9 Steps to Being a Better Stepmom

wedding bells have suddenly quieted down and all the guests have left. Your
honeymoon was an awesome time spent with your honey boo and you wished it would
last forever. If wishes were horses! Even the honeymoon is all over and you’re
home with your cuddle pie… Oh Wait! His kids are here too…

Well, you’re not exactly taken by surprise by their presence though. I guess
things happened so fast and you didn’t expect the sweet moments to be over just
yet. You had imagined beautiful scenarios of cooking nice meals for your love
and you receiving regular warm massages. 
Of course, you were cool with the idea
of being a stepmother at first. I mean look at those cute brown eyes looking up
at you expectantly. They are probably wondering who the hell you are and where
their mommy has gone to. They are asking if you would take care of them as
their mommy used to. Although Daddy has said you’re really nice, they are not
so sure.

You, on the other hand, is now faced with caring for your husband and his kids!
Pretty awesome yeah? Nah, it’s frightening!! You’re now officially a superwoman
and you have some multitasking to do. 
Even the household chores now belong to
you. You have cleaning, cooking, babysitting and other countless chores to do.
You no longer have time for yourself; the new makeup your husband gave to you
is still packed up. 
The awful wig hanging on the wall looks more appealing than the beautiful
weaves and extensions you’ve purchased. Is all this stress even worth it?
Wouldn’t your life be easier without this man and his troublesome kids?
Certainly not!

You’re blessed dear! Count yourself lucky for what you now have. God has given
you a couple of kids to take care of and you want to throw it all away?
Being a stepmother is surely not a journey of roses. Even if
your husband’s kids are all grown up and you don’t have to babysit them, little
issues could still spring up. The first major issue is that you may be faced
with fighting for your husband’s attention with his kids. 
Of course, he loves
them and is trying to fill in as both a mother and father to them. Don’t get it
all wrong but he has probably being playing both mom and dad long before you
came into the picture. He’s just used to always looking out for his kids and
making sure they get the best out of life. 

Now, you’re here and you’re hoping he’ll pass the baton to you but he’s still
hesitating. Don’t think he doesn’t trust you enough to leave his kids
completely to you; I’m sure he does. It would be a gradual process of letting
go. The second major issue is your husband’s perception of his kids. 
Well, in
his eyes, they are the most perfect kids in the world and they could never do
wrong. When you try to point out some of their flaws, he covers them up with a
lot of excuses. 
And then, you become a perfect witch and an outcast. Every move
you make is watched with binoculars. 

Being a stepmom won’t always be fun and exciting. There are days you wish
someone would actually believe you and not look at you as a bad wife/mother.
Other days,, you just wish to be alone with your love and just have a nice
Occasionally, you feel blessed to have joined this awesome family. Yes,
life is full of ups and downs but your ability to tackle every challenge as
they come, makes you stronger. 
So, the question is how do you become a
wonderful step mother/wife and still have some quality time to yourself?

1. Invite
God into your marriage
Every marriage
needs God to survive. Without God, you’re always going to be lost and confused.
But with God, every obstacle appears surmountable. Invite God into your family
if you haven’t done that already and always tell him about your challenges.
He’ll show you the way.

2. Plan ahead
Planning is a necessity when
you’re faced with a lot of tasks to accomplish. Get a notebook and write down
all the chores you have to do every week. Assign specific hours to each task
and try your best to stick to the deadlines. A lot of people hate planning but
I think it makes life easier.

3. Keep your husband happy
When your husband
is happy, his kids are also happy. They watch your every step and make sure
that you make their daddy happy. Prepare his favourite meals during the
weekends and show him some love. It’s not so difficult, is it?

4. Don’t talk bad about the kids
You know how
annoyed you get when the kids offend you and your husband thinks you’re over
reacting? Yeah, and you think that bad mouthing them would actually taint their
holy image. No! Don’t stoop so low! Bad mouthing them actually makes you look
really evil. Yeah!

5. Treat the kids like allies and not foes
The moment you begin to treat the kids like you all are in a competition, they
grow distant from you. They become wary of you and it becomes difficult to earn
their love. Try to make them your friends

6.Earn their love; don’t force it
even if you want them to love you, don’t over stress it. Just be nice to them
and let the love grow. Don’t overemphasize the nice part though. A little
discipline every now and then won’t kill them.

7. Show yourself some love
While you’re busy
pleasing everyone else, don’t forget to give yourself a treat once in a while.
A manicure, a great movie or some shopping could suffice.

8. Get an extra hand
If you feel you cannot handle all the
household chores by yourself, please hire someone or find someone who can
help you with some of the work. With an extra hand, you can have some time
to yourself and actually have some fun occasionally.

9. Be patient
Every good thing doesn’t come easy.
You will need a lot of patience to help your family and your marriage work.
Some days could be really bad and stressful but with patience, you can overcome
them. Just be patient and remember that God is your strength.

Are you a stepmom? How have you been coping with your husband’s kids?

2 thoughts on “9 Steps to Being a Better Stepmom

  1. Cherie, ce n'est pas toujours à nous de choissir un mari. Quelque fois, c'est Dieu ou bien l'amour qui fait le choix. Le mot "stepmother" en français est la belle mere.

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