How to Use the 5 Love Languages to Solve Relationship Issues

The 5 love languages

Every relationship encounters problems from time to time and our ability to solve these problems is what breaks or makes the relationship. Problems we encounter could be finance-related, sex-related or family-related.

Some people run away the moment they are faced with challenges in a relationship; they just don’t know how to handle the chaos. Running away doesn’t solve anything because the moment you enter into another relationship, you will encounter the same difficulties. It all boils down to understanding the 5 love languages and knowing how to use them to solve relationship issues.


Most times, women throw tantrums simply because they want attention or they were offended by their partners. A woman could get upset because you didn’t do something right or you didn’t do the right thing at the right time. She expects her man to understand her as though he reads her mind and even predict her moods; a man is supposed to know when he does something wrong or offensive.


On the other hand, a man would get upset if he is refused food or sex or if he is broke. He needs to feel like a man and not having sex could be really frustrating for him.  A man also finds fulfillment in providing for his lover or wife; it makes him feel useful and wanted.


Have you ever wondered if there was something you could do to help your partner out of a bad mood swing or depression? Or have you offended him or her and you wished for a particular way to apologize? Don’t fret it! Every relationship issue could be solved with this very easy secret; using the love language of your partner.


Have you heard about the 5 love languages?


Dr Gary Chapman, the author of The 5 Love Languages, writes about the
importance of being able to express love to your spouse in a way that your spouse can understand. He calls this type of communication using the five languages of love. Speaking in your spouse’s love language probably won’t be natural for you.

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Dr Chapman says, “We’re not talking comfort. We’re talking love. Love is something we do for someone else. So often couples love one another but they aren’t connecting. They are sincere, but sincerity isn’t enough.” The best way to fill your spouse’s love tank is to express love in their love language. Each of us has a primary love language. Usually, couples don’t have the same love language.


The 5 love languages are:

The 5 love languages

1). Words of Affirmation:


This involves using words to communicate to your partner. It is when you say how nice your spouse looks, or how great the dinner tasted or how appreciative you are for something your spouse did. When you use nice words to compliment your spouse, he or she will develop a better self-image and confidence.

2). Quality Time:


This involves spending enough time with your spouse. It doesn’t necessarily mean going to the movies or shopping but those little precious moments you spend together at home. Some couples believe that being together, doing things together and focusing on one another is the best way to show love.


If this is your partner’s love language, turn off the TV now and then and give each other some undivided attention. Some people prefer staying indoors and talking to someone than going out to a noisy and crowd place.


3). Acts of Service:


Discovering how you can best do something for your spouse will require time and creativity. These acts of service like cleaning, cooking, planting a garden, or even dropping the kids off at school need to be done with joy in order to be perceived as a gift of love. A lot of guys feel chores are meant for only the ladies but when you go out of your way to help a lady once in a while, it will be greatly appreciated.

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4). Physical Touch:


The essence of touching in a relationship must not be undermined. Sometimes just stroking your spouse’s back, holding hands or a peck on the cheek or forehead will fulfill this need. Physical touch helps to create deep bonds between two lovers and equally ease off stress. Most times, sex is just what the other person needs to feel loved and wanted.

5). Gifts:


It is universal in human cultures to give gifts. They don’t have to be expensive to send a powerful message of love. Spouses who forget a birthday/ anniversary and never give gifts to someone who truly enjoys receiving gifts will find themselves with a spouse who feels neglected and unloved. Some people see gifts as a way of showing that you love them.


Many people have no clue of what they are doing in a relationship and as a result, they end up with one problem or the other with their partner. I believe a lot of problems would be solved and even avoided if only we know how to use the 5 love languages on our partners.


If you want to learn more about the 5 love languages and how you can use it to strengthen  your relationship, grab a copy of Dr Chapman’s book. I encourage you to learn your spouse’s language today and begin to use it to grow your relationship. You won’t regret it!


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