A lot of things happen to our relationships every day; some are beautiful, others are just terrible. In so many ways, our relationships are tested and even threatened by so many unforeseen forces on a daily basis.
These forces could be mostly damaging habits that we developed or picked up along the way. I call them “relationship damaging habits” because they destroy our relationships unknowingly.
Most people don’t know they have them until it destroys their relationship. It is quite possible that some relationships were torn apart last year by these damaging habits while others survived the tornadoes.
If your relationship survived all the thunderstorms that were thrown at it last year, I want to say a big “Bravo” to you and your partner. You’ve done so well. You’ve worked really hard to maintain the sanity in your relationship.
I know how stressful and demanding it is to keep up with someone who clearly has many flaws and makes awful mistakes. Maybe you are even the cause of the strain in your relationship or maybe it is your spouse. Both of you may have made grievous mistakes that hurt your relationship deeply.
Maybe you practiced bad habits that were detrimental to your relationship. Plus, a lot of things don’t usually go as planned. Well, this isn’t the time to start pointing fingers or pushing blames; it’s a time to reflect and make resolutions that will improve your relationship this year.
Take a minute; close your eyes and take a deep breath then slowly exhale. How do you feel? Awesome, I guess!
As you move into another wonderful year, you need to:
~ Get rid of all the baggage you’re carrying.
~ Drop all the bad habits you picked along the way.
~ Reflect on your mistakes and be ready to work on them.
~ Learn from the hard lessons you received last year.
~ Bury the hatchets and let go of the pain.
~ Get rid of the skeletons in your life.
~ Reconcile with people who are willing to reconcile with you.
~ Sweep out all the cobwebs hanging around you.
~ Start a new chapter on a fresh page.
Are you ready to move your relationship to a higher level this year?
If Yes, then you need to ditch these relationship damaging habits…
14 Relationship Damaging Habits You Need to Ditch
In most relationships, cheating is often the number one damaging factor. When a spouse cheats on his spouse, trust is often replaced by pain, fear and sometimes indifference.
Gradually, the relationship grows apart to an irreversible state where the couple no longer trust each other or even love each other. Silence, then becomes the new code of conversations; no one is ready to talk or even listen to the other person.
If you want your relationship to become stronger and healthier, you need to avoid cheating on your spouse. If you’re no longer attracted to your partner, talk to her and try to work things out or better still, end the relationship and move on with someone you can be faithful to. Don’t give yourself good reasons to cheat! It is insulting!!!
Lying is another relationship damaging habit that you need to leave behind. Learn to tell the truth no matter how terrible it sounds. Your spouse would feel less hurt if you tell her about it than when she hears about it elsewhere.
One little white lie leads to another little lie then another until they form a big ditch of lies that drown you until you can’t come out of it. Learn to be honest with everyone especially your loved ones. Even if it takes some time, tell the truth when necessary. Leave all the lies behind!!!
Many people feel when they refuse to forgive someone they are actually punishing him. The truth is, as long as you refuse to forgive someone who offends you, you won’t have the peace and joy you really deserve. You must first forgive in other to attain a peace of mind and abundant growth.
How many times has your partner wronged you? Many times! How many times did you really forgive him? A few times probably! Did your unforgiveness ever improve your relationship in any way? Why don’t you let it go?
Anytime, your partner offends you, talk about it, forgive and let it go. You would realize how much better your relationship would become if only you learned how to forgive more.
As you step into this wonderful year, please set your insecurities aside. Love yourself just the way you are. Stop comparing yourself with other people. You are beautiful and you were wonderfully made. You were born for a unique purpose.
Whether you are black, white, fat, skinny, short or tall, accept yourself first. It isn’t enough to say you love someone when you don’t first love yourself. When you constantly feel uncertain, unsafe and apprehensive of loss, how do you really expect someone to stay with you this year and beyond?
5. Excessive Jealousy:
Jealousy is another relationship damaging habit; get rid of it. It slowly eats up your relationship and you don’t really notice until it destroys your relationship. It is okay to occasionally feel jealous when someone flirts with your spouse but you shouldn’t let it get to you. Just brush it all aside.
Don’t be consumed by the inferno of jealousy. If you feel jealous for any reason at all, talk to your partner about it or try to overcome it on your own.
6. Lack of Communication:
This is another relationship killer that tops the list. Communication is vital to every relationship; it is like a backbone that supports it. Lack of communication breeds a lot of nuances that are not healthy for any relationship.
Learn to open up to your partner, express your feelings and always listen before giving solutions. Don’t remain silent when you have issues bothering you. Speak up! If you are looking for something to help you communicate better, try this awesome Conversation Starters Kit. It will help you open the doors to communicating effectively with your partner.
How do you treat issues when your partner offends you? Do you give him the silent treatment? Do you keep grudges for a long time without trying to to talk about it? Or do you try your best to settle things amicably?
If you usually settle things easily with your spouse, keep it up. If you usually bear grudges without attempting to talk things out, you need to ditch that horrible habit. Don’t bring it into your relationship this year!
Are you a stubborn woman who refuses to listen to her husband? Or are you a stubborn man who rejects the good advice his wife offers to him regularly?
You need to learn to compromise this year. Be obedient and give in to what your spouse wants sometimes. Agree to meet halfway; everything must not go your way all the time.
I know you’re the head but how can the head function properly without the neck? Share ideas, share information, listen to each other and be willing to work together. Let your partner be your teammate and not your opponent.
Many people undermine the destructive nature of selfishness. For some relationships, selfishness is what breaks it beyond repair. Some people love to give and also receive.
But, when they give something to their spouse and they never receive anything in return, they become depressed. When they freely offer services but they are not reciprocated, they become sad. Learn to give and not only to receive this year.
Some women feel too proud to submit to their husbands. They practically refuse to cook, clean, wash or even take care of their children. They are too proud to serve anyone because they feel they are superior to everyone.
There are men who also refuse to help their wives around the house because they are too proud. They feel they will lose their respect or reputation if they do certain things for their wives.
We are in a different age now; don’t let those inhibitions stop you. Be humble, support and help one another.
11. Lack of Gratitude:
As hilarious as this sounds, lack of gratitude is yet another relationship damaging habit. Most people don’t know this; when you don’t appreciate someone for the little things he has done, he won’t be motivated to do bigger things for you. It’s the simple truth.
Learn to be appreciative to your partner and everyone around you; it will help your relationships in a remarkable way.
12. Gossip & Back-biting:
I can relate to this particularly because I’ve experienced it so many times. I’ve also indulged in it and I can say that it destroyed my relationship in many ways. If you have a problem with anyone, meet him one on one and settle it peacefully.
If someone offends you, approach him and discuss the matter instead of attempting to kill his reputation behind his back. No back-biting or gossip is allowed this year. Leave it behind!!!
A lot of us assume a lot; this is what destroys us and our relationships. Stop creating scenarios when nothing is going on and stop reading signs in everything your spouse does.
Stop writing scripts in your head especially when your partner is involved. You’re allowed to assume but after assuming, discuss your doubts with your partner.
If you feel skeptical or confused about something, discuss it with your partner. Talk to your spouse as soon as issues come up to avoid unnecessary accumulation of issues.
14. Lack of Trust:
When you over-assume and you don’t communicate well with your spouse, your relationship is bound to be strained. When trust is lost, it is usually difficult to regain it. Lack of trust develops in your relationships when you feel insecure, overly jealous and you don’t communicate properly. Be confident and be sure of your partner this year.
All these relationship damaging habits need to be left behind if you want to have a peaceful and successful relationship this year.
What other relationship damaging habits do you think couples should get rid of?