Thursday, 10 August 2017

5 Obvious Reasons Why Igbo Men Never Get Married Early


I was chatting with a close friend today and somehow we landed into marriage gist. 

When I told him I was planning on settling down soon, his reply was "You're a Lady na! We men have a longer way to go." 

Trust me, I didn't leave the matter at that so I asked him "Your mates never marry?" He laughed and said "Am an Igbo boy. It's not the same for us."

Our conversation piqued my interest and even after our chat, his words couldn't leave my mind. 


I kept thinking of all the Igbo guys I've met that are still single; I've met quite a lot of them. 

Most of them are husband material (100 yards) but they have no plans to settle down. Their common slogan is "Hustling things". 

If you go down to the North, the Middle belt and the West, you'll find young married men with children but in the East, it's a totally different ball game. 


If you are invited to any wedding in the Eastern part of Nigeria, expect to see a man in his late thirties or even early forties as the groom.

What's really happening to our Igbo guys in the East? Why are they carrying the "singlehood logo on their foreheads?

Well, I spoke to a few people and from the honest answers they gave me, I was able to gather some information. 

Igbo men never get married early due to some reasons:

1. Financial instability:

An Igbo man doesn't even conceive the idea of marriage until he has some substantial amount of money in his bank account. 

The Igbos strongly believe that power and respect come only when there is a lot of money.

They love being well established and financially secure befor
e getting married. They want to have millions, become landlords and own many properties before settling down. 

So, they wait until they are financially capable of taking a wife and starting a family.

2. Family responsibility:

Some Igbo guys come from large homes where the adults have to do their best to support the little ones. 

Because of this, they put off marriage till the family responsibility has reduced. 

They wait patiently till their siblings become independent before they move on to have a family of their own. 

Those who aren't patient enough go into marriages early and are faced with a large responsibility of taking care of two families.



3. They haven't found the one:

Some Igbo men don't get married early because they've sim
ply not found "the one". This doesn't mean that they never have girlfriends or fiancées. 

The truth is that they don't tell their girlfriends their plans of becoming rich before marriage. 

The girls wait and wait and eventually due to pressure and lack of patience, they move on with someone else. 

When the Igbo man finally becomes rich, he starts searching for someone who would love him for who he is and not just for his money. 

We all know how hard that is in this generation.

4. They are not just ready:

As surprising as it sounds, some Igbo men aren't ready to settle d
own even when they have made their money. 

They are too busy enjoying life with the money they have made that marriage becomes the last thing on their scale of preference. 

These type of men believe marriage is bondage and so they decide to remain single and flex until their mother starts begging them to find a wife and bring them grandchildren.

5. Fear of the unknown:

Some Igbo men are sincerely afraid of what the future holds for them concerning marriage. 

After calculating the cost of a wedding, baby food, baby clothes, accessories, diapers and maternity fees, they run away from getting married. 

They assume they would go bankrupt after their wedding and well, they have worked so hard to earn all that money. 

So they keep postponing the wedding till they overcome their phobia for marriage.





To all the sisters currently dating Igbo men, kudos to you!!! To those who are successfully married to Igbo men, I say "Congratulations".

If you aren't dating any Igbo man, try getting one and then you would understand that patience is truly a virtue. 

I'm currently dating an Igbo man and it's not been easy. I'm seriously considering adding " Endurance or Patience " to my name one of these days.

To those of you who have been wondering why Prince Emeka hasn't brought palm wine to see your family, I guess you know now. 

The ball is in your court; you either move on or you learn how to be very patient, supportive and understanding.

Do you think I missed any reason that should be on the list? 

8 comments:

  1. Lol... Igbo men is it true? As for me I think it's a general reason in men of all tribes.for Men who tied knots early, I think they are well informed and influenced to have done so.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your opinion, Treasure. But I think I've noticed a trend with this particular tribe. In the North, for example, girls get married off at a tender age but in other parts of Nigeria, I think it is quite different. Or would you say it is the same for every tribe?

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  2. I don't agree totally with you on this Jenny. In the olden days, they got married quite early. In this recent time, we ladies want a society wedding and a man who has a Car and if possible a house of his own. Now, the guys feel unaccepted till they attain this height before searching for a woman. I have seen young Igbo guys in their late 20's get married. By the way, when a woman wants an already man, she is sure looking for an uncle as her husband because the young guys who are willing to settle down may not have all of that. So, I think women contribute to this.

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    1. Thanks for your comment dear. Nice point! But I strongly believe that every man should be able to cut his coat according to his cloth! If a woman is too materialistic for a man, let him find someone he is compatible with or try to make her adjust a bit.

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  3. Igbo guys are very crafty and wise in decision-making concerning money and marriage. They have value attached to what they are going to save and a vivid account of their expenditures. So, the issue of marriage due to the above reasons becomes a hard journey for them to embark on. Thanks

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    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the matter. It seems you're speaking from experience.

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  4. Really nice Article, but pretty much all the points apply to most if not all men irrespective of ethnicity, cultural background or nationality. :)

    I know that it affects some tribes like the Igbos more than others. Sometimes getting married when you have nothing and building your wealth and status with your wife can help you appreciate her and your marriage even more.

    But I've also seen many cases where a young Igbo man lost his fiancé to a wealthy and more established man, even though he was ready for marriage and had proposed. I guess the pendulum swings both ways. :)

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    1. Well, if you say so! But I think the tribe that is most affected by these factors are the Igbos especially the money aspect. They all want to get wealthy before marriage but they forget that sometimes doors of success and favour open after marriage and not necessarily before.

      And Yeah, I've seen such cases too. I guess it's our African mentality that encourages the idea of marrying someone for his wealth even when you love someone else.

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