Is your man ignoring you for no reason? I think he is sulking and for good reason. The word “sulking” is often associated with children and women. Men are never seen as sulkers. They appear as strong, macho and mature persons.
They have the flawless ability to conceal their emotions even when in pain. Women and children, on the other hand, are often seen as expressive creatures; they easily find avenues to express their grievances. They don’t see anything wrong with sulking, crying or wailing at the slightest provocation even in public.
Sometimes, it may seem as if women enjoy shedding tears; maybe it makes them feel more feminine or maybe it makes their pupils whiter *smiles* (I’m just kidding).
But the whole point is that women, especially in Africa, are often portrayed as emotional beings while the men are seen as unemotional beings. It is perfectly normal to see a woman cry but when one sees a man shedding tears; it sends a message across that this man was so hurt that he had to show it openly.
Even in awful situations, crying is usually the last resort for a man; he would prefer to grieve silently just to show how strong or mature he is. Seeing a mature man cry could be one of rarest sights but being around a sulking man could be devastating; you don’t just know what to do with him.
Would it be easier to just leave him alone in his solitude or would it be wise to try to talk him out of his moodiness? Well, before you attempt to answer that, let’s define the word “sulking”.
WHAT EXACTLY DOES SULKING MEAN?
According to the Cambridge Online dictionaries, “sulking” means to be silent and refuse to smile or be pleasant to people because you are angry about something that they have done. It simply means being displeased by something and letting your gloomy mood show. You become grumpy, aloof, silent and unsociable because of what someone has done or hasn’t done.
And, you practically ignore everyone around you as if they don’t even exist. You even reply greetings with grumpy one-word answers. Did you think only women were sulky or moody?
I also used to think that only women and children sulked but recently I’ve come across mature men who sulk too. My boyfriend also sulks occasionally when I offend him.
7 OBVIOUS REASONS WHY MEN SULK
Are you wondering why your man has suddenly turned silent and distant? Do you think it is you or maybe stress from work that has gotten him so moody? Here are some of the reasons why men sulk;
1. When a woman refuses to go out with him:
A man could sulk because you turned down his offer to go out with him either on a date or a casual outing. Men don’t like being turned down especially by women; it sort of hurts their ego.
2. A man sulks when he feels rejected and unwanted:
A man could sulk because you rejected his proposal; whether it’s marriage or any other kind of proposal. Men don’t take rejection lightly.
3. Men sulk when you refuse them sex:
A man might sulk if you refuse him from having sex with you. You know how guys could be; they would be all smiles while chasing you and spending their money. But the minute you say “I’m not going to sleep with you’’ and you actually carry out the threat, their attitude would automatically change towards you.
You, on the other hand, would be saying “Is it just because of sex you’re frowning your face like that?” He is not finding it funny at all! When a man’s sexual advances are not happily received, he feels really hurt.
4. A man sulks when his woman nags at him
Some men sulk when a lady nags or screams at them over an issue; no matter how little. They often want to be the superior one in a relationship and when a lady crosses “the respect boundary” and scolds them, they could become moody and start sulking like children.
5. A man sulks when he is heartbroken:
A man could sulk when he experiences heartbreak. When a man loves, he puts his heart and soul into the relationship and when his love becomes crushed, his soul also gets crushed.
6. Men sulk when they are under pressure:
Men sometimes sulk when they are undergoing pressure from work or their family. Sometimes, when the pressure gets too much for them to bear and they don’t know what to do about it, they simply sulk. Sulking could be an escape route for some men.
7. A man sulks when he is financially unstable:
Some men sulk when they are financially insecure or unemployed. A man feels in charge when his finances are intact; he feels very secure when he can financially provide for his loved ones. But, a man will feel helpless when he is unemployed or financially unstable and this could lead to him sulking.
There you have it! These are some of the reasons why men sulk. So, next time you see your man all moody and grumpy, don’t get all defensive and don’t let him be either. He may claim he needs some time and space to clear his head but what he actually needs is YOU. He misses you and wants to talk to you but he doesn’t want to make the first move. And, when he can’t have you all to himself, he goes into “sulking mood”.
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A SULKING MAN?
The first thing you should not do when your man is sulking is leave him alone. Don’t even think about it! Leaving him alone could worsen his moodiness. He needs you most now! The best thing to do is to approach him gently. If you know his love language, use it.
His love language could be spending quality time with you, receiving gifts or compliments or even physical touch. Whatever it is you know could help him brighten up, just do it. It is not only women who need tender loving care; guys crave it too.
Before you even try to engage him in a conversation, first prepare a warm bath to help him relax. Next, you can cook his favorite meal for him. Don’t try to talk to him that night; let him sleep over it.
Immediately, he wakes up from sleep, ask him what is making him moody. Don’t go barging in like you’re ready for a fight; force isn’t the best remedy in this situation. Just try and be the mother and wife/girlfriend you are to him!
Be gentle, feminine and caring at the same time. Listen to him and help him come out of his hiding place. If you don’t have the patience for all of this, please try to borrow some! You will surely need it.
So if you’ve ever asked yourself…
- Why doesn’t he just tell me what he’s thinking?
- Why is he ignoring me?
- What do I do to make him talk to me?
You’re not alone!
First of all, it’s not your fault if you don’t understand men. You’re certainly not alone if you feel frustrated and confused about how men think and why they do the things they do.
No one is born already knowing how to create successful relationships. And, even though our schools and colleges should probably have classes on the subject, there aren’t many ways to learn about relationships except by painful trial and error.
If you want to understand your man more than any other woman, I have some Amazing Techniques that can help you. You are about to find out exactly how to know what a man is thinking and how to easily get him to talk to you.
Do you know any other reason why men sulk? Has your man ever sulked?