Are you struggling to keep a long distance relationship alive? You are not alone!
Many couples are in long distance relationships all over the world and they are working hard to maintain it.
I used to be in a long distance relationship with my ex-boyfriend and it led to our disastrous break up.
While we were still together in school, our love was great and we seemed inseparable but the moment my boyfriend graduated, things turned sour and we had to go our separate ways.
Back then, I didn’t think of any reason or cause for our breakup.
I just concluded that maybe we just drifted apart but now that I think of it, I blame our break up on long distance.
After my boyfriend graduated, our communication level decreased drastically and gradually we stopped keeping in touch with each other.
Of course, the relationship would have been easier to maintain if we were in the same place at the same time but the long distance just drove us apart.
It was like a wall between us and we couldn’t see each other as frequently as we wanted to. It became frustrating and challenging just to remain in touch.
Are you married to an expat who travels regularly?
Are you currently dating someone who lives or works in another city?
Are you battling with communication issues?
Are you tired of the relationship and want to call it quits?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this post is for you.
WHAT DOES LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP MEAN?
If you’re not familiar with the concept, a long distance relationship is a romantic relationship between two people who live far apart and are unable to meet on a frequent basis.
Partners in this type of relationship face geographic separation and lack of face-to-face contact. They seem isolated from each other.
Being in a long distance relationship leaves you cranky, lonely and miserable most of the time.
But, because of your attachment to your love, it won’t be reasonable to go around sleeping with other people.
Long distance doesn’t give you an excuse to cheat on your partner; instead, it teaches you patience, trust, discipline, and self-control.
Whether you’ve just started the long distance journey or you’ve been in it for a while, it may seem endless and stressful.
HOW DO YOU SURVIVE IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP?
I used to be in a long distance relationship myself and it wasn’t all fun. There were days when I felt like calling it quits and finding someone closer.
But then I realized, it’s not just about having someone nearby but someone you have a solid emotional connection with.
It has to be someone who knows how to make you smile after a stressful day and who understands you more than anyone else can.
With the hookup culture taking over our society, true love has become difficult to find these days.
Almost all the guys who chase after you just want to get laid. They don’t care about who you are or what makes you happy.
All they care about is what they can get from you and move on to the next available girl. They are just plain selfish in their approach.
The best way to chase away the boredom and loneliness when your significant other is not around is to try out new hobbies.
Getting busy with other activities helps you to be independent instead of being emotionally clingy on another person.
HOW DO YOU KEEP A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP ALIVE?
How can you keep a long distance relationship alive when there are so many distractions lining up to destroy it?
You could spend some days being so busy that you forget to keep in touch with your partner and gradually the love fades and you drift apart.
But, if you’ve decided to make it work with your partner, a lot of hard work, communication, patience, trust, and self-control are needed from both of you.
Since we don’t know what our partners are up to most of the time, we need to just to let them go and trust them completely at the same time.
It’s quite tricky at first but when you learn to treat your partner with absolute trust, it pays in the long run.
What do you do if you notice you and your partner are drifting apart? Here are a few ways to keep a long distance relationship alive:
1. Plan visits in advance
Instead of waiting for fate to bring you together again, it’s more reasonable to plan frequent visits with your partner. This keeps the anticipation growing.
It makes you look forward to the special moments you would spend with your partner. My boyfriend and I used to visit each other every three months and it worked like magic for us.
2. Find things to do together
Even though you’re apart, you can both find things to do together at the same time. Sounds crazy right?
You could watch a movie or a TV show at the same time and discuss the details on the phone during or after the activity.
Other activities you could do together include playing games online at the same time, reading a novel within the same duration, etc. Find out what works for you and keep doing it regularly.
3. Talk to your partner frequently
I cannot overemphasize the need for communication in order to keep a long distance relationship alive.
Whether you’re together or apart, talking to your partner frequently, creates a special bond between both of you.
The more you talk, the more you learn new things about your partner and the more you bond with each other.
4. Send him gifts occasionally
If you want to keep a long-distance relationship alive, make sure you mark your partner’s birthday on a calendar to avoid forgetting the special event.
During special occasions like birthdays, Valentine’s Day or even Christmas, make a serious effort to send a present across to your sweetheart.
I’m sure it would be appreciated no matter how small. Little gifts mean a lot too.
Long Distance Relationship Gift Ideas for Couples
5. Write letters to him
Letters have slowly become a thing of the past in some societies because of all the gadgets we now possess.
But, I know a few people who still use letters as a means of communication in addition to technology.
Letters leave an everlasting impression on the heart. It reminds you of how caring and thoughtful your partner is. Plus, I think it’s absolutely romantic!
If you want to melt your partner’s heart in a long distance relationship, write a heartfelt letter and mail it to them.
6. Engage in video calls often
For the gadget owners who are either too busy or too lazy to write letters or even text messages, video call is your holy grail.
When you have a video call with your partner you get to see their face across the screen and it makes you feel less alone.
It keeps the love alive in a long distance relationship and gives you hope to continue working on it.
Set aside time for video chats and calls to help strengthen your communication and bond as a couple.
7. Try sending romantic chats or text messages
Romantic chats and love messages help to increase the intimacy that has been lost via distance in a relationship.
When you send your lover intimate text messages, it leaves them yearning for you. It also increases your anticipation to see each other again.
Anytime you miss your partner or think of them, let them know with a passionate love message from your heart.
You don’t have to come up with the perfect words to express your love, just tell them exactly how you feel in that moment.
50 Heart Touching Love Messages For Him
8. Be realistic about your expectations
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your partner because you want the relationship to work out.
Sometimes, a little breathing space is all we need. Giving each other a little space from time to time could actually bring you closer.
After trying so hard to keep a long distance relationship alive and it doesn’t seem to work, maybe it’s time to let go and focus on yourself.
It could simply mean that you placed too many expectations on your partner and neglected your own needs.
Instead of smothering your partner with affection all the time, learn to detach occasionally and keep yourself busy.
These are but a few ways you can keep a long distance relationship alive while you’re a thousand miles apart.
I’ve personally made use of almost everything on the list and it has helped my current relationship a lot.
Recommended reading:
108 Best Long Distance Relationship Quotes
10 Crystal Clear Signs You’re Dating the Right Guy
12 Things To Remember In A Relationship
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.
As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.