Should I Date My Friend’s Ex?

I received a question from one of my readers and I decided to post it here and also ask for your opinions. Here it goes:

Two years ago, my friend and her husband had a nasty divorce due to irreconcilable issues. At the time of their divorce, she confided in me a lot—she told me they didn’t love each other anymore and that’s why they fell apart. I felt there was something more she wasn’t saying but I didn’t press further; I just pretended to believe her.

A few months ago, I ran into her ex-husband, Tim at a party and we danced together. He’s a really good dancer—we had so much fun. After the party, I realized we had a connection but I dismissed it as a misinterpretation of feelings.

We’ve bumped into each other several times since after the party and I sense he’s attracted to me. Fortunately, the last time we bumped into each other, he asked for my phone number which I gave to him with excitement.

The next day, he asked me out to dinner! I think it’s a date! I know I should be very excited but now I’m just skeptical. Tim seems like a really nice guy and he’s so sexy!—I would like to go out with him and see where it leads but I don’t want to hurt my friend Lucy.

What should I do? Should I date my friend’s ex? 

The floor is open for comments, opinions and suggestions. So, what do you think? Is it okay for her to date Tim?

6 thoughts on “Should I Date My Friend’s Ex?

  1. Honestly, it is a confusing situation because you don't want to hurt your friend but at the same time you want to take a chance at happiness. If I were in your position, I think I'll just follow my heart; it never lies!

  2. Hell No! Don't even go there girl! I've been there before and it was just nasty! My friend tried to get together with my ex and it felt like a betrayal- a stab in the back. For all I care, my friends are supposed to be her friends and my foes, her foes. My exes are out-of-bound for my friends, colleagues or family members. If you value your friendship with your friend, don't do it! There are plenty other fishes in the pond. Keep looking for your own Mr. Right!

    1. About the "stab in the back", Ouch! It sounds really heart-breaking. I can totally understand your point of view. Some people adorn their relationships with certain rules and one of them could be "Never Date Any Of My Exes". I think it sounds kinda possessive though. Just saying…

  3. Your friend should understand that love comes in different packages. If I were her, I'll give you my consent, step aside and wish you all the best. Because it didn't work between her and Tim doesn't mean it won't work for both for you. Give it a trial. If if works, great and if it doesn't work, cool.

  4. It’s been two years after their divorce! I don’t think Lucy has a claim on Tim anymore. She’s no longer his wife!

    But, if Lucy finds out about the both of you through someone else, she will be mad! I bet you that she would feel betrayed and your relationship will be over in a jiffy.

    So, tell Lucy that you’re interested in dating Tim—admit the situation looks a little sticky but don’t ask for her permission to date him.

    Just tell her about Tim and then reassure her that your interest in Tim is completely separate from your friendship with her.

    A good man is hard to find these days and even if Tim wasn’t Lucy’s perfect match, he might just turn out to be your perfect guy! Who knows?

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