Are you always bothered by other people’s words?
Do you feel anxious or fearful when people say bad things about you? You’re not alone!
It’s totally normal to get worked up when a person you know speaks negatively about you or says something hurtful to you.
However, paying too much attention to what others think can imprison you mentally and hinder your personal growth.
When you’re always concerned with someone else’s opinion of you, you’ll be afraid to think outside the box or go beyond set boundaries for fear of criticism and judgment.
I used to be constantly worried about what people thought of me and it would keep me up at night.
It got to an extent where I avoided following my heart or taking risks because I didn’t want to be judged or criticized.
At age 30, I realized I had spent my twenties following the rules and doing what people expected of me, but I wasn’t truly happy, so I made a vow to myself to live on my own terms going forward.
Now, I’m unfazed about the opinions of others and no longer get upset when someone says something awful concerning me because I’m in a good place.
I’ve been able to conquer my worst fears, so I can live my best life and I’m going to show you how to stop caring about other people’s opinions.
In this article, you’ll find helpful tips on how to become self-reliant and stop focusing on what people think of you.
HOW TO STOP CARING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS
When a person knows that they can get a strong emotional reaction from you with their words, they’ll keep talking to manipulate you.
You need to develop a thick skin and avoid becoming emotional every time you hear something you don’t like.
If you’re struggling with detaching from negativity, here are 9 steps on how to stop letting other people’s opinions hold you back from living the life you truly desire.
1. Develop a healthy self-concept
Having a healthy sense of self means knowing who you are, being confident in your own skin, and staying focused on where you’re headed in life.
It’s extremely important to have your own set of values and beliefs rather than accepting everything people tell you.
How you see yourself, what you tell yourself, and what you believe about yourself are what determine your level of success in life.
If someone says you’re too sensitive, that doesn’t mean they’re right or that being a highly sensitive person is bad.
Your sensitivity is a gift that can help you make an impact in the world, so be confident in who you are, and don’t allow anyone to tell you who you should be.
You deserve to forge your own path and be whoever you choose to be. Don’t let anyone define your personality for you!
If you’re confused about your place in the world, work on developing a positive self-concept, so you won’t be tossed around by what people think or say about you.
2. Accept that everyone is entitled to their own opinion
Another step to reducing the influence other people have over you is to realize that most humans have a right to speech.
Talk is cheap that’s why it’s easy for people to make comments about others even when it’s not their business.
You can’t stop people from speaking their minds, so pay more attention to your personal growth and ignore anything that doesn’t align with your life goals.
If you want to survive in this world, you need to accept that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and no matter what you do, some people will not be happy with you.
Focus on doing the right thing at every point rather than seeking to please a particular person or group of people.
That’s the most effective way to live a good life and become the best version of yourself.
3. Avoid internalizing the negative words you hear
Listening to the words of other people is often harmless. The challenge lies in what you do with what you hear.
If you want to stop caring about what other people think of you, make a decision to never let anyone break your spirit with their hurtful words.
It’s okay to listen to someone else’s point of view but you don’t need to accept it as your own or repeat it to yourself.
The key to not caring about what others think about you is to learn to sift through what you hear and take only what can help you grow.
When you hear something negative about yourself, acknowledge it and affirm that it doesn’t change anything in your world.
Being able to reject what doesn’t serve your life’s purpose can help you maintain a healthy self-concept and keep you focused on the things that really matter.
4. Don’t measure your self-worth with someone else’s yardstick
Social media has made it easy for everyone to have a sneak peek into other people’s lives.
This can often lead to comparison, jealousy, and low self-esteem for people who easily get influenced by others.
If you want to be happy and stop caring about other people’s opinions, avoid measuring your self-worth with someone else’s tape.
Your level of happiness shouldn’t be based on another person’s approval.
You are the only one who gets to decide how your life should unfold, so stop placing other people on a pedestal.
Once you view someone as an important person who is above you, you’ll constantly strive to be like them, which can turn you into a people-pleaser.
Everyone is on a different journey. No matter where you are in life, be content with your progress and keep working on having a better future.
5. Try to not react to every negative thing you hear
Another way to be self-reliant and not care about what other people think is to avoid reacting to the negativity around you.
If you’re a sensitive person who experiences things deeply, learn to let things slide and don’t react strongly to everything you see or hear.
Sometimes, being emotionally distant can be a blessing in disguise!
According to Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron, “Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.”
You’ll be less affected by other people’s opinions when you no longer feel the need to defend yourself or prove anyone wrong.
Don’t allow yourself to get upset about what someone says, and avoid responding when it’s not necessary.
Remember to pick your battles wisely, so you don’t get distracted from achieving your life goals.
6. Build your mental strength with positivity
It’s easy to get affected by negativity when you expose yourself to it for too long and don’t have a strong mindset.
To be able to withstand hurtful comments from others, you need to consistently saturate your mind with positivity.
Work on strengthening your mind by regularly consuming uplifting affirmations, quotes, blog posts, and videos.
You can also find a role model you like and engage with their content until it becomes a part of your being.
If you don’t train your mind to be stronger than your emotions, you’ll keep losing yourself every time someone provokes you.
Personally, I love Steve Harvey, Oprah Winfrey, and Eric Thomas, so I listen to their messages on a regular basis.
When you impress your subconscious mind with positive things, it will take a lot more effort for other people’s opinions to negatively impact you.
7. Remember that you are beautifully and wonderfully created
Most times, when people say bad things about us, we internalize the negative words and forget that we are specially made by God.
To block out other people’s opinions of you, you need to always remember that you are an irreplaceable person in the world and there’s no one like you.
No matter what people say to bring you down, be aware of your Godly heritage and keep your head high.
You don’t need to be like someone else because you’re uniquely created and are blessed with a special gift to empower others and change lives while you’re here.
Don’t allow someone else to make you feel less than you are with their hurtful remarks because you’re an extraordinary being who’s deeply loved by God.
8. Stop trying to make everyone happy
Caring too much about what people think of you can lead to social anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions.
The key to being free from constant worry and people-pleasing tendencies is to acknowledge that you’re not responsible for anyone’s happiness.
Life is an individual race, and we are all supposed to look after ourselves before trying to mingle in another person’s affairs.
If you’re concerned about what people think of you, it’s because you care about pleasing them and making them happy.
Always remember that you’re not a clown who’s meant to make everybody laugh and no human being on earth is perfect.
We only get better in life when we make mistakes and learn from them, so give yourself a break.
Instead of focusing on making sure everyone is happy with you, try to work on making yourself proud.
9. Stay focused on your life goals
Negative comments have a way of throwing you off balance and making you doubt yourself even when you’re doing everything right.
The goal of naysayers is often to put you down and prevent you from growing into a better person.
They desperately want to keep you at their level so you won’t be bigger than them.
People who gossip others obviously have nothing going for them because if they were busy with something meaningful, they wouldn’t have the time nor energy to monitor another person’s life.
When you don’t understand how the world works, you’ll preoccupy yourself with other people’s words and spend a lot of time defending yourself, which will slow down your progress in life.
The best way to stop caring about what others think of you is to not let their negativity hold you back from fulfilling your life’s purpose.
When someone says something hurtful to you, redirect your attention to achieving your goals and building the life you want instead of wasting your time reacting or responding to them.
Unless it’s absolutely necessary, don’t give another person’s opinion a second thought.
Simply shrug it off as an idea you don’t need to engage with and go about your day.
As Morgan Freeman rightly said, “Don’t allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence.”
Know when to fight and when to hold your peace for the sake of your mental health.
Don’t lose yourself trying to understand why someone thinks or acts the way they do. Try to stay productive and continue to build your dream life.
Conclusion
Knowing how to stop caring about what people think of you is often challenging because we are social beings who like to belong to some community.
So it’s really important that people approve of us and accept us into their fold.
However, not everyone is wise enough to lead another person no matter how they appear or what they say.
It is often easier for people to talk than to take action in life; try to not let what someone says affect your mental health and everyday life.
When you let another person know that they have control over your emotions, they’ll keep trying to get a reaction from you.
If you ignore them long enough, they’ll eventually leave you alone because they have no power over you.
The key to staying unbothered is to develop a healthy self-concept and fortify your mind with positive things regularly.
When you listen to what others have to say about you, take only what’s valuable to your self-development journey and let go of the things that don’t resonate with you.
You don’t need to agree, react, or challenge another person’s opinion as long as you’re confident about yourself.
Once you know who you are and where you’re headed in life, it would be difficult for people to throw you off track or influence your actions.
Recommended Reading:
How To Stop Being A People Pleaser And Put Yourself First
How To Forgive Yourself For Past Mistakes And Move On
How To Be Okay With Being Alone
21 Bad Habits To Break If You Want To Be Happy
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.
As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.