Do you have a significant other who has a short temper?
Dealing with an angry partner can be frustrating and intimidating at the same time.
While you don’t want to deliberately provoke your partner, it’s important that you express your real feelings to them.
Sometimes, this can lead to heated arguments, bottlenecks in the relationship, and a silent treatment that goes on for days.
So how can you build a healthy relationship with an individual who has anger issues?
This article will give you some tips on how to deal with an angry partner and prevent your relationship from falling apart.
HOW TO DEAL WITH AN ANGRY PARTNER
If you want to interact positively with a difficult partner, you need to develop patience, empathy, and good communication skills.
Use the following tips as a guide for dealing with an angry partner and restoring peace in your relationship:
1. Choose the right time and atmosphere for tough conversations
When you have a hot-tempered partner, you may decide to stop having deep conversations with them because you’re afraid of how they’ll react.
However, being conflict-avoidant never leads to a healthy and happy relationship.
When you refuse to talk about issues as a couple, you’ll store up resentments and unresolved problems which can be catastrophic to your love life.
The best way to communicate effectively with your partner is to choose the time and atmosphere that’s most suitable for both of you.
Avoid bringing up difficult conversations when your significant other is tired, irritated, or hungry.
If it’s not urgent, allow them to relax after a long day at work before trying to have a serious discussion.
Once your partner is in a better mood, they’ll be more receptive to your words and suggestions, so learn to pick the best time and place for tough conversations.
2. Try to control your emotions
As you navigate difficult conversations with your significant other, it’s crucial to keep your own emotions under control.
Since you know your partner gets angry easily, you need to manage your feelings better by being more patient and understanding.
You can also control your temper by taking deep breaths and slowly counting to three before making a comment.
This way you won’t say something you’ll regret later or provoke your partner unintentionally with hurtful words.
If one partner is calm and grounded, the conversation will be less likely to get out of hand and yield positive results.
To avoid turning a small disagreement into a heated argument, you must control your emotions and watch the tone of your voice as you talk.
3. Listen to understand before responding
A major communication problem many couples struggle with is a lack of comprehension.
Most people aren’t patient enough to listen during conversations because they’re focused on winning the argument not improving their relationship.
The key to having a meaningful conversation with an angry partner is to listen attentively and understand their point of view before giving your own response.
Don’t be in a haste to reply and defend yourself; practice active listening skills and try to put yourself in their shoes, so you can understand the entire situation before responding.
It’s also a good idea to ask open-ended questions and seek clarification from your partner when you discuss serious issues.
4. Maintain physical touch with your partner during conversations
Another way to make sure your discussions don’t turn into heated arguments is to maintain closeness with your significant other.
Try to ease their nerves by sitting close to them, rubbing your thigh against theirs, or holding their hands as you talk.
Staying near each other can help to increase intimacy and promote feel-good hormones, thereby reducing the chance of an argument turning into a fight.
So whenever you want to start a deep conversation with your significant other, make sure to sit close to them and look into their eyes as you express your concerns or feelings.
5. Avoid using accusatory words
When couples fight, they often accuse each other of wrongdoing instead of working on finding a solution together.
Blaming your partner for something bad that happened isn’t the best approach if you want to have a harmonious relationship with them.
When you argue, avoid shifting the blame and accusing your partner of being the cause of the problem.
Using words like “Never” or “Always” will make your partner feel attacked and they’ll become defensive instead of being agreeable or cooperative.
For example, if you say, “You never listen to me”, your partner will automatically begin to look for instances where they listened to you and feel that you are not being fair.
Instead of using accusatory words during an argument, focus on expressing your feelings and communicating exactly what you need in your relationship.
6. Focus on expressing your feelings
While you may be tempted to accuse your significant other and make them feel bad for hurting you, it’s better to focus on telling them how you feel in the moment.
Instead of saying, “You make me feel so alone”, try “I feel so lonely when…” to explain your viewpoint.
When you focus on expressing yourself, your partner will listen to you because they don’t feel the need to be defensive since you’re not accusing them of doing anything wrong.
You’ll achieve more with your partner if you stop playing the blame game and put more effort into communicating your needs clearly.
If you find it difficult to tell your partner what you want, this Relationship Needs Worksheet can help you clarify your most important needs.
7. Take some time to cool off if things get heated
During an argument, it’s normal for things to get heated after some time because emotions are out of balance.
Most couples don’t notice they’ve crossed the line with each other and will continue to argue aimlessly until someone explodes.
When you have a partner who easily gets angry, remember to take a break to cool off when the conversation starts getting tense.
You can always resume the discussion once everyone is calm and in a better mode to talk about the issues you’re facing.
If things aren’t going well during a conversation, don’t try to force it because it could lead to a big fight where hurtful words will be thrown around in the heat of the moment.
8. Practice patience and compassion when interacting with your partner
Another step to dealing with an angry partner is to learn to be patient and tolerant, especially when you disagree on certain issues.
Without patience, compassion, and tolerance, you’ll dismiss your loved one’s viewpoint prematurely and worsen the situation you’re trying to resolve in your relationship.
Even though you feel frustrated or annoyed by your partner’s behavior, try to be more understanding and avoid jumping to conclusions before knowing the truth.
Typically, when you’re patient and compassionate toward your partner, you’ll give them more time to open up to you and explain themselves better, which can lead to a harmonious relationship.
Moreover, you can reduce the friction between both of you and prevent future conversations from escalating if you stay calm and receptive.
9. Seek professional help to learn anger management skills
Sometimes, no matter how prepared you are for the obstacles that show up in a romantic relationship, you may still feel unequipped to deal with an angry partner.
If you discover that you can’t have a civil discussion with your significant other without fighting, it may be wise to enroll in anger management classes as a couple.
When you seek professional help from a licensed therapist, you’ll be given the support and tools you need to grow your relationship with love.
So don’t think you have to figure everything out by yourself or that you’re a failure for not being able to relate better with your partner.
Different personality traits, family backgrounds, and life experiences can prevent a couple from building a fulfilling relationship together.
However, when you consult a trained professional, you’ll be able to coexist more peacefully as a couple and work on strengthening your love life with confidence.
Dealing with an angry partner is harder than it looks on the outside.
You may think that love is all you need to enjoy a healthy and happy relationship with someone, but you soon find out that it’s not enough.
If you’re wondering how to deal with an angry person in a relationship, you need to know that it takes more than love to stay together for the long haul.
Even though you love your partner deeply, you may still feel frustrated and discouraged when they get angry over little things.
You expect them to be more emotionally stable and act maturely in the relationship.
However, heated arguments and silent treatments continue to plague your love life despite your efforts to maintain peace.
If you’re struggling to communicate effectively with your significant other because of their short temper, use the tips mentioned in this article to improve your relationship.
One of the most effective tips to cope with a difficult partner is to practice patience, empathy, and tolerance, especially during arguments.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a say but it’s important that you keep your emotions in control and listen to understand before responding.
Also, remember to take some time to cool off in between disagreements to avoid hurting each other with harsh words.
When you develop good communication skills as a couple, it would be easier to navigate the ups and downs of a romantic relationship, so don’t hesitate to get external help if you need it.
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About The Author
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life. As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are important in building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.