They’ve been pestering her for some time to bring a suitor to them. Every time she visits, their conversations always tilt towards marriage and a suitable life partner.
They won’t talk about any other thing except her love life and when they would meet Mr Right. She got so tired of it that she went on to Facebook to air out her frustrations. When I read her FB status, it reminded me of my own predicament and that of other singles that are fortunate to have Africans as their parents.
Today, I want to share my own marriage story and also give you reasons why African parents adore marriage and why they want you to get married. Here is my own story…
The service was so empowering that we were all filled with joy. We were very happy to be alive to see both the end of the old year and beginning of the New Year.
It has become a sort of ritual for him to pray for us concerning marriage at the beginning of the year. He seems to be quite obsessed with the idea of marriage.
When I called him to wish him a wonderful year ahead, the first thing he said was ‘‘when are you going to introduce a man to us’’? I simply with replied with a vibrant ‘very soon’.
But that’s not the only reason why they want you to get married. Your African parents want you to get married because:
#1 They Don’t Want You To Be Alone
They don’t mean to be a nuisance to you; they only want you to have someone by your side. Someone you can lean on when they are no longer around. They don’t want you to go through the journey of life alone.
They know that life is hard and you need someone to help you carry some burdens even though you don’t admit it. Companionship is really why they want you married.
#2 They Want Grand Children
The parents are then left alone in their home and it begins to get really quiet and lonely. They miss having a full house, they miss hearing the cry of babies and sounds of children playing around the house.
You are the only one who can fulfil their hunger for children so they pester you to get married on time and start bearing cute babies that will disturb them the way you did when you were a child.
#3 They Believe Marriage Encourages Responsibility
You are not responsible for anyone so you go out anytime you want and return anytime you like. You don’t have anyone to feed, bathe or help with homework; you are a free bird.
You will begin to think of other people instead of just yourself; you will have a spouse to give account to of your whereabouts, you will think more of the family and how the kids are faring when you are not around.
The long nights outside will begin to gradually fade away. At that time, you would have become a very responsible person.
#4 They Think Marriage Curbs Fornication & Promiscuity
Since, it’s not our culture to introduce boyfriends or girlfriends to parents; you keep your relationship low-key hoping they never find out till the engagement is announced.
They would be so happy to see you safely married because then, they won’t have to worry about fornication, promiscuity, unwanted pregnancies and abortions. When you get married, you can have all the sex you want with your spouse.
#5 They Believe Marriage Helps Lessen Some Financial Burdens
But, when you are a couple, the financial burdens lessen because you support each other in every way you can. The bills become shared, debts are paid, and you work with a budget, save money, assist the family and plan for retirement together. In a great way, marriage helps lessen some financial burdens.
#6 They See Marriage As A Must Do Affair
They constantly pray that you will find the right man/woman for you who you will bear children and grow old with. They consciously expect it to happen some day and that is why they keep reminding you just in case you are not harbouring the same thoughts with them.
If you seem nonchalant about marriage, your parents will try hard to make you see its relevance. No wonder some African parents go to extent of matchmaking or picking out partners for their children.
For them, it must happen whether you like it or not. In fact, it would be over their dead body that it won’t happen. It is a do or die affair!
#7 Your Marriage Will Make Them Happy, Proud And Fulfilled
They will be proud that their daughter/son is getting married without any scandal that will bring shame to the family. They will feel content that they have been able to nurture you from when you were a child till you became an adult.
Your parent will feel fulfilled because their dreams of becoming grandparents will come to pass. In fact, one cannot measure the amount of joy, pride and fulfilment that parents feel when their children get married. It’s a dream come true for them!
So, if you’ve been wondering why your African parents won’t allow you have a good night’s sleep because they never cease to mention the words ‘life partner’ and ‘marriage’ to you, now you know why.
Dont be mad at your parents. They only want the best for you. It is every African parent’s desire that their child graduates from school, finds a good job, gets married and bears children.
Only then will they feel fulfilled as parents. That’s why during the wedding they run around to make sure everything goes perfectly well.
Do you know any other reason why African parents are obsessed with marriage?