Marriage involves a lot of work and it’s important to know the marriage mistakes to avoid if you want a lasting marriage.
Do you have relationship goals that you regularly work on? How about relationship boundaries and rules that govern your relationship?
If you have any of the above, it’s also a good idea to know some of the common marriage mistakes to avoid so you can easily prevent divorce.
I’ve realized that when couples don’t enforce rules, there is no respect or discipline in their relationship.
Being married has taught me some really hard lessons and I’ve come pretty close to losing my husband but somehow, we always manage to get back on track.
I’ve made horrible marriage mistakes that threatened to take away the passionate love we shared and I don’t want you to follow the same route I did.
If you’re not aware of these marriage mistakes that lead to divorce, you’re already putting your relationship on the line.
For some married couples, these mistakes can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and that’s why it is necessary to avoid them at all costs.
Here are 9 terrible marriage mistakes to avoid in order to have a successful marriage:
9 TERRIBLE MARRIAGE MISTAKES TO AVOID
Marriage Mistake #1: Taking your husband for granted
It’s common for couples who have been together for a long time to take each other for granted.
This happens because of the level of friendship and familiarity that exists between a couple.
During the early stages of dating and before marriage, couples often try to impress each other by doing romantic things and being at their best behavior.
When you stop trying to make your husband feel wanted or appreciated, he’ll begin to nurture feelings of being unwanted or taken for granted.
To avoid such feelings, engage in daily romantic activities no matter how small.
Kiss him on the forehead before he leaves for work, drop cute love notes in his pocket, surprise him with a gift for no reason, send him a romantic text message when you’re apart.
These little romantic things can help to keep the love alive in your marriage. One of the common marriage mistakes to avoid is making your partner feel unloved.
If you want to have a lasting marriage, don’t ever take your spouse for your granted. Learn to appreciate him whenever you can.
Marriage Mistake #2: Rejecting him every time he wants intimacy
Intimacy is really important in a marriage because it helps to maintain the bond that couples already share.
Without intimacy, a marriage will feel like friendship or a business partnership.
Intimacy is the only secret thing you share with your spouse that others will never enjoy from you because it’s special.
Couples who fall apart are usually the ones who rarely get intimate with each other.
This often starts off with one spouse refusing intimacy several times and the other partner feeling rejected.
Intimacy is a big deal for most men; they cherish it so much and it’s their best way to connect with the woman they love.
I know as a wife, you’re probably stressed out with responsibilities and other stuff going on but you really need to carve out time for intimacy.
Don’t reject your husband more than two times in a row because when he continually feels rejected, he’ll stop wanting to get intimate with you.
And what happens when he can’t get it from you?
Of course, he’ll be tempted to get it from some other woman who is readily available and eager to connect with him emotionally.
The secret to enjoying lovemaking is to remind yourself that your husband loves you and that’s why he wants to get intimate with you.
When you adopt this kind of mindset, you’ll feel more in the mood to make love with your husband.
To help you reconnect with your spouse intimately, get this 120 Naughty Truth or Dare Game Cards designed for couples who desire more romance and intimacy.
As a married woman, it’s easy to throw yourself into work and completely forget about connecting with your spouse until he asks for it.
But, it doesn’t always have to be that way. You have to plan and prepare for intimacy the same way you plan your meals.
If you often run out of romantic things to do as a couple apart from making love, the 365 Days Of Romance will give you a list of couple activities you can do with your spouse every day to keep the passion alive.
Marriage Mistake #3: Choosing money over your husband
Money is often a big topic in marriage and divorce. The way couples handle money can make or break their relationship.
If you manage your finances with your spouse, it’s important to maintain transparency when it comes to money.
Avoid the temptation of hiding money from him, overspending or putting him down if you earn more than him.
Don’t put money first; always make your husband a priority. Work on your family budgets together and follow it until the end.
Plan your annual vacations as a couple and set money aside several months before you want to travel.
It can be tempting to override your husband and behave like a boss lady who doesn’t need a man when you have access to a lot of money.
If you’re in such a situation, don’t forget to share and remain humble because at the end of it all, you’ll realize that money can’t buy happiness and love conquers all.
Being greedy or selfish with money is among the common mistakes in marriage you need to avoid. So, in everything you do, always choose love over money.
But if your spouse is terrible at managing finances or dishonest when it comes to money, then you have to find a way around it.
Marriage Mistake #4: Staying angry at each other for a long time
While I agree that nobody is perfect, I have to say that prolonged conflicts and bottled up emotions can often lead to resentment in a relationship.
And when you start resenting your spouse, seeds of hatred are sown unconsciously in your heart which can make you fall out of love with him.
To prevent all of this, try to settle all your conflicts at the end of the day and most importantly, before you go to bed.
When you fight about something and you refuse to talk to each other, you won’t leave any room for reconciliation.
Most couples who resort to using silent treatments instead of communicating their feelings always end up farther apart.
If you want to have a happy marriage, don’t stay angry at your spouse for a long time.
It’s normal to get angry when you fight or quarrel over issues but making amends quickly is what will ensure that you have a truly healthy marriage.
250 GREAT CONVERSATION STARTERS FOR COUPLES
Marriage Mistake #5: Pretending to be happy when you’re not
In healthy relationships, being honest and transparent is the way to go if both couples want to remain together.
If you ever find out that you’re unhappy with your partner and you’re pretending like everything is okay, your relationship problems may never get resolved.
Instead you’ll find yourself feeling resentful towards your partner and this might lead to you falling out of love with him.
This is a terrible mistake a lot of married women make in their marriage because they feel that if they speak up their husband will take it the wrong way
Honestly, the best way to fix a broken relationship or save a failing marriage is to open up and talk to each other.
Having honest conversations will help you work on your relationship issues while you find the perfect solutions for your situation.
10 OBVIOUS SIGNS OF AN UNHAPPY MARRIAGE
Marriage Mistake #6: Bad-mouthing your spouse in public
Speaking in a harsh tone to your husband in public or talking bad about him to your family is never a good thing to do.
No matter what is going between you two, try to control your emotions and work things out peacefully or see a therapist together to fix your marital problems.
Bad-mouthing your spouse in public is just going to prove to everyone including your husband that you’re a terrible wife and this can drive you both apart.
Instead of nagging about your husband, try bragging about him to other people.
Build him up, don’t tear him down. Focus on what he’s doing right and stop pointing out what he’s doing wrong.
If you’re ever going to involve a third party in your marriage, let it be a therapist or your pastor.
Don’t make the mistake of disrespecting your husband in front of other people or raising your voice at him in front of the kids.
It’s totally shameful and your husband won’t like it. Mutual respect is important for a healthy marriage.
If you’ve been doing this before, stop it right away and don’t engage in such despicable behavior again if you want to have a lasting marriage with your spouse.
Marriage Mistake #7: Comparing your relationship with others
This may be easier said than done because a lot of people are often tempted to compare their marriage with someone else’s.
Social media even makes it worse with all the perfect couples flaunting their fake lifestyles all over the internet. It’s so easy to fall for the show but you don’t have to.
Comparing your marriage can cause a lot of damage to your relationship even if you didn’t intend to.
You may think it’s harmless to notice how your neighbors always make out outdoors but if you say this to your husband, he might feel as if he is not doing enough for you or your marriage.
When he starts thinking this way, he may begin to suffer from performance anxiety where he feels inadequate or unwanted.
The worst thing you can do to yourself or your marriage is to compare it to others. Don’t ever do this!
It’s not only harmful to your spouse but to you as well because you can become depressed when you think that you’re not at the same level with other people.
For the sake of your marriage and your sanity, don’t ever compare your relationship with others.
Be content with what you have with your spouse but keep working to improve it.
Marriage Mistake #8: Placing your kids above your husband
This is one of the biggest marriage mistakes to avoid if you don’t want a broken home or a divorce.
Your spouse should always be your number one priority whether you have kids or not.
Unless your husband is abusive, manipulative or narcissistic then it’s okay to put him first in your life because when the kids grow up, they’ll likely leave the nest and it would be just the two of you again.
Marriage is meant for companionship not kids but if you mutually decide to have kids, don’t put them first. I know you might find this strange but it’s the truth.
The number one complaint I hear from married men is that they’re no longer getting enough attention from their wife since after childbirth.
It’s obviously exhausting to take care of the kids, your home and maybe work too but try to schedule some romance time as often as possible.
Infidelity often happens when one spouse feels unwanted or unloved and this lack of attention or love can make them look for new partners elsewhere.
Even though you think this is not right or fair, there are many married people who cheat because of this.
To avoid marriage problems, don’t ever make the mistake of placing your kids above your husband.
Marriage Mistake #9: Being unfaithful to your spouse
I’m not supposed to be adding this particular marriage mistake to the list but I will because I’ve realized that so many people do not count emotional cheating as infidelity.
Sleeping with someone is not the only way you can be unfaithful to your spouse.
If you’re secretly entertaining gifts from admirers and chatting flirtatiously with someone other than your husband, that’s emotional cheating.
When you begin to hide your chats or delete received messages from an acquaintance, that’s a sign that you’re definitely doing something wrong.
If you’re confused about how to classify this, just ask yourself how your spouse will feel if he found out about your interaction with someone.
When you’re in a committed relationship, it’s disrespectful and unfair to connect emotionally or intimately with another person other than your spouse.
You may think it’s just friendship or harmless flirtation but it could turn into a secret affair before you even know what’s happening.
This is the main reason why it’s not good to have any emotional ties outside your marriage unless it’s family.
Many people don’t know that emotional cheating is one of the biggest marriage mistakes to avoid. It’s really devastating when a spouse finds out. Don’t do it!
These are some of the marriage mistakes to avoid if you don’t want an unhappy marriage and a broken relationship.
If you can avoid them, you’ll have a happy relationship with your partner. If you’ve ever wondered what marriage mistakes to avoid, I’ve given you a comprehensive list.
Making mistakes in marriage is sometimes unavoidable but if you’re aware of the triggers, you’ll be more equipped to fix your marriage when you have problems with your spouse.
Recommended Reading:
12 Common Reasons Why Marriages Fail
How To Prevent Divorce In Your Marriage