If you ask me, “What do couples fight about most?” My answer would be absolutely nothing. From experience, I’ve noticed that a lot of couples fight about unnecessary issues that can be easily avoided by the both of parties.
some couples just enjoy the tension that comes with a fight and so, they fight
about practically everything including the remote control and microwave.
woman is watching TV; her husband strolls out of the bedroom, grasps the remote
and begins scrolling through the channels listing.
doing that”, the woman says.
let me just check the Chelsea match going on…”
Leave it. I hate it when you do this”
the husbands snaps.
did you say that?” the woman asks.
you’re always going to have your way, so fine, have it your way.” the husband
replies angrily and walks out of the living room.
night, they both go to bed mad at each other. When they wake up the next
morning, they are still pissed at each other but nobody talks about it. And so,
the little misunderstanding turns into malice which goes on until one day, it
manages to go away.
at the story, what would you say was the cause of their fight? Nothing right?
Exactly! It is so unfortunate that most couples have these little fights
repeatedly which result into disconnection.
matter how dedicated a couple is to living happily ever after in peace, fights
over the remote and T.V will always occur. The fact is real life will never be
like the pages of a fairy tale. It is important to calm down tension by turning
toward each other during moments when it would be easier to turn away.
each other after a squabble will cause “attachment injuries” which can be
really damaging to a relationship. These attachment injuries leave one partner
feeling vulnerable and unsafe thereby destroying the emotional bond that a
really want to strengthen your relationship, you need to remember certain rules
for staying connected to your spouse especially when it gets tough.
1. Pay Attention:
the insignificant ones.
When your partner points out something to you, pay
attention; don’t dismiss it with a wave while you’re busy on your tablet. Take the
time to notice and appreciate the little things your partner does for you. Give
your relationship the right attention it needs!
2. Talk and Listen:
needs to your spouse and also listen to him or her. Listen carefully;
understand what is being said before responding or proffering solutions to problems.
Most times, what your partner wants is just a listening ear!
3. Respond to Simple Requests:
because they seem derogatory. Even when they are humbly asked to help with one
or two tasks, they frown and blatantly refuse to do it. If you want to stay connected to your spouse,
you need to learn to respond to simple requests like “Honey, while you’re up, could
you help me get a bottle of water from the fridge?”
4. Help Each Other Solve Problems:
Don’t leave problems to be handled by one person simply
because it isn’t your business. As a matter of fact, it became your business
from the day you entered into a committed relationship with your partner. When your
partner is faced with some challenges, make it your business to help him/her
solve it as soon as possible.
5. Work as a Team:
A lot of couples can be tagged as “independent couples”
because of how they correlate with each other. They never work as a team instead,
they work alone on any tasks they are faced with.
To remain connected to your
spouse, you need to learn to involve him or her in your affairs. Learn to work on tasks together as a team; one partner can
take out the garbage while the other washes the dishes or boils a pot of
Don’t say “I’m a man, I don’t enter the kitchen.” Divide the house
chores, save energy and create more time to spend with each other.
6. Help Manage Stress:
Some couples look at each other helplessly when one person
is undergoing stress. This is wrong! Let your partner’s stress become your own stress;
help him manage it by giving him a massage or foot rub after a stressful day at
work. Motivate him when he feels depressed and help lift up his spirit when he
7. Have Sex Regularly:
Real connection comes through sexual bond. Make time out of your busy schedules to make love to your partner at least twice a week. It keeps you connected to each other. Don’t neglect your partner’s needs because of how preoccupied you are; create time for intimate moments.
toward your partner during seemingly insignificant moments can help strengthen
your relationship in unexpected ways. When you notice a disconnection with your
spouse, apply these rules above. They will go a long way in improving your