5 Causes Of Lack Of Self-confidence And How To Get Rid Of Them

5 reasons why you don't feel confident

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Do you find yourself hiding away while all the action is taking place? Do you struggle in social situations, or constantly put yourself down?

If so, you may be suffering from a lack of self-confidence and you’re not alone.

Low self-confidence is a lot more common than you may realise, with people who look confident often putting on a front.

However, knowing that others may feel the same as you doesn’t make lack of self-confidence any easier to deal with, especially in social situations or interviews.

If a lack of self-confidence is holding you back in life, then life coaching can help you tackle these problems and get you moving towards your future goals.

When you notice common symptoms of lack of confidence like increased heart rate, sweaty palms and an upset stomach when you’re in the spotlight, don’t hide away from others and allow the situation to get worse.

Find healthy ways to deal with your low confidence on your own and seek professional help if you can’t manage it by yourself.

Overcoming lack of confidence is not often easy because you can become consumed by so much fear and anxiety that you’ll find it difficult to cope in life.

In this post, I’m going to share 5 root causes of lack of self-confidence and how you can easily get rid of them.


When you don’t feel confident enough, you may struggle to fit in and engage with other people.

It’s okay to be on your own and do your own things but sometimes it’s necessary to put yourself out there.

If you’re experiencing severe signs of lack of confidence that are preventing you from enjoying your life, you need to seek the help of a life coach or therapist.

Listening to motivational speakers and reading inspirational books can also help you increase your self-confidence.

To help you understand your problem and why it’s happening to you, take a look at these major causes of lack of self-confidence:

Causes of lack of self confidence

#1 You can’t let go of past issues

If you were bullied as a child or you experienced a traumatic event, this can greatly affect your self worth.

When people maltreat you or abuse you in any way, it can often affect you negatively to the extent that you may find it difficult to live a normal life.

Emotional, cognitive or psychological issues can easily be resolved with the help of a certified therapist or psychologist.

The key difference between a therapist and a life coach is that a therapist will help you deal with past events, and a life coach will help you look towards the future.

That said, therapy does not suit everyone and there’s no reason why life coaching can’t delve into your history, especially if you’re in a good place generally, but just need a little help to overcome past trauma.

For example, if a previous boss doubted your ability, you might not feel confident enough in your next role.

A life coach will bring you into the present moment, to help you reassess how you think about yourself.

They’ll help you overcome any stumbling blocks that are preventing you from putting your best foot forward.

#2 You aren’t surrounded by the right people

Being surrounded by negative people or toxic friends who constantly put you down is one of the fastest ways to lose your self confidence.

When you stay around people with bad vibes, it can negatively impact your self worth because you’ll indirectly absorb everything into your subconscious.

The best way to increase your self confidence in this case is to disassociate yourself from the negative environment that is influencing you badly and try to rewire your brain with positive thoughts.

A big part of life coaching involves being asked a series of questions, some of which will dig into why you haven’t reached the personal goals that you want to.

If a lack of confidence is one of the main reasons, then you need to ask yourself why this is.

In some cases, those closest to you could be contributing to the problem, or you may not have found people who share your vision to help build you up. 

While you must be able to feel confident without relying on others, you also need to learn how to identify unhealthy relationships which can drag you down.

If the people you spend the most time with aren’t supportive and don’t give you positive energy, then this makes it all the more difficult for you to thrive. 

Life coaching will give you a huge boost of motivation as your coach will be a source of constant positive energy.

All that’s left for you to do is reflect this within yourself and seek out like-minded people to join you on your mission to personal fulfillment. 

Causes of lack of self confidence

#3 You’re afraid of failure

Thinking about what could go wrong if you try something new is often what stops people from trying in the first place.

Instead of being confident in their abilities, they picture others laughing at them and they become afraid of rejection, financial ruin or other disastrous consequences. 

However, not everyone gets things right the first time and that’s okay – no one is perfect, but it’s important to remember that you didn’t fail because you’re not good enough.

Your life coach will help you create a plan of action, so instead of rushing ahead with an idea, you have a chance to think everything through.

That way, you can stand tall despite the obstacles when you aim for your goals because you’re prepared for any challenges that may arise.

#4 You aren’t reaching your potential

Most people don’t feel like the best version of themselves if they feel that they are underachieving or not meeting up to the expectations of others.

If you know deep down that you’re destined for great things, then it’s time to go grab what it is that you want out of life without being afraid of what might go wrong.

As soon as you make that decision in your head, you’re already going to notice a shift in your mindset.

Coupled with life coaching sessions that are going to help you overcome any issues that have prevented you from achieving your goals before, you’ll soon become unstoppable.

Working with a life coach is your chance to eliminate the negative thoughts that you might have about yourself, and enjoy the incredible boost to your self-esteem this will bring as a result.

Causes of lack of self confidence

#5 You don’t have a positive mindset

A lot of people who suffer from low self-confidence also struggle with negative thoughts all the time.

This is because when you’re always focused on the negative aspects of your life, you will keep experiencing toxic manifestations in your reality.

It’s no wonder your self-esteem is at rock bottom if you constantly think negatively.

In many cases, a negative mindset is due to the influences or past experiences that seek to cast doubt in your mind rather than build you up. 

Start taking note of your daily thoughts and whenever you notice that you’re saying a lot of negative things in your head, replace them with positive thoughts.

As well as working with you to change your mindset, your life coach will take a look at your general lifestyle.

They will help you to become a person who takes care of yourself mentally and physically, so that you feel more comfortable when socialising and networking.

Before long, you’ll feel totally transformed, because you’re starting the day with the right outlook.

Having a low self-confidence often limits you in reaching your full potential and if you want to live your life to the fullest, you have to work on your self worth.

I’ve given you some root causes of lack of self-confidence and how you can get rid of them in your life.

When you lack self-confidence, you shy away from reaching your ambitions, especially if they involve social gatherings or public speaking.

However, the good news is that overcoming lack of confidence is a lot easier than you think. 

A life coach will help you understand where your issues stem from and also guide you to find the right solution for lack of confidence in your life.

They’ll also help you move past your stumbling blocks so that you can aim to get everything that you want out of life.

Compared with continuing as you are, your future self will be so glad you put the work in now to make a change.

Don’t shy away from seeking professional help because it could really make a big difference in your life.

Deal with these causes of low confidence on time before it ruins your life completely. You deserve to enjoy life and reach your full potential.

Don’t let your low self esteem stop you from reaching for the stars. Have the courage to fight your demons; you’ll surely come out victorious.


Recommended Reading:

10 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence

How To Overcome Challenges In Life

10 Outstanding Traits of a Confident Person

10 Simple Steps To Get Rid Of Fear And Anxiety

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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