What Would You Do if You Found Out Your Husband is Gay?

Beloved readers,
I received an email from a confused lady who happens to be in a dilemma and urgently needs our advice.
She wrote “Dear Jenny, I need some advice urgently. I met my husband in Church through my mother 6 months ago and we didn’t really date; we just went straight to courtship. He is handsome, rich and wealthy; every girl would pray to have him as a husband.
It’s been a month since we got married and he has barely touched me; the few times he did, I had to force myself on him. He behaves as if I disgust him; nothing I do turns him on. 

The other day, I came home and met a young man lying down on our matrimonial bed with only a towel around his waist but I didn’t want to jump into conclusions.

I patiently waited till he went out jogging one morning and I quickly searched his phone for the lady he was cheating with but to my greatest surprise, I saw pictures and messages from different young boys!!! 

That was when reality hit me; my husband is gay. I am devastated and confused at the same time. I love him but I can’t cope. Please, what do I do?”

What would you do if you find out your husband is gay?

6 thoughts on “What Would You Do if You Found Out Your Husband is Gay?

  1. "I met my husband in Church through my mother 6 months ago and we didn't really date; we just went straight to courtship."

    Well I don't mean to judge but that's the problem right there. What could she possible learn about him in just 6 months!? Some people take dating/marriage like a joke, she's going to spend the rest of her life with him/her, dating/courtship isn't the time to be blinded by love, or make rash desperate decisions. You need to take a critical look at your potential partner, assess your compatibility, read between the lines, weigh their quirks and decide whether or not you can live with them, etc. That's not to say he couldn't have hidden that aspect of his life from you for even a 2 year period, but it might have given him more opportunities to slip-up so you could find out.

    Now that she's married the situation has changed. Human beings are like clay, when we're young we can be molded, but as we age we harden and our personalities and behaviors lock in place and are notoriously difficult to change, if not impossible without say a strong will or divine intervention.

    The truth is he was this way, probably long before he met you, and he probably wouldn't be willing to change for you. You could stage an intervention with family, friends, even the Church etc to get him to change. I don't advocate divorce but the fact you were lured into marriage under false pretenses should at least carry some weight.

    1. Wow!!! You would make a great marriage counsellor!!! I loved every bit of your comment. I don't see divorce as an option here either. It is either she keeps forcing herself on him or seducing him till he somehow gets used to sleeping with her. Or she can go into "prayer and fasting mode" to help him come out of it.

      I believe prolonged dating and courtship are a must before making a marital commitment. It takes a lot to make a marriage work and we need to be ready for it. It is well with us and our future spouses!!!

    1. Oh dear! This is one of my shortest articles so far!!! I guess we've all become too lazy to read these days. I remember when I used to read really large novels from front to back but now, I can barely finish one small book. Just scan through the article and pick the main points *winks*. I just enjoy blabbing.

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