Are you thinking of marrying an older man? Well, you didn’t stumble on this post by mistake. Marrying an older man could be fun when you see it from the outside but when you get in, you would understand it is not a merry-go-round.
A friend of mine got married to an older man a few years ago. She seemed so happy at first; she posted a lot of pictures of her and her new hubby on social media. After about a year, she moved out of her husband’s house. She got a new job in another city and started her life afresh.
A few months ago, she announced she was getting married again and this time to a handsome young man. She looked really happy with him and I pray her marriage works out this time. When some of my friends heard about her upcoming wedding, they were surprised!
They wanted to ask her what happened to her first marriage but I guess they found it a bit offensive and decided to ask around instead. Of course, I didn’t know what happened but when I was asked I simply told them “I guess she wasn’t happy in the marriage”.
And now, she has found someone who she is happy with. I think that’s what really matters!! I’ve had other friends who trotted down the same path of marrying an older man under the pretense of love.
Some of them left their husbands the moment they became unhappy while others are still there either enjoying their marriages or dying in silence.
When I come across stories of young girls marrying older men, I silently ask if they would ever think of marrying that same man if he were dead broke. Honestly, I don’t think so!
There are many pros and cons of marrying an older man. I’m going to take out time to list them out for you.
THE PROS OF MARRYING AN OLDER MAN:
1. An older man is usually more mature and experienced
There is no doubt that a man in his 50’s or 60’s will be more mature and experienced than a 28-year-old man. Obviously, he has had different experiences that helped to bring him far in life and he has possibly learnt a lot from his mistakes.
An older man would normally be wiser and smarter than a younger man and he will apply his wisdom in every aspect of his life; financial, emotional, mental, social etc.
He would even be eager to teach you a lot of things you didn’t know or even dreamt of knowing. In other words, he would expose you to new knowledge about many things.
2. He is financially secure
Any hardworking and ambitious man in his 50’s is undoubtedly going to be stable financially and well established. He has worked so hard over the years to make sure his future is secure; even his retirement years look bright because he has made some worthwhile investments.
Being with an older man means you’re going to be financially secure; as far he likes you, he would make sure you have everything you need and want. Money, of course, can never really be an issue when you’re with an older man. All your needs will be met even without you lifting a finger.
3. He is emotionally stable
An older man would be more emotionally stable than a young man. This is due to the fact that he has had his own share of dating, he has seen the world, he has made a lot of mistakes and he knows exactly what he wants now.
Marrying an older man means you would be emotionally safe; at least you won’t be confronted with emotional outbursts or drama at any point. All he wants is to flaunt you “his beautiful treasure”.
As far as you’re around him and his friends still look at you with admiration in their eyes or saliva drooling down their jaws, he would cherish and adore you. You don’t even have to worry about him cheating on you because he feels lucky to have you and he would remain faithful and loyal to you.
4. He will treat you like a Queen
An older man would feel eternally lucky to have a young and beautiful wife by his side. He would do his best to make sure you don’t lack anything financially because he cares about you.
He would go to great heights to provide for you; even if you want the moon, he would fetch it for you. He would either attend to your needs personally or he would employ people who can be at your beck and call.
When you want your hair or nails done, cash and a driver would be available to you, when you’re in the mood for a shopping spree, his Debit card or checkbook will be at your feet. All you need to do is wave your magical wand and everything will be served on a platter of gold for you.
5. He will be the decision maker
When you’re married to an older man, you will have less decision making to do. Because of his experience and expertise, he would always have an idea or two about everything. He already knows the quality shops to buy from, the best tailors to patronise, the superb boutiques to visit, fascinating restaurants all over the country and lots more.
Your life will be well organised and planned even while you’re asleep. You won’t have to stress yourself over major decision making.
THE CONS OF MARRYING AN OLDER MAN:
1. He would be domineering
An older man would always see a younger girl as someone who is sometimes immature and indecisive. He would always want to enforce his opinions or views on you simply because he has more experience than you.
You may not see it as a big issue but when it becomes a normal routine for him to always guide you; you would feel suffocated and helpless. Any mistake you make would be associated with your being childish or naive and this could be downright annoying because sometimes you just want to make your own mistakes and learn from them.
2. He may not have the time and energy for you
With age comes fatigue and an unending need to rest. An older man would definitely prefer staying indoors to relax than going out with you. Even if you do go out, you will see yourself back at the house by 8 pm when the party is getting ready to kick off.
Of course, this is not the issue with every older man; I’ve seen older men who are more energetic than some young men. But, the truth is, he may not really have the time and energy for you because he is tied up in one business venture or the other or he isn’t just the fun type.
3. You would become his nurse
There is no doubt that you would definitely end up as an older man’s nurse when you marry him. A man in his 50’s or 60’s would probably be fighting with one critical illness or the other. If it’s not diabetes or high blood pressure, then it will be prostate cancer.
You, of course, would have to put your life on hold to care for him as his wife and you would constantly be worried about his health. There is also the probability of both of you eating separately because he has to change his diet to suit his health needs.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t be your husband’s nurse; all I’m saying is “be aware and prepared” when you choose to marry an older man.
4. Your sex life will be dead or near dead
Sex is usually a vital part of a marriage because it helps to bond two people together. When you marry an older man who is either too fatigued or too sick to even look at you, just be sure that you would be very unhappy for a long time.
Sex could become a chore if you’re lucky or an inactive component if you’re unlucky. Let’s not even dive into the possibility of marrying a sterile or impotent older man.
5. You could become a step mum
A man in his 50’s or 60’s would probably be divorced or widowed; this means he may have children from his previous marriage. You would have to take up the duty of being a mother to another woman’s children. Not everyone likes this aspect of a marriage so make sure you’re okay with it before you even think of accepting the marriage proposal.
6. He may never really get you
Being in a relationship or marriage could be an exciting process but really connecting with your spouse is totally gratifying. An older man may never really get you; your jokes and stories could sound to him like they are from another generation or even another planet.
He may never really understand why you behave the way you do; everything he doesn’t approve of would be termed “childish”. You may find yourself stuck with someone who behaves like your grandfather.
You need to do a lot of thinking and analyzing before marrying an older man. Make sure you weigh the pros and cons of marrying an older man before you jump in.
Marriage isn’t a playground for kids; you need love to make it work. Don’t marry someone solely for financial gain; you never know where the wealth came from and how long it will last.
Marry someone you can start a solid foundation, build empires and grow old with. There is nothing more fulfilling than being independent and financially stable before going into a marriage.
Choose your life partner wisely because your happiness depends on it.