In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel valued, appreciated, and respected.
However, sometimes one partner may start taking the other for granted, leading to an imbalance in the partnership.
Do you think your significant other is taking you for granted? Maybe they overlook your needs, disregard your feelings, or criticize you for making little mistakes.
When a partner takes you for granted, it can make you feel neglected, unloved, and unimportant.
The good news is if you can spot the signs early, you’ll have a better chance of putting your relationship back on track and building a solid connection with your partner.
In this blog post, we’ll discuss some warning signs your partner is taking you for granted and provide tips on how to address these issues in your relationship.
12 WARNING SIGNS YOUR PARTNER IS TAKING YOU FOR GRANTED
Do you find yourself constantly questioning whether your partner truly appreciates you and values all you do? You deserve to feel loved and supported in your relationship.
If you’re in a committed relationship but feel unappreciated and undervalued, here’s how to tell if your partner is taking you for granted:
1. They treat you poorly
One of the biggest signs your partner doesn’t value you is that they treat you like crap.
Does your partner blow you off when you want to spend time together?
Or maybe they never say “please” or “thank you” anymore. If so, your partner may be taking you for granted.
A good partner who values you will be polite and show appreciation regularly.
When was the last time your significant other complimented you or said how much you mean to them? Little gestures like these keep a relationship strong.
Do they expect you to do things for them but never return the favor? Healthy relationships are based on mutual give and take. If it feels one-sided, speak up.
Don’t stay silent. Tell your partner how their behavior makes you feel and what they can do to strengthen your bond again.
It may feel uncomfortable, but communicating in a caring way is the first step to gaining back the appreciation and closeness you once shared.
2. Your needs and desires are consistently overlooked
Do you feel like your needs always come second to your partner’s?
Are your desires routinely brushed aside or ignored altogether? If so, it sounds like they’ve started taking you for granted.
Here are sure signs you’re being undervalued in your relationship:
• Your partner makes plans without consulting you. They assume your schedule is wide open to accommodate whatever they want to do.
• Intimacy and affection feel like an afterthought. Quick pecks replace real kisses and cuddling is a thing of the past.
• Your accomplishments and milestones go unnoticed. They can’t be bothered to ask how your day was or say “Congratulations!” when something goes well for you.
• They break promises and bail on commitments to you without apology. Your time and feelings just don’t seem to matter much anymore.
If any of this rings true, it’s time to speak up.
Let your partner know their thoughtlessness is damaging your relationship and that you need to get the appreciation, consideration, and priority you deserve.
3. They make big decisions without asking you what you think
A healthy relationship involves considering and prioritizing the needs and desires of both partners.
If your partner consistently makes decisions without consulting you or dismisses your opinions, it could indicate that they’re taking your input for granted.
Maybe your partner buys a new car or house without discussing it with you first.
Or they plan vacations and schedule social events without checking if the dates work for you.
It feels like your opinions and availability don’t factor into the decisions that also impact you. After a while, you may feel more like an afterthought than an equal partner.
While independence and autonomy are important in a relationship, discussing significant choices together is a sign of mutual respect.
If your partner frequently leaves you out of the decision-making process, have an open conversation about how their actions make you feel undervalued.
Compromise and finding common ground will be key to improving the situation.
4. They don’t respect your boundaries
Do you feel like your partner doesn’t respect your need for alone time or privacy anymore? If so, this is a sign they’re taking you for granted.
When you first start dating, your partner usually asks before making plans or dropping by unannounced.
But over time, these courtesies often fall by the wayside as the relationship becomes more comfortable.
However, that doesn’t make it okay for your partner to disregard your boundaries or personal space.
If your partner frequently shows up at your place uninvited, reads through your messages or emails without asking, or shares details about you with others that you wish to keep private, this behavior is unacceptable.
Let your partner know that while you value your closeness, you also value your independence and privacy. Be very clear about what they can and can’t do.
If they continue to disrespect reasonable limits after you’ve expressed yourself, this is a major red flag that the relationship needs work.
Don’t let your partner use comfort as an excuse to stomp all over your boundaries.
You deserve a healthy relationship where you each maintain your own separate identities and respect one another’s personal space.
Speak up now before resentment builds and the damage becomes irreparable.
5. They keep breaking their promises
We all make mistakes sometimes, but frequently bailing on you or not following through shows a lack of respect for you.
When your partner continuously breaks their promises to you, it’s a sign they don’t value your time or feelings.
If they say they’ll call but don’t, forget important dates, or cancel plans at the last minute with lame excuses, it demonstrates you’re not a priority in their life.
Your time and schedule seem unimportant to them. They don’t care if their broken promises inconvenience you or disrupt your life.
Do your partner’s words often feel empty? If you can’t trust or rely on what they say, this can damage the foundation of your relationship.
Do you feel disrespected and unappreciated? Broken vows and unkept pledges chip away at your self-worth and the esteem you have for your partner.
Constantly broken commitments will eventually break you and make you give up on the relationship.
Have an honest conversation with your partner about how their behavior makes you feel and that it needs to change if they want to keep you in their life.
6. They don’t make time for you
Another big sign your partner is taking you for granted is that they rarely make time for meaningful interactions.
For example, date nights may have become a thing of the past, and couple outings are nonexistent.
If your partner doesn’t make an effort to spend quality time with you regularly, that’s a sign they’re taking you for granted.
Do they cancel plans with you last minute to do something else? Or do they avoid planning dates altogether because they’re “too busy”?
Even when you do spend time together, they seem distracted or disinterested in meaningful interaction.
They cut conversations short and avoid eye contact, preferring to focus on their phone or the TV instead of connecting with you.
The relationship lacks intimacy and feels more like a partnership of convenience than a loving bond between two caring individuals.
If this sounds familiar, you need to have an honest conversation with your partner about the state of the relationship and what you both need to do to improve intimacy and strengthen your emotional connection.
Making time for meaningful interactions and deep conversations is essential for any healthy relationship.
If your partner isn’t willing to make that time for you, it’s a sign they’ve stopped appreciating you.
While life certainly gets hectic, your relationship should still be a priority. A caring partner will make the effort to reconnect and strengthen your bond.
If your partner is consistently choosing other responsibilities, hobbies, or people over you, that shows a lack of regard for your needs and the relationship as a whole.
Let them know their behavior is unacceptable before the distance between you becomes irreparable.
7. They forget important dates or plans
If your partner frequently forgets important dates like your birthday, anniversary, or other special occasions that are meaningful to you, it may be a sign they are taking you for granted.
Do they make excuses for forgetting or not even apologize? Do they plan dates or activities for the two of you to do together?
Or do you always have to be the one making an effort to spend quality time with your significant other?
A caring partner will make an effort to remember and celebrate important moments with you.
While everyone is prone to forget once in a while, frequent forgetfulness and lack of effort are red flags.
Speak up and let your partner know that these occasions are meaningful to you and you feel underappreciated when they are overlooked or forgotten.
Give them another chance, but if their behavior doesn’t change, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.
You deserve a partner who makes you feel loved and appreciated.
8. They rarely express gratitude or appreciation
One of the most visible signs that your partner is taking you for granted is a lack of gratitude and appreciation for your efforts, support, or kindness.
Do you feel like your partner has stopped expressing gratitude for the little things you do? Do they neglect to say “Please” and “Thank you”?
This lack of common courtesy is a sign they are taking your efforts for granted.
A simple “Thanks for doing the dishes” or “Please walk the dog” goes a long way in showing they appreciate you and respect what you contribute to the relationship.
If your partner rarely acknowledges your efforts or fails to express gratitude for the things you do, it’s easy to feel unappreciated and resentful over time.
Let them know their lack of gratitude has been hurtful, and that you need to feel valued through their words and actions.
Don’t be accusatory, just explain how their courtesy and appreciation make a difference in how secure and happy you feel as a couple.
With open communication, you can get back on track to expressing gratitude and avoid the assumption that your partner’s efforts are a given.
9. They criticize everything you do
A partner who takes you for granted may exhibit overly critical or dismissive behavior.
If your partner consistently belittles your achievements, undermines your feelings, or dismisses your concerns, it could be a sign that they don’t fully appreciate or value you.
Nothing you do seems to please them anymore.
Your partner often finds fault with small, insignificant things and makes hurtful comments about your appearance, habits, or intelligence.
Do they roll their eyes or make sarcastic remarks when you express your opinion or share your interests?
Are they overly critical about trivial matters like how you load the dishwasher or fold the laundry?
Do they make personal attacks on your looks, weight, or other attributes to make you feel bad about yourself?
This behavior is unacceptable and damaging to your self-esteem and the relationship.
Let your partner know their criticism and contempt are hurtful and need to stop.
You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Don’t stay silent—speak up and stand up for yourself.
10. They disrespect you in public
Has your partner ever called you names, yelled at you, or insulted you in front of others?
This behavior shows a complete lack of respect. A caring partner would never deliberately embarrass or shame you, especially not in public.
If your partner does any of these things, they’re taking you for granted:
• Putting you down in front of friends and family: Saying hurtful things about your looks, intelligence, or accomplishments that others can hear is humiliating and inexcusable.
• Yelling or starting arguments in social situations: Causing a scene by angrily confronting you at a party or event shows they care more about expressing their anger than your feelings.
• Breaking promises or ditching plans at the last minute: If your partner agrees to attend an important work function or family event with you but then backs out with little notice, it leaves you stranded and conveys the message that their time is more valuable than yours.
No one deserves to be treated this way by someone who claims to care about them.
Have a serious conversation with your partner about their hurtful behavior, and don’t settle for empty apologies.
Respect and kindness are the foundation of a healthy relationship. If they continue to disrespect you despite your efforts, consider walking away.
11. They rarely ask about your dreams or goals
Do you feel like your partner only cares about their ambitions and rarely asks about yours? This is a sign they may be taking you for granted.
Healthy relationships involve supporting each other’s hopes and dreams.
If your partner doesn’t seem interested in your goals or aspirations, it shows a lack of care and concern for your well-being and happiness.
Here are telltale signs your partner is unsupportive:
• They never ask follow-up questions when you share an accomplishment or something you’re working towards.
• They tend to steer conversations back to themselves and their pursuits rather than showing interest in yours.
• Their eyes glaze over when you start talking about your work or the things that excite or motivate you.
• They tend to be dismissive or make excuses when you ask for their input or support in achieving a goal.
Your purpose and meaning in life matter, and the right partner will recognize that.
Don’t settle for someone who can’t be bothered to support you in pursuing your dreams and becoming the person you want to be.
You deserve a teammate who will cheer you on through all of life’s goals and adventures.
12. They don’t reciprocate your efforts
Do you plan nice dates, give thoughtful gifts, or offer kind gestures, only to have them go unappreciated?
Your partner should express gratitude for the things you do and reciprocate kind acts to show they care.
If you can’t remember the last time they said “Thank you” or did something nice in return, it’s a sign they’re taking your efforts for granted.
Relationships require mutual care and affection. If you’re always the one planning dates or giving gifts while they do little in return, they’ve come to expect it without feeling the need to reciprocate.
When your significant other fails to reciprocate your kind gestures and criticizes more than compliments, it can take a toll on your mental health.
Rather than appreciating what you do for them, they frequently point out what you’re doing wrong or what you could be doing better.
Constant criticism and a lack of praise or affirmation are clear signs they don’t value your contributions.
Does your partner expect you to go above and beyond?
Do they make unrealistic demands of your time or talents, assuming you’ll always be there to meet their needs, without consideration for your own needs?
If they take your willingness to go the extra mile for granted, it shows a lack of appreciation for you.
While doing small things to show you care is an important part of a healthy relationship, make sure those efforts are reciprocated and your acts of service are genuinely appreciated.
If you find yourself consistently putting in more effort than your partner, whether it’s in planning dates, maintaining the household, or supporting each other emotionally, it may be time to evaluate whether your partner is taking you for granted.
WHAT TO DO IF YOUR PARTNER IS TAKING YOU FOR GRANTED
Recognizing the warning signs of being taken for granted in a relationship is essential for maintaining a healthy and balanced relationship.
If you realize that your partner is taking you for granted, here are some steps you can take to address any underlying issues and strengthen your bond.
1. Communicate openly about your concerns and feelings. Share your observations and explain how their actions make you feel undervalued in the relationship.
2. Set boundaries and express your needs. Communicate your expectations and be prepared to enforce these boundaries if necessary.
3. Prioritize self-care and self-love. Remember that your well-being is important, and you deserve a relationship where you feel valued and appreciated.
4. Consider couples therapy or counseling. A professional can help facilitate productive conversations and provide guidance on how to improve your relationship dynamic.
If any of the signs mentioned in this article sound familiar, it looks like you’ve got a partner who’s taking you for granted. Don’t stand for it!
Have an honest conversation about how their behavior makes you feel and what needs to change. You deserve to feel loved and appreciated.
And if talking it out doesn’t work, you may need to reevaluate your love life.
After all, no one should feel like an afterthought in their relationship. You’re worth more than that.
But hopefully, shining a light on the issue will make your partner realize what they’ve been missing and start showing you the love and respect you truly deserve.
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.
As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.