Last night, I was talking to a close friend on the phone and in the course of our conversation, she brought up her ex’s wedding invitation.
She had received it three days ago with indifference but she seemed kind of worried on the phone.
Then she asked me a much-anticipated question “Jenny, do you think I should attend Chidi’s wedding?” At first, I wanted to say “Ha, am I the one to make that choice for you?”
But, instead, I replied, “Do you still love him?” I had to ask this question because I sensed she still had feelings for him and I needed to know how to advise her.
Chidi was her first love and now he is getting married to someone else. Their love was magical as I recall. Her reply confirmed that she had some prepping to do.
She said, “Not really. He was my first love so he’ll always have a special place in my heart but I’m so over him.”
After a brief moment of silence, I asked her, “Then, what are you really afraid of?”
Her answer sent me rolling on the floor with laughter although I knew it was a serious matter to her.
She said,” I’m afraid that when I set my eyes on him again, all the memories I tried so hard to flush away will flood my head.”
When I said nothing, she continued, “I’m also afraid that when I see him kissing his bride, I’ll go red with jealousy.
Finally, I’m scared that when the Reverend says ” If anyone here thinks that this couple should not be joined together in holy matrimony, please step forward, I might just jump out of my chair, screaming hysterically like a possessed witch ” Stop! Don’t wed them, He is my one true love.”
Before she could finish her witch drama, I was laughing uncontrollably. I had no idea she had analysed every bit of how weird or awful the wedding might be.
Even though, I laughed at the whole scenario, a part of me understood how she felt.
Have you been invited to an ex’s wedding? Are you contemplating whether to attend or not? Read these few tips to prepare yourself:
1. Evaluate your emotional status:
When did you and your ex break up? How long have you both been apart? 6 months, a year, two years or even more? How do you feel when you think about your ex?
Do you feel sad, angry, happy or indifferent? Some people feel they’ve moved on simply because they have relocated, cut off all contact with their ex and had rebound s*x with a total stranger.
But deep down, they still harbour warm feelings for their ex, wishing silently that they would come back.
2. Don’t expect too much:
It is normal to feel that because you had a long and intense relationship with your ex in the past, he would sweep you off your feet when he sees you.
Some ladies could even go as far as daydreaming that when the ex lays his eyes on her, some magical dust will fall off his eyes and he will abandon his bride-to-be at the altar to reunite with his true love.
Just snap out of it already!
You’re not in the movies and your ex isn’t Chris Pine or Channing Tatum. Don’t expect too much: just accept that your ex has found his missing rib. Be genuinely happy for him.
3. Endeavour to buy a gift for the couple:
I know how very tempting it is to go to an ex’s wedding with a frowning face and no gift at all. I’m sure you are thinking “Why should I even buy the jerk a gift with my hard earned money?”
Well, it’s not compulsory: it’s just courtesy. Remember, you are not going to start a war; you just want to join in the celebration of his union right?
Going to the wedding without a gift could send the wrong message to some people.
Be mature; walk majestically into a gift shop, buy a nice gift for him and his bride, wrap it neatly and don’t forget to carry it along on the day of the wedding.
I know some mischievous ladies will buy a vibrator as a wedding gift for their ex. If that’s your plan; don’t write your name on it, let them keep guessing **winks**
4. Be prepared to see his family and friends:
It is very likely that his family members and close friends will attend the wedding too. Don’t become nervous when you see them; just be calm and put on an expressionless face.
There is a probability that they would ignore you or even pretend not to recognise you.
On the other hand, be prepared to welcome any warm pleasantries extended towards you. Your ex might even introduce you to his bride-to-be just to flaunt her in your face.
5. Expect some awkward moments:
I’m not saying you should expect the worst scenarios but just be prepared for some eerily awkward moments that could likely occur.
These moments could include: missing your step because of the uninvited stares directed at you, an unanticipated stream of tears, a sudden feeling of loss, not being served food or wine etc.
6. Put on a head-turning attire:
It’s your ex’s wedding and you know the kind of people you would likely meet there. Dress hot but don’t look desperate.
Choose a dress that shows off some curves, a shoe that flaunts your flawless legs, jewellery and bag that show off your awesome personality.
If you don’t want to look like someone who is suffering from heartbreak, dress well but don’t look like a prostitute.
Phew!! Just be yourself, keep your head high and try not to be a drama queen. If you don’t want to attend, no one would strangle you.
Have you ever attended any of your ex’s wedding? How did it go? If you haven’t been to any, would you attend if invited?