Are you prepared for a successful marriage? A lot of people prepare themselves for other important things like their career, education, examination or a journey to a far place but they rarely prepare for a successful marriage.
When it comes to marriage, people say “Oh well, when we get to the bridge, we’ll cross it.” Now, what if there is no bridge? What if you didn’t bring a boat to cross the deep river in front of you? What would you do? Stand and watch for as long you can, jump into the river or find another way around it?
These are some of the challenges that couples face almost every day and those who aren’t fully prepared either remain stuck at the bank of the river or they jump into it with utter hopelessness and drown.
If they knew that they would meet a river on their journey, I’m sure they would have brought a boat or some life jackets to help them cross it. But they didn’t know.
This is what happens to most marriages on a daily basis. Most couples are not prepared before they tie the knot and that is why the rate of divorce is going higher every year. If you don’t want to feel stuck in your marriage, you have to prepare for a successful marriage. How can you do that?
How to Prepare for a Successful Marriage
#1 Know who you really are
It is amazing that some people don’t know who they are. They may know what they like and dislike but apart from that, they have no clue what they really want in life. They don’t even know what makes them happy. When a man comes along, they expect him to have all the answers to their many questions and know how to make them happy.
That’s so wrong! Before you go into a marriage, sit down and analyse yourself. Who are you? What are you really passionate about? What do you want to do in life? What are your short-term goals? What are your long-term goals? If you had 100 million dollars in your bank account, what would you really be doing with your time?
True happiness resides within you and not those around you. You are the only one who knows how to create your own little world of happiness. Be mindful not to set an impossible criteria for happiness; it’s easier to be happy if you can find happiness in small doses. Know who you really are…
#2 Know God and hold him close
Not everyone believes in God or the universe and I respect that. But, for those of you who know God, get closer to him. It doesn’t stop at going to church every Sunday. Create a serious relationship with God. Have a deep desire to know him; study his word, love him and serve him.
Ask God to reveal himself to you and always watch out for the signs of his presence. He is everywhere. When you love God, he will always be there to help you with any problem you’re struggling with. He said we should carry our heavy burden to him and he will give us rest.
He is a loving Father who knows our deepest desires. Even before you ask, he knows what you want. Tell him what you want and ask him to help you achieve it. Believe it and he will! He doesn’t fail his children.
#3 Have a means of livelihood
Some ladies jump into marriage empty handed and that’s just pathetic. They enter a marriage without a job, a business or even some savings. What do you think marriage is? A jackpot? No, marriage is a partnership and you have to bring something to the table too.
Your future spouse cannot carry all the financial burdens alone except if he is a billionaire. But, you need to have something of your own. It creates a sense of independence to earn a living no matter how small. Get a job or start a business.
#4 Take charge of your life
Some ladies are just disorganized and messed up that it shows all over their faces. They have no idea what life is all about and they allow depression to eat them all up. Please, put your life in order. No sane man wants to deal with your mess; pull yourself together.
You’re not the only one going through rough phases in life. Find a way to solve your problems without dragging everyone into it. Throw away all that emotional baggage you’re carrying; don’t pour it on someone else.
Take charge of your life and get organized. Find something meaningful to do and be committed to it. Stop drinking excessively, quit smoking and quit drugs. Have a healthy lifestyle and keep your life organized.
#5 Be financially responsible
Having a job isn’t quite enough if you’re barely managing each month. Are you living pay check to pay check? That has to stop! How long will you continue in this way before you go bankrupt with a truck load of debts? Make a decision right now to be financially responsible.
Get a notepad and calculate how much money you need for food, bills and transportation each month. If the amount is too large, reduce it to a reasonable amount where you can be a bit comfortable. When you’re done, be prepared to stick to that budget and that mean no impulsive spending or sudden outings.
No unnecessary shopping sprees with the girls either. Try to save anything that remains after your budget and open a separate account for it. Get a financial planner and be in control of your finances. It will help you manage money better when you get married.
#6 Have a solid plan
What happens after you get married? You’ve never thought about that have you? You need to have a practical plan for married life. Will you still be working at your current job? What if you have to move another city? How will you spend your days when you get married?
These are questions you have to answer if you want to be prepared for a successful marriage. You may not have all the exact answers right now but you will start having ideas on what to do after you get married. Get a hobby or two and see where it leads…
#7 Sharpen your communication skills
If you don’t know how to strike a good conversation with someone, you have to learn that. It’s not only for your spouse but also for the new friends you might make and your husband’s friends. Don’t be a bad conversationalist; it’s not good for any relationship.
A good conversation keeps a relationship going even when other areas are not functioning. The moment a couple stops communicating to each other, their relationship dies.
Learn to be a good listener and know when to offer solutions to problems. If you want to improve your communication skills, this Conversation Starters pack will be good for you. It will help you take your communication to a whole new level!
#8 Make your future spouse your best friend
A lot of married couples are not each other’s best friends. It may sound a bit strange but it’s absolutely true. Before you get married to your husband, try to make him your best friend. Spend quality time with him. Get to know him well and allow him to know you too.
Communicate your feelings to him whether good or bad. Involve him in your activities; let him be an important figure in your life. If you do all of this, he will be as close as a best friend even before you tie the knot.
#9 Learn some basic skills
It is essential that everyone learns a basic skill or two no matter how insignificant. It may not seem helpful now but it will come in handy during your marriage. Learn how to sew a button. Know how to cook a good meal.
Learn how to change a light bulb. Know how to apply first aid. Learn how to drive. Have some of these skills because you will need them when the time comes. Prepare for a successful marriage by learning at least two basic skills.
#10 Don’t listen to the wrong people
Many married couples go off track because they listened to the wrong people. You need to know this: not everyone who talks to you actually has your best interests at heart. Don’t be fooled by physical appearances.
People are often not who they say they are. Be careful of who you call friends and those you tell your problems. If you need help, seek professional advice. Even if you ask your friends for help, be smart enough to distinguish between good advice and bad advice.
Being single doesn’t mean you should have only single friends. It’s good to make friends with married couples so you can learn from their mistakes and their successes. If they’ve been married for a long time, ask them to tell you the secret of their successful marriage.
You never know what will save your own marriage from falling apart. If you don’t have any married friends, you can join a Marriage Club to help you prepare for a successful marriage.
#11 Learn to forgive easily
Marital conflicts last for a long time because couples adamantly refuse to forgive each other over an issue. One person expects the other person to be the first to say sorry and the other person also expects the same.
At the end, nobody says sorry and they gradually drift apart. That wouldn’t have happened if only one person threw away his pride and just said “I’m sorry.”
Forgiveness is a gift that most people don’t have but we all need to develop the habit of forgiving easily. If you have forgiveness in your heart, your marriage will thrive. Learn to forgive easily and learn to say sorry even when you are not wrong.
#12 Be irresistible
Every woman should learn how to be irresistible to her man. You can do this by taking care of your physical appearance. Men like women who maintain a good personal hygiene. Bathe twice a day, have a fresh breath, wear good perfume and change your hairstyle at least once a month.
Always shave your pubic hairs immediately after your menses, keep your toenails trim and wear sexy lingerie all the time. These are things that some ladies overlook but they are necessary in maintaining a marriage.
Don’t stop doing these things even when you get married. Let them become a part of you. Keep yourself in good shape so that your man will have no reason to look elsewhere. Be irresistible!
#13 Choose to be faithful and committed
How many people go into a marriage with a firm decision to be faithful and committed for the rest of their lives? Just a handful! The rest just say their vows without even knowing the meaning of the words. To them, it’s just what they are supposed to say during the marriage ceremony.
If you want to have a successful marriage, you have to choose to be faithful and committed to your spouse no matter what it takes. Marriage is a lifetime contract that is supposed to end only in death. Tell yourself “I’m in it to stay” and be ready to stick to that promise come rain or sunshine.
#14 Be open minded
If you’re going to survive in a marriage, you have to be open minded and adaptable to change. There are going to many things you won’t understand in a marriage but you have to flow with it. Things will not always go your way and you won’t always get what you want.
Be ready to compromise to keep the peace in your marriage. The key is to be open minded enough to take another route each time you meet an obstacle.
The list is not too long I hope? I just had to summarize the article in a way that you would be able to pick up some tips and start working on them right way. Don’t think you stumbled on this post for nothing; you were meant to read it today. Make sure you put all the tips you read into practice so you can have a happy and successful marriage.
Are you prepared for a successful marriage?