Earlier on, I wrote on 12 Signs You Are Dating a Sex Addict. If you’ve not had the chance to read that post, please do so before reading this one.
In my previous post, I listed various signs that a sex addict may portray. If you find out you or your partner is a sex addict, what should you do about it?
Should you go on like everything is okay when it is not? Should you look the other way when your spouse is heading for the rocks?
That’s why I decided to write the post targeted at sex addiction.
You may know that you are an addict but still refuse to admit it to yourself or anyone else. That’s fine. It’s perfectly okay but know that there are some dangers involved:
~ There is the risk of contracting STDs from infected sex partners.
~ There is a probability of losing your loved ones in a twinkle of an eye.
~ There is a chance you could lose your job, become unstable and depressed.
~ Your entire life may fall apart in tiny bits.
You may think you are not there yet and refuse to do something about your addiction. If you do nothing to curb your addiction, it will ruin you and your relationships. Take it or leave it but that’s the bitter truth.
If you really want to help yourself or your relationship, this is how you go about it:
#1 Admit You Are A Sex Addict:
Most sexually addicted people lie to themselves and their partner about their sexually addictive activities.
The lies starts when they start denying and saying things like, “I don’t have a pornography addiction. I’m just having harmless fun.”
I know this sounds easier said than done but you have to be realistic and admit that you have a problem. When you agree you have a problem, you won’t feel ashamed to seek help.
You just have to say to yourself ” I’m a sex addict. I indulge in unhealthy sexual habits that affect me and my relationship negatively.
Accept that you are a human who has made a few mistakes in the past and be willing to talk to someone about your situation.
#2 Be Willing To Help Yourself:
Willingness is usually the first step to getting rid of an addiction. When you admit that you an addict, it doesn’t end there. In fact, admitting is just the preparation for the journey.
The journey only starts when you are willing to seek help and be a better person. Be ready to undergo any recommended treatment that can help you and your relationship.
#3 Seek Help:
It may sound silly going to a shrink to but you have to. Therapists are professionals who have been trained to help people with various psychological and emotional issues.
If you really need help to get rid of your addiction, seek the help of a Sex therapist/Counselor.
Find a good one close to you, set up suitable appointment dates and follow through the treatment with seriousness and determination.
#4 Talk To Your Partner:
I know this is not as easy as it seems. Walking up to your partner and saying “Hey love, I’m a sex addict” doesn’t sound cool at all.
How is your partner going to take it? Will she stay and support you during therapy or will she leave you? It all depends on your partner; the choice is definitely hers to make but the truth is, you have to tell her.
She needs to know! Find a suitable time and tell her about it. It may be hard to bring forth the words but you have to try!
#5 Avoid Pornography and Unhealthy Sex Habits:
During your therapy, you have to refrain from pornography and unhealthy sex habits. You will have to try and abstain from masturbation and even sex.
This is why you needed to inform your partner in the first place! Your partner will have to give you all the support you need to scale through.
Stay away from the Internet. Don’t read anything or watch movies that might be sexually stimulating.
When you feel an addictive urge, go to the gym and do an exhausting workout. Or visit some friends.
Try to fill your mind with healthy and non-$exual things! Avoid porn at all costs!
#6 Remain Committed Until You Are Completely Healed:
It is not going to be easy to follow all the steps successfully. There are going to be hitches and setbacks on the way but you can’t give up. Even when you find yourself doing what you are not supposed to do, don’t quit.
Things usually get tougher when you are getting close to your goals so don’t give up until you have achieved your goals. Remain committed to your partner and therapy.
They say” Heaven help those who help themselves.” You have to be the one to help yourself by taking the first step in getting rid of your addiction.
No one will do that for you! If you don’t turn yourself in willingly, no one will drag you to a therapist. Your family can only offer you support when needed.
Is it going to be easy? Anyone who tells you that overcoming a porn addiction, compulsive masturbation, infidelity, or promiscuity is easy is not telling you the absolute truth.
Is it impossible to overcome? Absolutely not. Anyone who is willing to be honest about his or her addiction and is willing to put in effort can do it.
You will have to do it willingly on your own to save yourself and your relationship! I’m really hoping and believing that you will.
In fact, I trust that you will because your life and your family mean a lot to you. Let that love be your guiding light!