7 Things Men Really Want In Bed

7 things men really want in bed

Have you ever wondered what men really want in bed?

If you’ve asked yourself this question before, it’s likely that you’re not doing something right in the bedroom and your man knows this.

Perhaps, you’ve done everything possible to satisfy your man but deep down you know that he’s not really happy with your performance.

Or maybe you’ve been guessing and trying different things to please him in bed…

But you realize that you’re missing the final puzzle piece that will make everything so much clearer.

Or you’re doing really well but you want to be exceptionally great in bed and increase the intimacy in your relationship.

I totally get you because I’ve been there before.

And it feels like groping in the dark desperately trying to find your way without a torchlight.

A few years ago, I found myself asking “What do men want in bed and how can I satisfy my man sexually?”

I started trying new things in the bedroom and some worked so I kept doing them over and over.

7 things men really want in bed

I teach most of these intimacy discoveries and how to be great in bed in my bestselling intimacy book.

One thing about men is that, when you’re not good at a particular thing, they conclude that you’re either inexperienced or you don’t really love them.

That’s a wrong notion most men have about their sexual partners and it’s your responsibility to get that out of your man’s head.

Being great in bed requires confidence, experience, and passion.

You’ll effortlessly make a man obsessed with you if you know how to give him what he really wants in bed.

If you have passion but lack the other two elements, your sex life will be boring and unsatisfying.

When that happens, your man will gradually become less interested in making love to you.

And before you know it, he’ll be cheating on you with another woman right under your nose.

A recent study from Men’s Health magazine shows that 44% of men would leave their girlfriend or wife for some other random woman with better skills in the bedroom.

This means that if your man is not satisfied in bed, he’ll likely cheat on you with a more experienced woman.

I know it sounds unfair but it’s the blunt truth. One thing men love most in a romantic relationship is great sex. It’s that simple!

For us women, lovemaking needs to be an emotional connection and what men like in bed is a bit different.

We want to be told how beautiful we are, how lovely our skin feels, and how much our man loves us.

We need all that in order to connect with a man during lovemaking but for men, it’s not that complicated.

The things men really want in bed are slightly different from what women want because they don’t see intimacy the same way we do.

That’s why when a man cheats in a committed relationship, we don’t understand why he did it when he claimed to love us.

The truth is, men love being intimate with a woman who knows how to please them, and if you can’t do a good job, they’ll find someone else who can.

Fortunately, you can avoid all of that by simply learning how to be irresistible in bed today. But first, you need to know what men really want in bed…


If you’ve been struggling to please your man and keep him satisfied in the bedroom, here are 7 things guys want in bed but won’t tell you.

#1 Confidence

Confidence is the first thing a man looks for in a woman even before he gets intimate with her.

A man wants you to be sure of yourself and love who you are without seeking approval from anyone else.

So, even in bed, men want you to carry yourself as if you know exactly what you’re doing even if you don’t.

Your man doesn’t like you being unsure of yourself and having a poor body image.

A lot of women have low self-esteem because they don’t love their bodies and this shows when they’re with a man.

What most men like in bed and find as a lasting turn on more than anything is the way a woman carries herself.

Her confidence and charisma are what attracts him to her. Don’t ever lose it.

If you always look down on your body, you can do something about it like working on your appearance, communicating better and thinking positively.

But, one sure thing you can do right now is to learn how to embrace the skin you’re in and feel confident enough to flaunt it.

A confident woman is intriguing, mysterious, and attractive.

She knows who she is and isn’t afraid to be her real self in front of her man because she loves herself wholeheartedly.

She doesn’t need anyone’s approval to dress in a certain way. She knows what she wants and goes for it without seeking permission.

This unshakeable confidence is the number one thing men love in a woman.

Your appearance and the way you carry yourself can be very appealing to a man.

No one is perfect in this world so learn to love and accept yourself just the way you are. Men find this very attractive in a woman.


#2 Responsiveness

How do you respond to your man’s advances in bed? Do you just lie there waiting for him to do his thing and be done with it?

Men hate it when women refuse to respond to their touch. It makes them feel unloved and unwanted by you.

Your man needs you to make some soft noises, rub your hands on his body, and be involved during lovemaking.

Intimacy should be fun and pleasant most of the time. It shouldn’t always seem like a chore or something you’re being forced into.

I know you have a lot on your plate like going to work, cleaning the house, getting groceries, taking care of kids, and dealing with everyday problems.

All these tasks can sometimes leave you too tired to get anything going but you have to motivate yourself and put your mind into it.

When you’re getting intimate with your man, it is important that you focus on what you are doing at the moment.

To do this, you have to stop the chatter going on in your own head to have a good time.

Don’t worry that you forgot to pick up the dry cleaning, or that you need to call your friend about her birthday or the fact that you’re out of milk.

Leave all that stuff for later and just enjoy everything that’s happening in the heat of the moment.

You can always attend to your to-do list after spending some intimate moments with your man.

Give him special attention and some encouraging moans to let him know that you enjoy making love to him.

Your own pleasure is important to a man too and if you pretend, he won’t ever know how to satisfy you.

Real enjoyment from a woman is exactly what guys like in bed and they want to know you’re really enjoying the intimate moment with them.


7 things men really want in bed

#3 Communication

There is a huge misconception that goes on in the minds of women that a man is supposed to know what to do in bed all the time.

The truth is everyone is unique and people change constantly.

Even if you’ve been with different men and you know how to have good sex, you still need to communicate in bed.

Lack of communication is what makes it difficult to know how to satisfy your man in bed and men find it annoying if they have to keep guessing.

The first time you make love might be a bit awkward for both of you but it’s a good idea to open up to him afterward.

You can’t expect your man to automatically know what you like or dislike in bed.

You have to give him constant feedback and the best way to do this is by telling him or showing him what gives you pleasure.

If he’s doing something that feels good, tell him. When he’s touching you in a place that turns you off, let him know that you don’t like it.

Even if you’ve been together for a long time, your partner can’t always know what you like and even if he does, it wouldn’t hurt to tell him how to improve.

Say what you like and why you like it, it will motivate him to do better and please you more in bed.

If you can’t tell your man what you really want him to do to you, sending him romantic text messages is a great alternative.

It allows you to be as specific as you like without feeling shy and it also gives your partner time to process what you’ve said.

Sending naughty text messages is a perfect way to boost his sexual desire for you especially when you’re apart.

Constant communication is another thing men really want in bed because they like to improve their performance in bed.

You don’t really need to master the art of dirty talk but knowing how to communicate in bed can make your love life more satisfying.

All you have to do is be open and speak up about your intimate needs.

What guys like in bed is constant feedback because this helps them to improve in their bedroom skills.

If you’re often shy when it comes to talking about intimacy, get these 201 Intimate Questions For Couples to help you communicate better in bed.

#4 Experience

Making love to someone who is naive or inexperienced is not always pleasant especially to men.

If you’re naive, you’re going to be totally boring in bed and this can turn men off instantly.

So it’s important for you to gain some experience if you really want to please a man in bed.

When you get intimate with a man, you need to know what you’re doing, where to touch, and how to touch in a pleasant way.

Lovemaking will be more enjoyable and memorable when you have some experience with giving a man pleasure.

Your man doesn’t just want to get laid; he wants to connect intimately with you and he can only do that if you’re actively involved.

A man doesn’t want to tell you everything you have to do in bed, he expects you to have a few skills up your sleeves to show him.

This doesn’t mean that you have to sleep with different male partners to know enough about intimacy and sex.

If there is a particular thing you don’t know how to do, read about it, watch videos on it, and practice on your man until you master it.

Being an expert in bed really involves you leaving your comfort zone, learning a lot about intimacy and applying powerful techniques on a man.

If you want to learn more about the exact sex techniques to use in the bedroom, I recommend The Irresistible Diva Ebook to teach you how to be great in bed.

7 things men really want in bed

#5 Romance

Most women feel that men don’t necessarily need romance but they actually do.

As a woman, one of the best things you can do to please your man is to add more romance to your love life.

Being romantic can keep the spark alive in your relationship and maintain the emotional connection you have with your man.

If you think being romantic has to do with spending much money, planning big gestures or buying expensive gifts, you’re wrong.

Romance has to do with the little things you do to show your partner how much you love him.

Men love affection too and they appreciate it when you go out of your way to show your love in thoughtful ways.

There are so many effective ways to prove your love for your man without breaking the bank.

Examples of romantic things you can do are:

Giving him a deep kiss when you walk past him

Trailing your finger along his arm when he’s reading a magazine

Sending him a passionate message when he’s at work

Hugging him from behind in the shower

Snuggling on the couch while watching TV etc.

You can also give your partner a foot massage when he gets home from a busy day or use a feather to trace his body when you’re lying down in bed together.

You know your man best so do those favorite things you know he really likes.

The right time to engage in intimate couple activities is when you’re both in the mood. Don’t bring it up when you’re both busy.

If you’re looking for romantic activities to help you stay emotionally connected to your man, download the 365 Days Of Romance Ebook to keep the passion alive in your relationship.

#6 Passion

Everyone loves a hot, steamy, and passionate lovemaking session because of how irresistible it makes us feel.

But sometimes we are just too tired or busy to make that happen.

It’s totally understandable to not be in the mood occasionally.

But if you’re always too tired for intimacy or you don’t put in much effort to enjoy it, your man won’t be happy with your sex life and this can make him cheat on you.

Lovemaking should be an intimate and passionate experience. It shouldn’t seem forceful, stressful or coercive.

You need to be excited when you’re making love to your man and he needs to feel wanted by you.

When you add passion to lovemaking, your partner will feel it and enjoy it a lot more than when you just lie there passively waiting for him to finish.

If you’re active in bed, your man won’t find you boring or selfish; he’ll feel your passion and love for him in every touch or moan.

You can easily boost your libido and re-spark the romance with your man by playing naughty adult games for couples.

When you incorporate positive energy and enough foreplay into your lovemaking sessions, it will make you feel more vibrant and alive.

That sort of passion is another thing men really want in bed. It keeps a man excited and addicted to you for a long time.

When he’s apart, he’ll reminisce about the last time you made passionate love and it will drive him so crazy for you.


Things men really want in bed

#7 Spontaneity

Do you often come up with new sex positions to try in the bedroom?

Just like everything else, a sexual relationship can get boring if you repeat the same things over and over again.

Do you use the same position every single time you make love? Do you touch the same spots to turn your man on?

That’s not good for your love life.

A lot of married couples usually fall into a comfortable routine a few years after marriage which can totally destroy their sex lives.

Routine is good for things like brushing your teeth, cleaning the house, or shaving your legs.

But it shouldn’t come into your intimate life when variety is a crucial element in making it satisfying.

Men love it when you’re adventurous, fun, and full of surprises in bed.

It’s not possible to be this way all the time but you can carve out time to explore and have fun with your man.

It’s totally okay to schedule sex on less busy days but adding spontaneity can really help you bond on a deeper level.

The element of surprise is a great turn on for most men.

If you want to be spontaneous, you can jump into the shower with your man unexpectedly, hug him from behind when he’s cooking, or touch him down there when he’s watching TV.

You can also be spontaneous by making the first move instead of waiting for your man to initiate sex all the time.

If you always make love lying down, try standing or sitting to give you both a new sensation.

If you’re always on top then try switching things around. Exploring different positions will keep your love life exciting.

Spontaneity is another important thing men really want in bed; it keeps them excited and committed to you.

Just try new things, especially when he’s not expecting it.

You can also add spontaneity to your love life and increase the passion by playing the truth or dare game in bed.



I’ve given you a few things men really want in bed but I can assure you that the list is not comprehensive.

There are several other elements you need to master for you to be irresistible in bed and keep your partner happy in a long-term relationship.

I had to summarize everything into this post so you’ll understand some basic concepts about intimacy.

Every man is different and sometimes, you have to keep learning, practicing, and tweaking in order for you to stay on top of the game.

Whenever you fall into a rut, experimenting with a new position, making out in a different location, or playing with sex toys can be enough to revive your passion.

But, sometimes you need a major intimacy overhaul to make your relationship work.

If you want a step-by-step guide on how to satisfy your man and make him addicted to you, download the Irresistible Diva Ebook to learn more about what men really want in bed.

It covers a lot of topics like romance ideas, self-confidence, great communication, lovemaking positions, and troubleshooting your sex life.

When you download the intimacy book and apply all the proven techniques, you won’t find yourself asking “What do men really want in bed?” because you’ll become a pro in the bedroom.

When you’re an intimacy expert who constantly does what men like in bed, your man will be addicted to you like glue. I’m sure you really want that!

And it’s totally possible with the right mindset, proven techniques, and enough practice in the bedroom.


Recommended Reading:

19 Things Men Want To Hear In Bed

9 Silly Mistakes Women Make In Bed

13 Mind-blowing Tips On How To Satisfy A Man In Bed

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi
 | Blog

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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