Are you on the verge of breaking up with your partner because you can’t solve your relationship problems?
It’s devastating to lose someone you love after spending many wonderful years together and creating beautiful memories as a couple.
The good news is that it’s never too late to fix a failing relationship as long as you’re still in love with each other.
Whether you’re contemplating breaking up or fixing it, there is a good chance you can save your relationship and keep the love alive.
All you have to do is work together as a team and be patient with each other while you put your relationship back on track.
If you don’t know what to do when your relationship is at a breaking point, I’m going to outline a few steps you can take to steer your relationship in the right direction.
HOW TO SOLVE RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS WITHOUT BREAKING UP
Research shows that the top causes of relationship problems are interfering family members, lack of communication, trust issues, infidelity, and lack of financial planning.
In this article, we’ll discuss 12 actionable steps on how to solve relationship problems without breaking up with your partner.
If you’re wondering, “How can I save my relationship?” here’s what to do instead of breaking up:
1. Apologize from the bottom of your heart
Sometimes people make mistakes and hurt their partners, but they are too proud to take full responsibility for their actions and say sorry.
Refusing to apologize can destroy the emotional connection you have in your romantic relationship.
Reflect on the incidents that led you and your partner to this point. Does anything significant stand out? Did you do anything to offend your partner?
When you search your heart and discover that you’ve offended your partner or contributed to the failure of your relationship, apologize sincerely.
A good apology that comes from the heart is the first step to fixing a failing relationship.
2. Identify your communication styles
One of the most common relationship problems couples struggle with is poor communication.
Knowing how to communicate effectively as a couple can help to prevent conflict in your relationship.
According to Dr. John Gottman, there are four toxic communication styles that predict divorce and break-up.
How do you express your thoughts and feelings when you’re upset? Do you criticize your partner or play the blame game?
Analyze your communication patterns and find better ways to discuss your problems as a couple.
When you discover how to prevent small disagreements from turning into heated arguments, you’ll have a peaceful, long-term relationship.
3. Figure out what the real problem is
Research shows that couples often fight about the same thing all the time. This usually happens because they don’t focus on the specific problem at hand when they fight.
The most important thing to do when you’re fighting with your partner is to have a serious talk about what the real problem is and focus on finding the right solutions together.
Normally, there are several underlying issues that are unresolved when couples have been fighting for a long time.
The first thing to do when you’re trying to fix a relationship is to identify the real issue that needs a solution. This way, you’ll know exactly what to focus on and how to handle it.
4. Don’t bring up past mistakes
One major mistake couples make when they’re trying to fix a relationship problem is to bring up past issues that have nothing to do with what they’re currently fighting about.
If you want to solve your relationship issues with ease, avoid complicating things by bringing up the past.
When you focus on more than one problem at a time, you’ll easily get sidetracked from the real problem at hand and you’ll keep running in circles.
If a particular event that happened in the past doesn’t relate to your current problem, don’t bring it up.
Instead, focus on the real problem you’re dealing with at the moment and work on finding a good solution.
5. Keep your emotions under control
A small argument can easily escalate into a huge fight if you don’t control your temper.
Most times when one partner raises their voice during a fight, it triggers an aggressive response from the other partner.
The best way to neutralize a fight before it escalates is to stay calm and speak in a reassuring tone.
When you’re itching to raise your voice to prove your point, try to remain calm and practice being patient and understanding toward your partner.
Before you have a difficult conversation, take a deep breath to slow down your pace and be prepared to listen attentively before you pitch your own ideas.
6. Take turns to communicate your needs clearly
One of the most common relationship issues couples complain about is unmet needs. This often happens due to a lack of communication in a relationship.
If you’re confused about how to solve communication problems in a relationship, identify what your needs are in the first place then take turns explaining what you need from each other.
When people don’t know what they want, they find it hard to communicate their needs and expectations in a new relationship.
If you know what you want from a partner, you’ll be able to articulate your needs clearly.
7. Give each other undivided attention during conversations
Healthy communication involves listening attentively, speaking up about your needs openly, and being empathetic toward each other.
The most important thing to do when you’re discussing serious issues in your relationship is to pay attention to what’s being said.
Listen closely, be mindful of your words, and try to understand your partner’s feelings before making a comment.
Ideally, the goal of an argument in a healthy relationship is to understand each other better rather than to win.
Before you have any important conversation with your partner, eliminate all distractions so you can fully focus on each other.
8. Speak your love languages regularly
Being able to express love to your partner in a way that your partner can understand is the best way to fill up their love tank.
Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert and family therapist emphasizes the importance of knowing and speaking your partner’s love language.
In his book, The 5 Love Languages, he categorizes the way people feel loved the most into words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts, and quality time.
Do you know what your partner’s love language is? Do you know what makes them feel loved and special?
Does your romantic partner know your love language? These are important questions that need to be answered.
When you’re on the brink of breaking up with your partner, commit to speaking your love language at least once a day.
If you successfully make each other feel loved, you’ll be able to increase your bond and keep the love alive in your relationship.
9. Be transparent and honest with each other
One of the greatest challenges in every romantic relationship is a lack of trust.
If you’re struggling with trust issues as a couple, learn to be honest and transparent in everything you do.
You may think that hiding things from your partner will help to prevent conflict but doing this can be dangerous in the long run.
A breach of trust is the biggest problem you’ll ever have to deal with in a relationship.
If your partner discovers that you’ve been keeping secrets from them, you may lose their trust, and getting it back will be difficult.
Avoid sneaking behind your partner to do things and always tell them the truth when you’re passing information.
When you’re both honest with each other, you’ll develop an intimate connection that’s unbreakable.
10. Stop taking advice from family members
When you’re battling to fix relationship problems, your family members may want to meddle in your affairs and offer unsolicited advice.
While they’re ultimately looking out for your best interests, they won’t be able to provide the right solution to your issues because they’re unqualified to resolve conflicts in a romantic relationship.
Taking advice from family members can further complicate your problems so refrain from complaining to them or seeking advice from them even if they’re trustworthy.
11. Invest 100% of your time and energy into the relationship
You’ll have a better chance to fix a broken relationship when you’re both willing to invest equal amounts of time and effort into it.
Instead of relying on your partner to make a positive change, identify areas of weakness in your relationship that you can work on together.
The strongest relationships don’t happen magically; they are the result of continuous effort from two people who refuse to give up on each other.
If you want to save your relationship, be willing to put in more effort to make it work.
12. Talk to a relationship coach or couples counselor
When you’ve done all you can to solve your relationship problems on your own without success, consider talking to a professional or enrolling in couples therapy.
Sometimes, the best way to improve your relationship is to seek professional help. Going for counseling as a couple can help you get out of the rough patch faster.
Ideally, the last resort for fixing a failing relationship is to consult a relationship coach or couples counselor who is qualified to help you resolve your problems.
If you’ve been thinking of how to save your relationship, I’ve outlined 12 actionable steps you can take instead of breaking up with your partner.
When you’re going through a rough patch with your partner, you may feel that breaking up is the best option because you want a happy relationship.
The truth is, there is no perfect relationship and the only way to have a great relationship is to keep nurturing what you have until it blossoms.
If you’re asking, “Can you fix problems in relationships and be together again?” the short answer is yes.
You can rebuild your relationship with your partner if you’re both willing to put in the work.
In a nutshell, learn to be a good listener, always have good intentions toward your partner, communicate your emotional needs clearly and be willing to say sorry when you’re wrong.
These are some of the best ways to avoid common relationship problems as a couple.