If you’ve recently broken up with the love of your life, don’t feel that all is lost. There’s still hope that you can get your ex back and it’s actually easier than you think.
Even if you’ve tried everything you can think of to let your ex know how much you want to be together and it’s not working out the way you’d planned, the steps I’m going to share with you will help you get your ex back easily.
But, you must follow the exact steps as they are laid out in this post because getting your ex back is more psychological than you think. The problem is that we’re not taught how the opposite sex thinks, so it’s a mystery to most people.
We’re stuck trying out tactics that we think may work without ever considering what our partner would prefer instead. There are literally thousands of couples across the world who have broken up with their perfect partners due to very simple misunderstandings.
It’s really sad to think that many of these breakups could have been completely avoided if each person just had a clearer understanding of what their partner was thinking and what they wanted from the relationship.
Unfortunately, because men and women are biologically so different to each other, there are specific things we do that can easily drive a partner away rather than keeping them close, as we’d intended.
If men and women had a little more awareness of how the opposite sex was thinking, then breakups need never happen. In fact, we would all be in happy relationships where everyone was committed to making the relationship work and not looking for the slightest provocation to leave their partners.
We would all know exactly what to do and say to keep our partners with us. Unfortunately, not all of us know what we are doing in relationships and that’s why we end up broken-hearted.
I know you’re completely bewildered as to why your relationship has ended at all. One minute you were happily dreaming of your future wedding with the love of your life and the next minute you’re soaking up your pillow with hot tears.
I totally understand how you feel because I’ve been where you are right now but after much crying and acting desperate, I made a decision to either get my ex back or move on with my life. I’m going to share with you the exact steps I used to get my ex back within 3 months of our breakup.
HOW TO GET YOUR EX BACK IN 7 SIMPLE STEPS
Step 1: Cut off all contact with your ex
Are you guilty of trying to convince your ex to get back together with you even after they’ve broken up with you? Sure, your heart might be breaking and your intuition is telling you that this is the person you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with.
But does your ex feel the same way? If you’ve tried calling your ex, texting or sending uncountable messages trying to convince them that you’re the right person for them, chances are you’re driving them even further away.
The problem with these constant attempts at contact is that your ex is seeing them as an act of desperation on your part. Nobody likes desperation. It reeks of insecurity, clinginess and it’s a really unattractive trait in anyone.
Would you like to spend time with a certain person if you only heard misery, begging, pleading and attempts at convincing every time you were near that person? Of course not; you’d want to leave and spend time with people who are a bit more fun.
So, what do you do if you’ve already fallen victim to the trap of pleading or even begging them to come back to you and as a result, it has driven your ex even further away? Even if you’re guilty of sending constant messages or calling your ex, it may not be too late to fix your broken relationship.
No matter how badly you want to, your first step in getting your ex to come back to you is to avoid contacting your ex in any way. Stop texting. Stop calling. Stop emailing. Stop sending messages. Don’t ask his friends about him – just stop.
Cut off all contact with your ex and after a while, your ex will begin to wonder why you haven’t called or contacted them in any way and they’ll begin to worry about you.
And if your ex starts thinking about you and worrying about your lack of contact, it implies that there must still be a level of care for you. So, the big lesson here is– stop contacting him and instead, work on yourself.
Step 2: Stop being desperate
A lot of people find confidence an attractive trait in the opposite sex. A confident person who knows what they want and doesn’t need another person to make it happen for them is very appealing to everyone.
But, a person who thinks that the only way they can be happy is by attaching themselves to another person is all of a sudden very unattractive. Remember that your partner probably fell in love with a happy, bubbly, confident version of you.
The miserable, lonely, desperate version of you isn’t quite appealing and your ex might be wondering what happened to the person they fell in love with. People who are hurting and unsure often end up doing the exact opposite of the things they should be doing to bring their ex back to them.
Despite your best intentions in this situation, you will tend to do things that will actually turn off and push away the person you really want to bring back into your life and without even knowing you’re doing it.
This means you’re often doing the complete opposite of what you should be doing to get your ex back yet you’re totally unaware of it. Think about it. Is what you’re doing right now to get your ex back working for you? Or is it just driving him further away from you?
Step 3: Look at your past mistakes
It’s unfortunate that sometimes even the best relationships go sour but even if we cannot see it at first, there is always a reason. There are actually countless reasons why good relationships turn bad.
You may have endured meaningless arguments or you might have simply found that your ex stopped communicating with you completely and then pulled away, leaving you in the dark about what was happening.
In almost every breakup, the solution to getting your ex back lies in thinking right back to the very beginning of the relationship. What was your partner like when you first met? What were you like when you were together at the beginning?
Chances are you were both on your best behavior and you both worked hard to ensure the other person was having a good time. You also would have overlooked any minor quirks in personality or behavior simply because you were trying to make a good impression on the other person.
Now think about the last time you spent time with your ex. Were you both enjoying each other’s company? Or were you fighting, stressed, upset or worried about what the other person was thinking?
If you were not getting along very well, It’s possible that the image your ex has of you in his mind is the image of you arguing and being upset about the future of the relationship. If that was the case, your ex may have decided to find someone who is more like the person that you actually were when he first met you.
That’s right – the person you were when you first met. He must have fallen in love with the happy, confident, positive, motivated and independent person you were when you met initially. You made him feel happy when he was with you and he kept looking for the smallest excuses to see you again. So … what changed?
You may often feel as though you’ve done nothing wrong yet your ex who has withdrawn completely may have different ideas about where the relationship was going in the first place.
Sit down and analyze your past relationship thoroughly to find out what went wrong. When you find out your mistakes, keep them in mind so you can avoid repeating them in your next relationship.
Step 4: Work on yourself
Many people make the mistake of thinking their ex is the best thing that ever happened to them and then they lose interest in doing the things they enjoyed before. Your ex is not the key to your happiness.
You don’t need to have another person in your life to be happy or fulfilled. You only need yourself and your own interests, hobbies, passions that make you feel good. When you first met your ex, it’s likely you were already happy, independent and confident.
These are extremely attractive qualities to the opposite sex. So go out and have some fun. Hang out with friends. Watch silly comedy movies that don’t make you think about him or that upset you. Buy a new outfit. Get a new hairstyle. Start a new fitness workout routine. Spend time making yourself look and feel good.
When you look good, you feel good and when you feel good, you become attractive to everyone around you again. Your confidence levels will naturally go up and you’ll soon find things to be happy around you.
Even though you might not feel like it and your sad emotional state might make you feel like sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring … don’t. Put a smile on your face and spend time with your family and friends. Hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself.
This transformation will not only help you move past the fact that you’ve broken up with your ex, but it will help you get back in touch with the person you used to be when your ex first met you and fell in love with you.
Step 5: Reinitiate contact with your ex
When you’ve spent a bit of time raising your confidence levels back to where they were before you met your ex, you’ll begin feeling better about yourself. You’ll also be in a much better position to meet with your ex once again.
Sometimes, once you stop contacting your ex, it’s enough to make him want to pick up the phone and call you to make sure you’re okay. If he has done this, you know he still cares for you in some way, but don’t make the mistake of meeting too soon. You want to be sure you’re feeling more like your old happy self before you do this.
However, if he hasn’t called and you’ve spent a couple of weeks working on your own self-esteem, you might want to try a friendly phone call just to say ‘hi’. Don’t insist you want to talk about the relationship and don’t invite him out for a coffee. Just let them know you wanted to say ‘hi’.
This also gives you an opportunity to begin a conversation about what you’ve been up to in recent weeks since you split up. Let them know you’ve been going out, having fun and doing things for yourself.
It’s also okay to ‘let it slip’ that you’ve been thinking about him but don’t let the initial conversation get centered on the failed relationship or the breakup. This is very important. Also before you end the conversation, mention that it would be nice to catch up at some point. But don’t suggest a time or a place.
Step 6: Don’t be hasty to continue where you left off
Many people instantly assume that once you’re dating your ex again, it must mean you’re back together in a relationship. However, your ex may not think this way. Dating is simply spending some time with each other, going out, doing things you enjoy, but it’s not a relationship. Not yet!
Don’t fall into the trap of assuming what he’s thinking or feeling unless he specifically tells you. This also means you shouldn’t demand to know when he thinks you’ll be able to get back together or you’ll be heading right back to that desperate person he pulled away from.
Instead, continue having fun together. Go out on dates. Make sure you’re both enjoying yourselves. And through it all, be sure you’re not the one who’s dropping everything the moment he calls or wants to go out.
Even though getting your ex back might be your primary goal, you need to make your own personal life a priority as well. After all, your friends, family, work, hobbies, and interests are what make you who you are when you’re not with your ex.
They’re an important part of you and they help you to keep your confidence levels up and your stress levels down. Every now and then, let your ex know you’re not available for a date and that you have other plans.
You want him to continue chasing you until you’re certain that his feelings for you are growing. It won’t take very long before he is the one asking you if the relationship is back together or not.
Wishing for the old relationship you once had to be brought back together is futile. After all, the relationship you once had is ended. It didn’t work out. You don’t want to fix a broken relationship. Instead, work on building a new version of the relationship, only this time on a much stronger foundation.
Think about some of the things you really enjoyed about your past relationship before you broke up and consider some of the things that caused problems or made you unhappy. Be selective about what you want to carry forward into the new relationship with your ex and what you want to leave behind.
When your connection with your ex has been re-established and you’re beginning to date on a regular basis again, you can discuss what might have gone wrong in the previous relationship. If your ex is unwilling to talk, let it drop until he is ready to discuss it.
If you’re playing ‘hard to get’ the right way, he should begin looking for ways to get your attention, so he’ll soon find the right time to talk about what went wrong.
Step 7: Play hard to get
It’s no secret that men love to chase what they think they can’t have. Unfortunately, many women take this too far and decide to date someone new in order to make their ex jealous. This never works!
By jumping into a new relationship with another guy immediately after your breakup, you’ll be letting your ex know that your relationship wasn’t important to you and you’ve moved on already. Even if he still had feelings for you, he’s not likely to act on them.
The idea of playing hard to get is simply remembering not to drop everything you’re doing and rush to him the moment he calls. Let the call go to voice mail or just let it ring without picking it and call him back whenever you want.
If he suggests a date, you can agree to it but make sure you change the proposed day. For example, if he wants to meet for coffee on a Friday, agree to meet for coffee, but tell him that you’re busy on Friday and that Saturday would be better for you.
It doesn’t matter what else you’re doing on the day suggested – you can call a friend, watch a movie, wash your dog – whatever. Just be sure he understands that you’re busy with your own life. If he wants to be a part of it again, then he’ll need to work a little harder to gain your attention.
When you do eventually meet up with him again, pre-arrange another meeting so it forces you to be on a time limit. Explain that you can’t stay long and that you need to leave at an exact time.
This will probably mean cutting your conversation short and, if you’ve been enjoying each other’s company, it will definitely leave him wanting more.
Once you’ve gotten through your first meeting together, don’t be tempted to call him right away to arrange another date. Leave it a few days and see if he calls you first. Remember, he still has images in his mind of the reasons you broke up.
One meeting with you isn’t going to be enough for him to forget about the problems that split you up. You will need to spend time rekindling those feelings he had for you if you really want him back.
I’ve given you some simple tactics that can give your ex a completely different view of the person you are and get him to fall in love with you all over again.
Are you ready to bring your ex back into your life? Follow the steps I’ve outlined in this post and if you play your cards well, you’ll get your ex back for good.
If you’re totally overwhelmed and confused on how to apply the tactics I’ve highlighted in this post, I highly recommend How to Win Back Your Ex to help you get your ex back easily just by following a simple step-by-step guide.
If you manage to get your ex back successfully, be sure you’re not hiding who you truly are. If you’re not being yourself then who is your partner really falling for? And what will he think the moment you stop the acting and start being yourself again?
If you’re serious about rebuilding a relationship with your ex, don’t be tempted to play tricks or mind-games to make him love you quickly. Just be yourself! Be the best version of yourself that you can be.
Stay positive, look for the good in things, and find ways to bring happiness into your life. Enjoy your friends, have fun with your hobbies or interests. Look your best and feel your best and your confidence will shine for the entire world to see.