for you simply because he has some large amount of money stashed away somewhere. 

Well, you are not the only who has ever received such attention from an older man. They are practically everywhere!

3). A First Love:

Every girl has that one special boy who changed her life. That boy who sang love songs to you during extra cool until you fell asleep. 

That romantic who told you he could fetch the moon and stars for you. That cute boy who wrote love letters that began with "Ditto" and ended with "From the basket of love". 

That boy whom we jumped the fence for just to sit in a dark corner and gist about irrelevant things *smiles* 

How can I possibly forget my first love? I know we all had that first special person in our lives that we cherished once upon a time.

4). A Flock of Admirers:

I remember when I started having my share of admirers. I felt on top of the world; everywhere, I passed large men eyes seemed to stare at me until saliva literally dripped from their gaping lips**eww** 

Aside from the saliva episode, it was such an awesome time. I'm sure we've all had our time to shine and our share of admirers. 

These days, you could still have all that attention from guys but it won't seem as exciting as the first time.

5). A Rapist:

Not every lady likes to admit that she has either being raped or almost raped. 

We all want to hide that aspect of our lives because we feel people would blame us for what happened. 

Whether we admit it or not, some ladies have had traumatising experiences with rapists and others are still encountering them. 

We hide these experiences for fear that society will see us as wayward ladies but sharing your experiences with someone would help you heal faster and probably save someone in the future. 

Rape is quite a sensitive topic even for me but I hope we all get some relief from that mental and physical torture we might have been through.

6). A S*x Educator:

This may not apply to all ladies because some of you may turn out be s*x educators yourselves **tongue in cheek**. 

But for some other ladies, they may come across men who would seem more experienced in the bedroom. 
This type of men are the ones who show you what being a woman feels like. They take their time to educate you s*xually and otherwise.


A man kneeling down for his lady


7). The Wrong Man:

There is always this one man that you feel is the right choice for you. Because of loneliness, a lady could jump into any relationship that comes her way without even considering other important factors. 

She may even notice the warning signs everywhere but she deliberately refuses to end the relationship because she doesn't want to end up alone. 

One day, the relationship would come crashing down and all the flaws and incompatibility issues she tried to suppress would glare at her right in the face.

8). A True Love:

This person may not necessarily be your first love. Your first love may not end up being your true love. 

There is a chance that you will part ways and then you will meet someone who will show you what the true definition of love is. 

This person will slowly clear all your fears and doubts about love. He will break off all the barriers around your heart and make you see love in a new dimension. 

He will adore you like no other and you will keep asking yourself "Am I dreaming?" 

Your true love is that person who sees the strength in your weaknesses and makes you step out of your shell into the world. He shows you the beauty of the world that you have never seen before.

9). An Unrequited Love:

No girl can deny the fact that there is always that man who professes his undying love for her even when she has no iota of feelings for him. 

She never seems to bring herself to love him back the way he wants. 

Even though she tries to love him, she would always see him as just a friend and nothing more.

He is always there in your time of need, he is often the shoulder you cry on and the hand that wipes away your tears but you never reciprocate the love.

10). A Crazy Friend:

Every girl has that one friend who is quite different from the rest. That friend who is ever so hyperactive and energetic that you wonder the level of carbohydrate she consumes. 

That friend who knows you inside out even when you don't utter a word. 

That crazy friend who introduces you to beer, boys, cigarettes, clubbing and men.

I know you have met a friend like that; I have met one too and she lights up my world with her burning aura **laughs**.

11) A Best Friend:

I don't think I need to explain anything here because everyone has a best friend.

For some people, a sibling and not a total stranger could become their best friend. 

A best friend is that one special person we confide in and share our deepest secrets with; that person who would always support us in any decision we make. 

A best friend is that person who tells you exactly how things are without sugarcoating anything. 

That person who knows all your flaws and accepts you just the way you are. Even though you throw other friends away, your best friend will stick to you like glue.

12). A Man who wants a child:

This sounds rather funny and condescending at the same time but it happens. 

You could meet a man who only wants you to bear a child for him; he doesn't need you or your love. 

All he wants is a child from you; the compensation you will get will be negotiable of course.

Don't be deceived into thinking he wants to marry you. He has probably made such a request to other ladies.

13). A Married Man:

I know a lot of girls come in contact with many married men who want an affair with them. 

I'm sure you remember that time a young married man kept chasing you all over the place and you kept wondering what was wrong with him. 

He even showered you with so many gifts just to get your attention. 

Well, you're not the first or the last to receive such flirtations and gifts from married men. 

If you ask me why they deliberately want to cheat on their young wives, I can boldly tell you that "I have no idea but I definitely know that they exist anyway."

14). The Right man:

Not everyone gets the chance to meet Mr Right but for those who do, it would be a memorable experience for you. 

When you meet him, you would know because you will have a new kind of peace and inner contentment when you're around him. 

He may be imperfect in other people's eyes but in yours, he will be the perfect partner for you.


We all have different experiences but sometimes our experiences are intertwined. 

All ladies under 30 may have encountered at least 7 things from this list.  

As a lady, have you encountered any of these things?




Wednesday, 24 August 2016

Should You Attend Your Ex’s Wedding?




Last night, I was talking to a close friend on the phone and in the course of our conversation, she brought up her ex's wedding invitation. 

She had received it three days ago with indifference but she seemed kind of worried on the phone.

Then she asked me a much-anticipated question "Jenny, do you think I should attend Chidi's wedding?" At first, I wanted to say "Ha, am I the one to make that choice for you?" 

But, instead, I replied, "Do you still love him?" I had to ask this question because I sensed she still had feelings for him and I needed to know how to advise her.

Chidi was her first love and now he is getting married to someone else. Their love was magical as I recall. Her reply confirmed that she had some prepping to do. 

She said, "Not really. He was my first love so he'll always have a special place in my heart but I'm so over him."

After a brief moment of silence, I asked her, "Then, what are you really afraid of?"
Her answer sent me rolling on the floor with laughter although I knew it was a serious matter to her. 

She said," I'm afraid that when I set my eyes on him again, all the memories I tried so hard to flush away will flood my head."

When I said nothing, she continued, "I'm also afraid that when I see him kissing his bride, I'll go red with jealousy. 

Finally, I'm scared that when the Reverend says " If anyone here thinks that this couple should not be joined together in holy matrimony, please step forward, I might just jump out of my chair, screaming hysterically like a possessed witch " Stop! Don't wed them, He is my one true love."

Before she could finish her witch drama, I was laughing uncontrollably. I had no idea she had analysed every bit of how weird or awful the wedding might be. 

Even though, I laughed at the whole scenario, a part of me understood how she felt.

Have you been invited to an ex's wedding? Are you contemplating whether to attend or not? Read these few tips to  prepare yourself:






1. Evaluate your emotional status:

When did you and your ex break up? How long have you both been apart? 6 months, a year, two years or even more?  How do you feel when you think about your ex? 

Do you feel sad, angry, happy or indifferent? Some people feel they've moved on simply because they have relocated, cut off all contact with their ex and had rebound s*x with a total stranger. 

But deep down, they still harbour warm feelings for their ex, wishing silently that they would come back.

2. Don't expect too much:

It is normal to feel that because you had a long and intense relationship with your ex in the past, he would sweep you off your feet when he sees you. 

Some ladies could even go as far as daydreaming that when the ex lays his eyes on her, some magical dust will fall off his eyes and he will abandon his bride-to-be at the altar to reunite with his true love.

Just snap out of it already! 

You're not in the movies and your ex isn't Chris Pine or Channing Tatum. Don't expect too much: just accept that your ex has found his missing rib. Be genuinely happy for him.

3. Endeavour to buy a gift for the couple:

I know how very tempting it is to go to an ex's wedding with a frowning face and no gift at all. I'm sure you are thinking "Why should I even buy the jerk a gift with my hard earned money?" 

Well, it's not compulsory: it's just courtesy. Remember, you are not going to start a war; you just want to join in the celebration of his union right?

Going to the wedding without a gift could send the wrong message to some people. 

Be mature; walk majestically into a gift shop, buy a nice gift for him and his bride, wrap it neatly and don't forget to carry it along on the day of the wedding.

I know some mischievous ladies will buy a vibrator as a wedding gift for their ex. If that's your plan; don't write your name on it, let them keep guessing **winks**

4. Be prepared to see his family and friends:

It is very likely that his family members and close friends will attend the wedding too. Don't become nervous when you see them; just be calm and put on an expressionless face. 

There is a probability that they would ignore you or even pretend not to recognise you. 

On the other hand, be prepared to welcome any warm pleasantries extended towards you. Your ex might even introduce you to his bride-to-be just to flaunt her in your face.

5. Expect some awkward moments:

I'm not saying you should expect the worst scenarios but just be prepared for some eerily awkward moments that could likely occur. 

These moments could include: missing your step because of the uninvited stares directed at you, an unanticipated stream of tears, a sudden feeling of loss, not being served food or wine etc.

6. Put on a head-turning attire:

It's your ex's wedding and you know the kind of people you would likely meet there. Dress hot but don't look desperate. 

Choose a dress that shows off some curves, a shoe that flaunts your flawless legs, jewellery and bag that show off your awesome personality. 

If you don't want to look like someone who is suffering from heartbreak, dress well but don't look like a prostitute.

Phew!! Just be yourself, keep your head high and try not to be a drama queen. If you don't want to attend, no one would strangle you.

Have you ever attended any of your ex's wedding? How did it go? If you haven't been to any, would you attend if invited?




Tuesday, 23 August 2016

WHEN A LOVED ONE DIES...



I lost my mum 12 years ago; it was a very painful experience for me. I was just a kid in Jss 3 when she died. I didn't really know what death meant before then. Whenever I heard someone had died, I just shrugged it off until death came knocking on our own door.

Saturday, 20 August 2016

THE ISSUE OF NYSC AND UNEMPLOYMENT: What's The Way Forward?



Hi guys, this post really has nothing to do with love and relationship but it's an issue that has been bothering me for a while now.

Earlier this year, there was a rumour going on that the Federal Government wanted to scrap out NYSC. 

When I learnt about the rumour, I had some mixed feelings; I wasn't sure I was happy or sad.

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR UNEMPLOYED YOUTHS



Last week, I wrote a post which was targeted to employed people who may have recently lost their jobs due to the redundancy going on in major companies all over the nation.

Today’s post is dedicated to all the unemployed youths out there. Youths who have spent so much time, energy and money to obtain honourable degrees and yet are jobless.

Thursday, 11 August 2016

HAVE YOU BEEN LAID OFF FROM WORK?... WHAT’S NEXT?




The workforce has changed dramatically. These days, companies are downsizing, merging, folding up or simply cutting costs.

Even white-collar professionals who thought their lives were secure through retirement are now feeling vulnerable and stressed. 

There is serious pressure everywhere because every company is struggling to keep its head afloat in the business world. 

Saturday, 6 August 2016

Celebrity Wedding: Kevin Hart Weds Eniko Parrish



A hollywood actor and his sweetheart would be tying the knot very soon. After his first marriage to Torrie Hart fell apart, Kevin has decided to walk down the aisle again. Read their story below:

MEET THE GROOM

 
                                                           

Kevin Darnell Hart was born on July 6, 1979, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, U.S.A. He went to Temple University for 2 years. He is a successful actor, comedian, writer and producer. He was married to Torrie Hart for 8 years and they have two beautiful kids; Hendrix and Heaven.

THE CUTE BRIDE

       


Her name is Eniko Parrish. She was born on August18, 1984in Baltimore, Maryland, U.S.A. She is an American public figure, socialite, aspiring fashion model and actress.

WHEN DID THEY START DATING?


Parrish began dating Kevin in 2011 soon after he separated from his former wife, Torrie. They dated for 5 years before they got engaged. 

Kevin says “I didn’t meet Eniko when I was ‘Kev’ (famous). I met her when it was ‘Oh, it’s about to get crazy.’ I was doing some shows in the theatre I wasn’t in arenas yet or movies. She’s been around. 

Through public eye, it looks like ‘Aww man, that’s your money chick. She popped around when the money came.’ Nah, she been around. 

We’ve got seven years! I got a good one. I can’t play any games. I call her ‘My Rib’ and I don’t think people understand what that means. 

It’s from the Bible. A rib is something you can’t live without; you’re not supposed to live without.” Isn’t that cute?

WHEN DID THEY GET ENGAGED?


They got engaged on 18 August 2014 when Kevin popped the big question to his rib, Eniko on her 30th birthday. 

Parrish posted a video of the proposal and an image on Instagram, then she tweeted “I said YES!!!!! To the most amazing man in the world...

THE WEDDING DETAILS

   
                                              

The cute couple is set to wed on Monday, 8th August 2016 after a two-year engagement. Kevin’s 8-year-old son, Hendrix will be his best man! 

The wedding will take place in Santa Barbara, California. Kevin hinted that the wedding will be small and simple!!

KEVIN’S MESSAGE TO ALL THE SINGLE LADIES OUT THERE

He is officially off the market.  He said “That’s right, ladies. I got to put this chocolate in the freezer!” Hart recently joked with ET. “That’s right, it’s over. 

So if you wanted a piece, you better take that and put it in your pocket because you can’t get it, because it’s happening Aug.8. That’s right.”

Congrats to the cute couple!! I wish them a fruitful married life!!

Friday, 5 August 2016

THE BEST BIRTH CONTROL METHOD FOR YOUNG MOTHERS


When a baby comes, many people are excited about the adorable creature that has joined the family. 

But when childbirth becomes a yearly activity, a lot of stress could be put on the mother and other members of the family.

A woman gets excited when she gets pregnant even if it wasn’t planned but when all the stress comes crashing on her, the excitement instantly jumps out of the window. 

There will be lots of things to buy when a baby arrives; diapers, baby food, baby clothes, baby accessories, baby utensils etc. 

The list is ever long. Imagine buying all this every year continuously because you don’t know how to space your babies. 

Definitely, you’ll feel strained in every dimension; emotionally, physically, mentally and financially.

What if you knew of a birth control that really worked? A birth control that is 100% successful and safe without any side effects. Won’t that be great?

You’ve all possibly heard and even used some popular birth controls such as the withdrawal method, injections, pills, condoms, etc. How effective are they?

During withdrawal, there is always a possibility that some semen seeps out even before ejacul~tion. Some women are sceptical about injections because it could render one barren. 

As for pills, who wants to keep popping them to prevent a pregnancy?  And how long will you keep that up? Of course, they also have side effects.

How about using a condom? What’s the possibility it won’t break during s*x? 

Moreover, how many married men would agree to use a condom on their wives in order to prevent unwanted or unplanned pregnancies?

I won’t be able to exhaust all the birth control methods because obviously I’m not a health specialist but the ultimate question is “If all these methods have some side effects, which one is totally safe and accurate?”


WHAT IS THE BEST CONTROL METHOD?

Sorry, I won’t tell you to use the withdrawal method; neither would I recommend condoms, pills or injections. 

From my research, I discovered that the only reliable birth control method is ABSTINENCE. Hahahahahahah... Very funny, right? No, it isn’t. 

This is the real deal, dear wives. I’m sure you’re saying to yourself “I’m a married woman. 

Why would I deliberately abstain from s*x?” well, if you really want to control your birth rate, I would advise you stay with me on this one.

The abstinence method would be used only for a few days every month. It involves abstaining from s*x on the days you ovulate. How do you effectively use this method?

1. Practice self-control:

It takes two to practice self-control; both partners have to be willing and cooperative. 

Ladies, especially have to make this work; you have some convincing and refusal to do because it won’t be easy for your spouse. 

I know men would hate this method but let’s be honest! You can’t possibly be having s*x every day now that you’re married. So, what’s the big deal? You only have to abstain for a few days.

2. Know your ovulation cycle:

For those who may not know, according to www.medicalnewstoday.comOvulation is one part of the female menstrual cycle whereby a mature ovarian follicle (part of the ovary) discharges an egg (also known as an ovum, or female gamete). 

It is during this process that the egg travels down the fallopian tube where it may be met by a sp~rm and become fertilised.


How do you know you’re ovulating?


A woman’s cycle can vary; it is not always as regular as a clock. 

To know that you are ovulating and on which day of your cycle you are ovulating, observe your fertility signs throughout your cycle and record them on a chart.

The most accurate methods of knowing when ovulation is about to occur are:

* Look out for changes in your mucus: 

Around the time of ovulation, you may notice your v~gina’s mucus is clear, slick and slippery; the consistency of egg white. This is the best sign of when ovulation is actually happening.

* Watch out for an increase in your s*x drive: 

If you’re constantly wet and h°rny, you’re definitely ovulating. You know that period you feel like jumping on your spouse and tearing off his clothes? Yeah, that’s it.  It is the body’s way of preparing for fertilisation.

* Check for abdominal pains: 

Sometimes during ovulation, a woman can experience mild or severe pains in her abdomen. 

It could be so severe that she can't walk, sit or lie down without screaming out in pain. 

S*x could also be a painful activity for some women during this period. This could be a definite sign of ovulation.

* Get an ovulation predictor kit: 

You can start testing with your ovulation predictor kit a few days before your estimated day of ovulation. You can get this at the hospital or a pharmacy.

* Record your basal body temperature (BBT) each day before getting out of bed: 

Buy a thermometer and use it to measure your body temperature every day.  Using a special basal body temperature thermometer will ensure accurate measurement. 

Your BBT rises about half a degree Celsius after ovulation has occurred. By charting your temperature, it’s easy to see when the rise in temperature and ovulation happens. 

* Calculate your ovulation days: 

Women ovulate every 14 days after they begin your menstruation. Get a calendar and mark the first day of your last period. 

Count 14 days from that first day and you will get your ovulation day which is your most fertile day. You can also download an ovulation calculator on your phone.

For example, if your period begins on the 8th of a particular month, start counting from the 8th till you get to the 14th day after. See illustration below:


1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30

Red stands for the menstrual period (8th-12th).

Blue represents the ovulation days (16-21). If you have s*x during any of the 5 days to your most fertile day, you are likely to get pregnant.

White represents safe days. You are free to have s*xual intercourse with your spouse on these days.

Note: You have to calculate your ovulation every month because it changes according to your menstrual period.





3. Be committed and determined:

After successfully calculating your ovulation days, what’s next? Well, you have to be the executor of this plan. 

Talk to your husband and convince him about your birth control method. You need to be strong and determined to carry this out.

4. Don’t engage in any form of s*x:

Any form of s*x such as oral, anal, v~ginal is not allowed during this period. It is risky.

5. Use emergency birth control pills (if necessary):

If by any chance you fall into temptation and you have s*x during ovulation, you can buy an emergency pill from the pharmacy to prevent pregnancy.

There you have it! This is the best and most natural birth control method without side effects or complications. 

If done correctly, you can plan your family properly by spacing your children the way you want. 

The only hindrance to the success of this method is carelessness on your own part and lack of self-control. 

It requires a great deal of self-control and cooperation from you and your partner. You can always try multiple birth control methods to find out what works for you and your spouse. 

Doctors usually advise couples to use more than one birth control method.

Remember the ‘fertile window’ is the five days leading up to and including ovulation. The three days leading up to and including ovulation are the most fertile. 

Depending on your cycle length the most fertile days in the cycle varies; just pay attention to your body.


Have you ever tried the abstinence method? Did it work for you and your spouse?