Getting into a relationship is pretty easy but keeping a man and knowing how to get him to commit easily is a different ball game for most ladies. A lot of women know how to attract the right guy and keep him interested for a while but the hard part is making him stay for the long haul.
When I first started dating my current boyfriend, it was a rollercoaster ride for me. There were days when I was so confused and frustrated with my relationship. I had to overcome many relationship problems and navigate my way to the loyalty, honesty, and commitment I now receive constantly from my boyfriend.
I knew I wanted my boyfriend to stay with me and eventually get married to me. I also knew I didn’t want to share him with anyone else. I wanted to be his first and last true love. For me to achieve all of this, I had to follow certain steps so I could get what I really wanted from my relationship.
If you’ve been dating someone for a few months and you want him to commit so you can move your relationship to another level, I’m going to show you how to get him to commit easily even if he’s scared of commitment.
Your boyfriend is not the only guy who has the commitment phobia; a lot of guys suffer from it and others just hide under its umbrella so they won’t have to commit to a serious relationship. Here are 7 ways you can make him commit easily:
HOW TO GET HIM TO COMMIT EVEN IF HE’S SCARED OF COMMITMENT
1. Don’t act desperate
If you’re trying to get your man to commit, you may start acting desperate and needy. Stop right there! It’s not going to work. Begging a man to commit is only going to chase him farther away from you.
If you want him to commit, you have to give him genuine reasons why he needs to stop chasing other women and stick with you. If you can do that, you will automatically have him hooked by your side till eternity. So, how can you stop acting desperate?
Don’t always be the first to call after a date. Don’t text him 24 hours a day. Don’t always suggest a meeting date and place. Don’t drop everything you’re doing to please him. Don’t be too available to him. It’s tough not to get swept up in romance, but if you want to make a man commit to you it’s important that you have a life without him.
It may be great spending all of your free time with him but if you push your life to the side for him, he’ll see how easily he has you. On the other hand, if you make him work for your time by keeping busy with friends, family and other hobbies he’ll not only want to see you more, but he’ll even miss you when you’re not around.
So, if you’re desperately trying to get your man to commit, let him go occasionally. Give him some needed space so he can miss you and yearn to be with you. If he misses you, he’ll long to spend more time with you and if he spends more time with you, he’ll want to stay for the long haul. Get some standards
Most men don’t commit to a relationship because women don’t ask them to. When you don’t have any relationship rules, you’ll have a lawless relationship where everyone is allowed to behave anyhow they like. How do you expect a guy to commit when there are no rules set? What is he committing to?
Before you ask a guy to commit, you have to set some standards for him to follow and stick to. Some examples of standards you can set are: “I’m not into casual relationships or I don’t go out after 8pm or I don’t tolerate late nights and excessive drinking”. You need to tell a guy what he’s up against and if he’s serious, he’ll strive to keep your standards because he respects you.
If you want a man to commit to you, get some standards and stick to them. Don’t lower your standards because you want to make it easy for him. Your standards form the foundation of a relationship; they are the stepping stone to achieving everything you want in a relationship.
Many women make that grave mistake of not setting rules or standards for the man in the early stages of their relationship. When they eventually get married, they start desperately trying to change him. It won’t work that way!
The training needs to start early before any serious commitment is made in the relationship. If you don’t set any standards for your relationship, don’t expect any man to commit to you. Men love a good challenge; give him something to commit to by setting standards.
3. Set relationship goals
Most women don’t understand the value of setting relationship goals. If you don’t set relationship goals, you’re not going to have anything to work for each year. Without relationship goals, you’ll remain in a relationship just for the sake of being with someone. Why are you in a relationship? What do you hope to gain from it? Where you do see your relationship in the next 5 years?
If you hope to get married someday, marriage needs to be one of your goals and you need to inform your man of your plans to settle down in the future. If he doesn’t have plans to settle down, you won’t need to waste your time with him. If you want to have kids, he needs to know too.
Set some relationship goals you want to achieve in the next 5 years and let your boyfriend know about them. If he’s willing to remain in your life for the long haul, he won’t mind committing to those same relationship goals. If he’s interested in a long-term relationship with you, he’ll be thrilled to know you have future plans that might include him.
4. Be an awesome partner
A lot of women want their partners to commit to them but they are not very good life partners. Ask yourself this honest question “If I were my boyfriend, would I want to commit to me?” If your answer is YES, keep doing a good job by being an awesome partner. If your answer is NO, start trying to become an awesome partner that your boyfriend would want to commit to for the rest of his life.
As manly as they may seem, men still like to be taken care of. If you want to show your boyfriend that life’s better with you in it, be ready to go the extra mile to make him smile. While it’s one thing to tell him that you appreciate him, as the old saying goes, “actions speak louder than words.” Something as simple as surprising him with a nice home-cooked meal or his favourite beer can do wonders for your relationship.
If you’ve been cheating on him and you want him to commit, you’re just deceiving yourself. If you nag at him every single day and you expect him to stay with you till eternity, you’re honestly joking. If you’re too demanding and you’re trying to get him to commit to you, you may not achieve success in that area.
Don’t get me wrong though! Being an awesome partner doesn’t mean you should be all nice, sweet and pleasing all the time. Of course, that’s not entirely possible. But, you need to watch yourself, control your temper and communicate better with your partner. When a man knows he can rely on you he’ll feel a connection to you like no other.
If you want him to commit to a relationship, you need to be the one he can count on. Be a woman of your word which means, if you say you’re going to do something, do it. When he knows he can depend on you to follow through he’ll feel secure with you. It’s also important to be a great listener and the person he can talk to about anything and everything.
When he shares his dreams and goals with you, encourage him to chase them. Don’t ever tell him that something is out of his reach, but rather be his biggest fan. I’ve written an in-depth post on this topic if you need clarifications on what to do in order to become the awesome partner your boyfriend will love to commit to.
5. Don’t be too demanding
This is another huge mistake I see a lot of women making in their relationship. They expect their boyfriend to always be with them and do every single thing for them. As much as men like to be in control, they don’t want to have to call the shots for you every time. Instead of counting on him to decide on your dinner plans or your outfit for a date, do it yourself!
Men find indecisiveness draining, so if you want to keep him committed, it’s crucial that you learn how to be independent and have options of your own. If you’re one of those women who constantly demands things from your partner no matter how much he does for you, you need to stop it. It’s a bad habit that most men detest!
I know a man has to take care of a woman financially and foot her bills but you need to know where to draw the line on your excessive demands. Men love independent women who know how to take care of themselves even when they are around. Be mindful though; don’t become too independent and act as if you don’t need him in your life.
If he feels you no longer need him, he’s going to walk away. Men love to play the HERO in the movies we feature in; let him be your hero occasionally but don’t always be a damsel in stress. For example: If your man has paid your rent for the month, don’t ask him to also pay your light and water bill. Ask him to pay for the bills you really can’t afford but be independent enough to pay for the little ones yourself.
Don’t also turn him into your errand boy, housekeeper, driver or chef. If he wants to help you with some chores occasionally, let him do it but don’t abandon it for him and reverse your roles. If he feels like he’s being used, he’s never going to commit to you; he’ll just keep playing you and when he sees a better woman, he’ll move on.
6. Be great in bed
Men love sex a lot! They adore it and want it hot all the time. If you want to keep a man interested in you for as long as you want, be generous in the bedroom. Of course, you can’t turn into a porn star simply because you want to get him to commit to you.
When it comes to sex, balance is key to playing your cards right and making a man commit. Know when to act slutty and when to be a boss lady who has it all together. When you’re alone with him, show him the sex goddess you are by satisfying him in bed. But when you’re with company, be romantic but don’t act slutty.
Learn how to be a great kisser and know how to give awesome blowjobs that your boyfriend will actually love. If you treat him well in the bedroom, he won’t have any reason to look for someone else. Whether it’s a sex toy or a kinky sex position, be open and willing to try new things with your man; it’s actually important when it comes to getting him to commit.
Since most men are adventurous at heart, keeping your relationship exciting and passionate will prevent him from feeling bored or looking elsewhere for love. He’ll automatically commit to you because you know how to make him happy. He’ll want to keep you by his side till the end of the world.
7. Don’t do everything for him
I know you want him to commit to you and not look at any other woman but if you do everything for him, he’s going to turn into a spoiled brat. Everyone needs discipline even men need it too. You can do some things for him like cooking and keeping the house clean but please, let him take out the garbage, fix the broken pipe and wash his clothes by himself.
Remember I said men love being heroes in our lives. Let him be the hero of your life. Allow him to do certain things for you. Let him be a man and take charge of some things in your life. If anything is broken around the house, ask him to help fix it. If the trash can is full, remind him to take out the trash.
Don’t think you’ll win a man to your side by being his mother or nanny. Treat him as a partner and share chores equally. Let him do his part while you do yours. Don’t demand too much of him but don’t do everything for him either. Apply moderation in everything you do and you’ll have a successful relationship without needing to beg for it!
When it comes to getting a man to commit, it’s important to know where to start. Since you can’t force a relationship, it’s key that he feels a desire to be with you. In other words, he needs to believe that his life is greater with you in it. You need to give him concrete reasons why he should leave other women and stay with you.
If you’ve been dating a guy for a long time and you’re wondering how to get him to commit to you, I’ve given you 7 ways you can make him commit easily. If you need a comprehensive step-by-step guide on how to make a man commit, I recommend Complete Commitment. It is a guide designed to help women who are struggling to get the commitment they desire from their man.
If you follow the steps outlined in the guide, you won’t need to push or pressure any man to be with you. He’ll automatically feel committed to making your relationship work because he can’t imagine his life without you.