same” because of nasty experiences they have had over the years in
relationships with men.
This results in the women becoming cold and distant to
men; although they are merely protecting themselves, some women overdo it. They
just cover their hearts with different layers of armour, refusing to open up
even when they meet “the one”.
They are scared of falling back where they had
struggled to come out of. I used to be in that group of women who said the same thing but recently I’ve come across good men who have changed my line of thought.
of them, I think otherwise; I see people and life in general in a very
different way. I used to think that all men come after a lady just for sex and nothing
more. I never believed a man would chase after a girl for any other reason than
say to myself “I already know what he wants from me so I won’t even listen to
all the crap he is saying.”
So, I shunned a lot of men because I made wrong
assumptions about them and their intentions. I closed the door in their faces
without even giving them any chance to prove their worth.
I just assumed they
were all cunning and deceitful creatures who chased after women for only one
thing. I was simply doing what every girl would do; protect her fragile
heart. Recently, I came to a realisation that all men aren’t the same.
different; they come in different colours and sizes, they have different tastes
and fashion sense, they have different interests, they have different
occupations, even their wooing styles are different.
They also have different
temperaments and I.Q levels. Even men who are twins can never be the same;
there must be a difference no matter how little. Men approach women with different intentions; they chase after
women for diverse reasons.
I’m going to mention the few reasons I’ve been able
to observe and gather from my relationships with men.
1. FOR FRIENDSHIP:
other plans, they don’t say it until the lady feels comfortable around them. They don’t approach a lady and put sex as the first event on the agenda.
group of men chase certain women because they seek friendship. They need
someone to talk to; someone to share their successes and failures with, someone
to explore crazy and absurd dreams with.
They would prefer a lady spending time
with them talking and laughing than an occasional one night stand or casual
2. FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP:
hearts to fill. So when they meet someone who fits their taste, they go for it
without hesitation. They usually offer friendship and as the relationship
progresses, they could move to a higher level of commitment.
of men prefer sleeping with women who they are emotionally attached to instead
of having regular flings. All they want is emotional stability and they don’t
mind chasing a woman for years to get that.
3. FOR SEX:
don’t mind sleeping with a 16-year-old as far she has nipples sprouting out on
her chest. When they approach a lady, their body language alone tells you
everything you need to know.
From the glint in their eyes to the wide grin on
their faces and from the slide of their tongues over their lower lips to their
inability to keep their hands to themselves show what they are really coming
Most times when you give in to their flirtations, they would take what
they want from you and move on to the next available chick.
They don’t believe
in love or being in a steady and committed relationship with one lady.
4. FOR FINANCIAL GAIN:
financially from her. Sometimes, these women are aware of their intentions but
often times, they are oblivious to their intentions.
They assume the man loves
them for who they are and not their money. The women end up catering for the
man’s needs and paying all his bills in the name of love.
In some cases, these
men keep other women to attend to their sexual and emotional needs while they
benefit from the financially buoyant women.
Usually, they would collect money
from these rich women and spend it on their real girlfriends.
5. FOR ADVICE & MENTORSHIP:
or relationships. They just need someone to fill in as a sister, a mother or an
aunt; someone who can keep them in check and manage their problems easily.
So, they attach themselves to women whom they perceive to be geniuses so as to gain
intellectually and mentally. Of course, they are not interested in sleeping
with her; the advice and mentorship they gain from her serve them a lot of purposes.
6. FOR MARRIAGE:
wife. They don’t really bother about long time dating before deciding to settle
down. Their priority is never sex; their goal is to look for a wife material and marry her without much delay.
Such men walk straight to you and
say “You are a good woman, I want to marry you” just like that and some women
actually accept the proposal.
7. FOR SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE:
women who are spiritually grounded; women who are close to God.
befriend these women maybe because they have gone astray and need spiritual
guidance or simply to remain in the spiritual race.
Don’t be surprised when you
see a man so close to a woman who sleeps in the church; he gains a lot from her
8. FOR CHILDREN:
women to bear children for them. They do this because their wives can’t bear
children for them.
So they feel the best method to getting children, by all
means, is to approach any lady they deem fertile to bear children for them.
course, they would have to sleep with the lady first to get a child although
some people go for other methods such as insemination.
I have not heard of
single men chasing women to bear children for them but I’ve heard of married
men who do that. There could be many other reasons why men chase women but these
are the few I could come up with (If you have any to add, please drop a comment
I believe all men are not the same. They all want different things from
women; there is no way all men in the world would have the same taste or goal
when it comes to women affairs.
are the same” mantra.
The same way some men are deceitful and cunning is
the same way some women are mean and evil but it doesn’t mean that all women
are bitches. There are still good men and women out there.
filtering the good guys from the bad guys.