How To Stay Calm When You Feel Disrespected

How to stay calm when you feel disrespected

Have you ever been in a situation where someone says or does something that makes you feel disrespected? It’s infuriating, isn’t it?

Your blood starts to boil, your heart races, and you have an overwhelming urge to lash out in anger. But that rarely ends well.

One of the most important things to do when you feel disrespected is to pause and take a deep breath.

Deep breathing can help you calm your nervous system and regain your composure.

In this article, we provide practical tips on how to handle disrespect gracefully.

How to stay calm when you feel disrespected


Staying calm when faced with disrespect can be challenging, but it’s essential for maintaining your emotional well-being and handling the situation effectively.

Here are some tips to help you stay calm when someone disrespects you:

1. Recognize when you’re being disrespected

Being disrespected always hurts, but staying calm and composed is the best way to handle it.

First, recognize the signs of disrespect. Pay attention to the other person’s words and body language.

Are they raising their voice, calling you names, or getting in your personal space? Those are clear signs of disrespect.

But also look for more subtle cues like sarcasm, eye rolls, or dismissiveness.

Once you identify the disrespect, take a deep breath and remain calm. Reacting angrily will only make the situation worse.

Try to not engage or argue with the person. Do not insult them back or make threats. Remain polite but disengage from the interaction as quickly as possible.

Say something simple like “We’ll have to agree to disagree” or “Let’s continue this discussion when we’ve both cooled off.” Then remove yourself from the situation.

Take some time to reflect on the underlying reasons. Analyze why their words or actions felt disrespectful to you.

Were they actually being rude or did it trigger an emotional wound or sensitivity in you?

Understanding the reasons for your reaction can help you better address similar situations in the future and not take the other person’s behavior personally.

2. Don’t take it personally

When someone disrespects you, it can feel like a personal attack.

But the truth is, their behavior says more about them than it does about you, so don’t take it personally.

Their insults and contempt reflect their own issues, insecurities, and inner struggles.

As the saying goes, “Hurt people hurt people.” Try not to make their problems your own.

Stay calm and remember that you cannot control how others act, you can only control your reaction. 

Respond with empathy, if at all. Say something like “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Then, walk away.

Distance yourself from their negativity. Do not dwell on their words or ruminate about the interaction.

Let it go and shift your focus to the good things in your own life. The opinions of those who put you down ultimately do not matter.

You know your worth, so do not let anyone else define your value or shake your confidence in yourself. Do not give them power over you.

Their cruelty says everything about them and nothing about you. Pity them, forgive them, and free yourself from their grasp.

Stay calm and remember your strength comes from within, not from the approval or validation of others.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, so choose not to consent. 

How to stay calm when you feel disrespected

3. Control your reaction

When someone disrespects you, it can be difficult to stay calm, but losing your cool will likely make the situation worse.

Here’s how to react when you feel disrespected:

• Take a deep breath: Take a moment to pause and breathe slowly and deeply. This can help lower your heart rate and blood pressure, shifting you to a calmer state of mind.

• Don’t take the bait: Do not engage or argue with the disrespectful person. Respond in a courteous, professional manner without escalating the conflict. Their behavior says more about them, so try not to take the insult personally.

• Respond assertively: Politely but firmly tell the person their comment was disrespectful and unacceptable. You do not deserve to be treated that way. If speaking up feels unsafe, silently walk away. 

• Focus on the current situation: Do not bring unrelated past events or future worries into the present moment. Deal with what is happening right now, and avoid catastrophizing or making negative judgments about the other person.

• Take a break if needed: If tensions continue to rise, remove yourself from the situation until you both calm down. Let the other person know you will continue the discussion later. This can prevent further damage to your relationship. 

• Stay confident in yourself: Do not let someone else’s cruelty or thoughtlessness shake your self-confidence. Their actions say everything about them and nothing about you. Remind yourself of your strengths, values, and accomplishments.

Responding in a composed and thoughtful manner when facing disrespect can help defuse the situation, and even strengthen your self-control.

Do not stoop to the level of hostility— remain calm and carry on with dignity. Remember that you have control over how you respond to disrespect.

Instead of reacting impulsively, take a step back and choose a response that aligns with your values and promotes a healthy resolution.

4. Practice empathy

Practicing empathy when you feel disrespected by someone can help you keep your cool.

Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand why the other person acted that way.

Maybe they’re having a bad day or dealing with personal struggles you know nothing about.

See the situation from their perspective, not just your own. Ask yourself what might be motivating their behavior.

Try to understand that the disrespect you’re facing may stem from the other person’s insecurities, frustrations, or lack of understanding.

Empathizing with their perspective can help you detach emotionally and respond with understanding rather than anger.

Remind yourself that their actions say more about them than about you. Don’t take the bait and engage in hurtful behavior yourself.

Respond with empathy and compassion. Say something like “It seems like you may be upset. Is there anything I can do to help?”

This approach often defuses the situation and makes the other person realize their behavior was uncalled for.

Staying calm when you’re disrespected allows you to be the bigger person. Do not stoop to their level by hurling insults or personal attacks in return.

Respond respectfully and move on from the interaction as quickly as possible. Do not engage further if the person continues to be rude or threatening.

Keeping your composure and showing empathy is the best way to handle disrespectful behavior directed at you.

Do not give anyone else power over your emotions or actions. Choose to respond with patience, kindness, and understanding.

This approach will leave you with a clear conscience and prevent further conflict.

How to stay calm when you feel disrespected

5. Communicate your boundaries clearly

When someone disrespects you, it can be easy to get emotional and react angrily. However, that usually escalates the issue.

The best approach is to remain calm, think before you speak, and communicate your boundaries.

Calmly and politely tell the person their behavior is unacceptable. Say something like “Please do not speak to me that way. It is disrespectful.”

Be specific about what they said or did that was disrespectful, without insulting them back.

Let them know that kind of behavior will not be tolerated. If it continues, you will have to remove yourself from the interaction.

If the person continues to disrespect you after you have stated your boundaries, walking away is often the best option.

Say “I will not engage with you when you are behaving this way” and remove yourself from the situation. Do not argue or engage in further confrontation.

Taking a walk or stepping away to calm down and collect your thoughts can help defuse the emotional reaction.

Be prepared to issue appropriate consequences if the disrespect continues, especially if it’s in a work or family relationship.

You may need to limit contact with the person or report their behavior to the proper authorities.

The key is following through with the consequences you establish. Do not make empty threats.

People will not take your boundaries seriously if you do not enforce them.

State your position, set clear boundaries, and be prepared to walk away from the interaction if needed.

With consistency, the person will learn that their behavior will not be tolerated.

6. Know when to walk away

Sometimes the healthiest thing to do is remove yourself from a disrespectful situation.

Staying calm is ideal, but don’t feel obligated to endure abuse or toxicity.

When a person continues to insult, degrade, or bully you after trying to address it respectfully, it’s time to walk away.

Politely and confidently tell them their language is unacceptable, then exit the interaction. 

You don’t owe anyone an explanation or apology for refusing to engage with disrespect.

Your mental health and self-worth come first. Remove yourself without guilt.

Take a timeout to prevent reacting angrily or impulsively. Walking away allows you both space to cool off and gain perspective.

The other person may even realize their mistake and approach you later in a more constructive way.

Disrespect is never acceptable, but you have the power to control your reactions and responses.

Choose to rise above the situation by remaining calm and staying true to your values.

Don’t let anyone else’s cruelty or thoughtlessness provoke you into becoming someone you’re not.

Walk away with your head held high, knowing you did the right thing by refusing to engage in hostility or aggression.


Staying calm when disrespected comes down to a few key things.

Firstly, don’t take the bait. If you react angrily, you’ve already lost the battle. Take a few deep breaths and remain composed.

If you must address the disrespect, use “I” statements to express your feelings and concerns without escalating the situation.

For example, say, “I felt hurt when you said/did that” instead of blaming or accusing the other person.

Secondly, remember that the other person’s words say more about them than about you. Their insults are a reflection of their pain and anger, so don’t make their words your truth.

Finally, be the bigger person and walk away. Remove yourself from the situation until you’ve both cooled down.

You can also talk to people who love and respect you to help keep your emotions under control. 

Remember, you can always rise above disrespectful behavior and choose peace of mind.

Stay calm, remain confident in who you are, and don’t let anyone drag you down. 


Recommended reading:

10 Subtle Signs Of Disrespect In A Relationship

12 Warning Signs Your Partner Is Taking You For Granted

How To Manage Your Emotions Better

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi
 | Blog

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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