One of my readers contacted me the other day with a serious marriage problem. I thought I had seen the worst until I saw her mail. She was so worried that her husband never uses dirty talk during lovemaking and she has no idea of what he likes. Here’s exactly what she said:
“My biggest challenge is getting my husband to talk to me about intimacy. We have been married for almost 7 years and I have no idea what he likes. He makes absolutely no noises, not even a moan.
He has never said the words “that feels good” to me. I’ve expressed my need for feedback as I have no confidence in the bedroom because of his lack of communication with me; but still nothing, not during, after or before intercourse. What do I do?”
Her major concern is that her husband never engages in dirty talk during intercourse. The first thing I said to her in my reply was that she waited too long to open up and her husband has gotten used to the way he behaves during lovemaking. Of course, he doesn’t see it as a big deal but it’s killing her, their intimacy and their relationship.
In all my posts, I always emphasize the need for communication in a relationship. Open up to your spouse from day one and talk about anything worrying you.
Before you even consult a marriage counselor, talk it out with your spouse first. If you find it difficult starting a conversation with your partner, this Conversation Starters Guide will help you greatly.
Now, back to the topic of the day: Dirty talk…
I’ve written this post for all of you who don’t engage in dirty talk with your spouse. What’s the problem? Are you shy of your life partner? Or you simply don’t know how to talk dirty to your spouse?
Let me tell you something… Dirty talk can improve your relationship beyond your imagination. You won’t know it until you try it!
Benefits of Talking Dirty to Your Spouse
Dirty talk can be beneficial to your relationship in so many ways:
- It creates anticipation.
- It awakens our intimate senses.
- It builds arousal before intercourse.
- It boosts your libido.
- It creates intimacy between lovers.
- It helps couples learn about each other’s emotional needs.
5 Exciting Ways Dirty Talk Improves Your Relationship
#1 It turns your partner on like magic
The number one thing dirty talk does is to turn your partner on. It makes your partner anticipate for intimacy. It automatically puts him in the mood. When you talk dirty before having intercourse, you save yourself some minutes of foreplay.
You won’t need to spend so much time trying to arouse your partner because the dirty talk you used is already making him hot for you. He can hardly wait to get his hands on your beautiful body.
#2 It encourages your partner to do more
Do you know how encouraged employees get when they receive a word of praise or encouragement from their boss? That’s exactly how dirty talk works! It encourages your partner to do more in the romance department.
It motivates him to please you beyond your expectations. When you tell him you love it when he goes down on you, he will do it again and again because he knows how much you like it.
#3 It shows your partner what you like in bed
Most couples don’t even know what their partner likes in bed. They just make love because it’s a biological need. You need to know what your partner likes in bed and your partner needs to know what you like. You can both achieve this by talking dirty to each other.
Save yourself years of exploring your bodies and know what you really like by using dirty talk whenever you can. If you enjoy nice foot rubs, say it.
If you like your hair being dragged during lovemaking, tell your partner. Dirty talk shows your partner exactly what you like in bed so he won’t be second-guessing.
#4 It improves your Love Life
An active intimate life leads to a happy, healthy and fulfilling relationship. When you start using dirty talk to turn your partner on, to encourage him to do more and to show him what you like in bed, your relationship will become super-fantastic.
Your relationship will become closer and stronger because you have a satisfying love life. There won’t even be unnecessary fights because you’re completely open to each other. Dirty talk is truly amazing!
#5 It makes your partner happy
Men are always concerned when they don’t know what their women want in bed. They are even more frustrated when they can’t satisfy her. Their ego is crushed when they can’t give a woman immense pleasure.
But, when you open up to your man and start telling him how he can please you, he’ll know exactly what you want.
And, he’ll be very happy because he can finally give you what you want and not what he thinks you want. The day he genuinely satisfies you will be the best day of his life! When you’re satisfied in bed, your man will be happy!
How to Talk Dirty to Your Partner
The key to talking dirty is to do it with honesty and confidence. Lovers enjoy talking dirty as a way of expressing their passionate desires in the heat of the moment.
Through dirty talk, we learn about our partner’s desires as well as stimulate and heighten our intimate senses. We gain knowledge about our partner’s pleasures, insecurities, and sensitivities.
Dirty talk isn’t just about saying words; it is about the sounds you make, the tone of your voice and the confidence you radiate. You must be authentic and confident when you talk dirty to your spouse.
The way you say it can be more powerful than what you say. Here are some examples of dirty talk you can use with your partner:
- I love it when you nibble my ear lobe with your teeth.
- When you lick my belly button, it makes me shiver with desire.
- Seeing you naked from a shower, makes me so aroused.
- I love it when you enter me from behind.
- When you grab my hair during lovemaking, it makes me cum faster.
- Foot rubs make me so damn wet.
- What would you prefer first? My tongue or my fingers?
- I love kissing you deeply.
- You look so hot right now; I can’t wait to have you.
- The sounds of your pleasure drive me crazy.
- It feels so good being inside you.
- You’re so wet and warm.
- I love it when you use your tongue like that.
- It feels good when you use the tip of your tongue on my nipples.
- I love how your hot mouth feels on me.
- I really like it when you go down on me.
- You smell so good I could eat you up right now.
- I love it when you lick the soft spot behind my ears.
- I want you so bad, it hurts.
I hope you now understand how to use dirty talk to improve your relationship? Words have the power to arouse our imagination, make us laugh, cry moan with desire or reach your climax. Don’t underestimate the power of your voice.
Your voice is a powerful tool for releasing desires and giving intense pleasure. Whispering can also be very exciting because you have to get close to the ear and you know the ear is a hot zone for many people.
Learning how to trigger powerful emotions with your voice and touch builds intense arousal. Don’t try to figure out something pretty to say to your spouse; just be genuine.
Say whatever suits your personality; let the words come straight from your heart. Authenticity is important, otherwise, you will sound fake.
Don’t be shy about talking dirty with your spouse. Dirty talk will improve your relationship if you use it correctly. Tell your partner how good he is in bed. Tell him how much you love it when he grabs your hair while making love to you.
Let him know how aroused you get when he caresses your feet and thighs. If you don’t tell him, how will he know he is giving you immense pleasure? I give you full permission to talk dirty before, during and after lovemaking.
If you want more dirty talk examples, grab a copy of The Language of Desire and learn tried-and-tested phrases you can use to get your partner in the mood before, during & after lovemaking.
You will learn many ways to get started talking dirty even if you’re a good girl and how to build it up gradually so you are comfortable & sound confident when you say them. Have fun with dirty talk!