Some women find it easier talking to their partner about every single problem while others prefer talking to their girlfriends.
If you fall among the group of women who strive to maintain a close relationship with their spouse through communication, you may be seen as being “too independent” or “private” by people around you.
It would be very tempting to turn to a friend or a sister and vent out our frustrations when we think our man is listening. I mean someone else should hear your own point of view and help solve the conflict right?
Psychologist Linda Carter says, “Feeling the need to tell tales outside our relationship may be a sign that we are not being heard within it”. But what if you don’t like sharing your private life with others?
What if you like being in a safe world with your partner where you settle conflicts amicably? Is this wrong? Should you confide more in your friends or are you just too close to your partner?
Here are 8 visible signs you and your partner are too close:
8 VISIBLE SIGNS YOU AND YOUR PARTNER ARE TOO CLOSE
# 1 Your Vocabulary Has Changed:
Even when you talk to your partner, you forget to use “I”, the only word you remember is “we”. The word “I” has completely vanished from your vocabulary; the word you use now is “we, we, we.”
For example; when you talk to your partner you say, “Honey, we need to cook rice and chicken today” instead of I need to cook… or “Baby, we need to shop for groceries soon” instead of I need to shop…
#2 He Calls You at least Twice a Day:
If you are too close to your partner, you won’t be able to stay apart from him for too long because you’re so used to being around him.
Even if you both live in the same house and see each other every day, you miss him when he is away. Your man, on the other hand, misses you terribly too and he would call several times a day just to hear your voice.
Whenever your phone rings at work, your colleagues roll their eyes because they already know who is calling you. If he doesn’t call you in a day, you feel so restless that you call him just to find out if he’s okay.
#3 You Have Trouble Choosing Between Him and Others:
You’re so attached that you can’t live without each other. Your life involves your partner completely; you shop together, watch movies together and even cook together.
Both of you are so attached at the hip like twins that people have started making jest of you by attaching the first syllable of his name to the last syllable of yours. When you have any challenge, he is the first person you call because you trust him completely; you look up to him for love, support and advice.
#5 He’s Possessive of You:
To some people, being in a relationship means they own you. They want you to give them all your attention. You are too close to your partner if he wants you all to himself. This means he has become possessive of you. He doesn’t want to share you with the rest of the world.
You may even have little irrelevant arguments because he’s jealous of your pet or anything you spend too much time on. His favorite vacation is being locked up inside the room with you. As far as he has you to himself, he’s very content.
#6 You Don’t Talk Much About Your Partner Anymore:
Your life is so private that you don’t mention your partner anymore in your conversations. Your friends no longer hear much about him or what he’s been up to lately.
You’ve passed that initial romantic stage where all you giggled and talked about your love escapades with him to your friends. You’re currently at the stability stage where you know you are ready to go the long haul with him.
Now, when someone asks how things are between you and him, all you say is “fine” then you change the subject. He is no longer a topic for discussion; you hold him with caution and respect.
#7 You No Longer Do Things Solo:
He’s not only your best friend but also your funniest friend, your smartest friend, your most annoying friend and your only friend. He’s always there for you; in joy, sorrow, pain, laughter, success, or failure. He’s there like your shadow. In fact, he is your everything.
These are the obvious signs you and your partner are too close. I know you were expecting me to condemn closeness in a relationship but I didn’t; in fact, I ended up encouraging it. It is so vital to make extra efforts to get closer to your spouse.
So should you avoid talking to your friends? Not at all! It is fine to talk to your friends―how could you not? Just know when to draw a line between sharing and oversharing don’t overstep your boundaries.
So many women don’t know when to draw the line. They rely too much on their girlfriends that they vent everything to them. Don’t do that! Don’t shift the intimacy from your relationship with your spouse to your girlfriends.
Your spouse should be your best friend, your confidante, your refuge and your rock of support. Have time for your family and friends but don’t be quick to divulge your relationship problems to them.
If you’re having problems in your healthy relationship, resist the urge to run to friends for a relationship conference. First, attempt to solve the problem with your spouse because broadcasting your private conflicts, emotions and decisions undermines trust and closeness that keeps a strong relationship together.
When you take a relationship out from behind closed doors, it leaves it vulnerable and porous to negativity. When your spouse imagines that someone else might be privy of the information he shares with you, he may feel reluctant to express himself freely in subsequent discussions. In fact, he may lose trust in you and stop discussing vital topics with you.
If you’re too close to your partner, it is a really good thing. Cherish the closeness and don’t let anyone else in. Protect your couple bubble tightly where you and your partner can retreat to your personal version of paradise that gives you immense comfort and peace. Your relationship would end up being warm, intimate, enduring and lasting.
Are you closer to your partner or your friends?