9 Real Reasons Why He Won’t Commit To You

reasons why he won't commit to you.

Have you been trying to make your boyfriend commit to a serious relationship or marriage without success?

Do you want to know the real reasons why he won’t commit to you?

Maybe you’ve been talking to him, dropping hints about settling down, and showing him that you’re a wife material but he’s still not making any moves to upgrade your relationship.

You’re not alone!

There are so many women trying to make their partner take their romantic relationship to the next level, but all they end up with is a situationship and a broken heart.

The truth is that men don’t commit to a woman until they are ready mentally, emotionally, and financially.

And that’s why women get surprised when they leave a long-term partner and discover a few months later that he’s getting married to another lady.

If your man hasn’t put a ring on your finger yet, it’s because of the stage of life he’s in at the moment.

Most men don’t consider marriage in the building phase of their lives and they won’t commit to you if things don’t look promising for them.

However, if your boyfriend is in the growth or success phase, he’ll be in a better position to think of settling down and starting a family with you.

In this article, we take a look at several factors that affect a man’s decision to commit to a serious relationship with a woman.


If you’ve been with a man for a long time and he keeps coming up with lots of excuses to back up his lack of commitment, here are 9 real reasons why he won’t commit to you.

#1 He’s not financially stable

One of the biggest reasons why men don’t commit to serious relationships is a lack of financial stability.

Since men love to protect and provide for their romantic partners due to their hero instinct, it can feel scary to commit to a woman if they don’t have a good source of income.

According to Motivational Speaker and Television Host Steve Harvey, “Men don’t have a biological clock; they have a financial clock.”

This means if the man you’re dating doesn’t have his finances in order, he’ll avoid committing to a serious relationship or marriage until he gets to a more stable place in his career.

This is because he wants to make sure he can fend for himself, provide for your needs, and cater to a family as well.

Of course, this logic only applies to responsible men who are mature enough to do the right thing.

So if your boyfriend doesn’t have a high-paying job or is struggling to move forward in his career, he may be hesitant to take your relationship to the next level.

reasons why he won't commit to you.

#2 He’s afraid of commitment

Marriage is a big decision that involves responsibility and serious commitment; not everyone is ready to go down that route in life.

Another common reason why a man won’t commit to you is that he’s afraid of commitment.

A lot of men think that when they get married, they’ll lose their freedom and be bogged down with unending responsibilities.

This can sound scary, restrictive, and burdensome to a man who loves having fun and being free to do whatever he likes.

If your man doesn’t want to commit even when he has a stable career, it could be because he’s a fun-loving free spirit who’s afraid of committing to one woman for the rest of his life.

#3 He’s not ready for a serious relationship

Everyone has a timeline that they follow as they get older. For some people, finding a life partner is at top of their priority list.

For others, pursuing their dreams, smashing their career goals, or building long-term wealth is more important to them.

If a man doesn’t want to commit to you, it may be because he’s just not ready to get into a serious relationship at the moment.

His priorities may change in the future, but he doesn’t see marriage as something to be concerned about right now.

#4 You’re not the one he wants to settle down with

When a man doesn’t see you as “the one”, there’s nothing you can do to make him marry you because he has already made up his mind.

He may have observed you for a while, studied your personality, and reflected on your level of compatibility before concluding that you’re not the person he wants to settle down with.

And once he has this mindset, you’ll be wasting your time staying with him with the hope that he’ll eventually propose to you and walk you down the aisle.

If you’ve been in a relationship with your boyfriend for several years and you feel he’s a good life partner, but he doesn’t feel the same way about you, he won’t marry you no matter what you do.

reasons why he won't commit to you.

#5 Your life goals are not aligned

Another big reason why a man won’t commit to you is that your future goals are misaligned.

For example, if your boyfriend wants to move to another country in a few years and you want to live near your family, it may create some friction in your relationship.

When your life aspirations and future plans are not on the same page, a man will not consider getting married to you.

And if nobody is ready to compromise for the other person, you can’t move forward together as a couple.

#6 He’s only interested in casual flings at the moment

A lot of men have silently embraced the hookup culture and they may not tell you their true intentions when they ask you out.

You may feel happy and expectant about the future of your relationship meanwhile he’s trying to have as much fun as he can while the fling lasts.

A major reason why your boyfriend doesn’t want to commit to a serious relationship or marriage is that he’s only interested in casual dating at the moment.

For as long as he has this mentality of catching fun, he won’t become responsible enough to take you seriously.

#7 Most of his friends are still single

Does your boyfriend have a lot of single friends around him? Another real reason why he won’t commit to you is that most of his friends are still unmarried.

Since we become like the five people we spend the most time with, it’s easy to compare and compete with others without meaning to.

For most people, the fear of missing out motivates them to get married when they see that many of their friends are settling down and having kids.

If your boyfriend doesn’t feel pressured to take your relationship to the next level, it’s because he’s okay with the fact that he’s not the only single person among his group of friends.

reasons why he won't commit to you.

#8 He feels he has enough time on his side

For most women, our biological clock is a huge factor that determines when we get married and have children.

As a lady, once you cross into your thirties you may start panicking if you haven’t gotten a serious boyfriend to settle down with.

Your parents will also start asking marriage-related questions from time to time, which will add more pressure on you.

It’s quite different for the men as they don’t have eggs that fizzle out with age so the pressure to get married fast is relatively low.

If your man is financially stable and your life goals are aligned, but he doesn’t want to tie the knot anytime soon, it means he feels that he has more time on his side to have fun and enjoy singlehood.

#9 He doesn’t want to be tied down by a romantic partner

Another reason why a man won’t commit to you is that he desires to be free to live his life without being tied down by the many responsibilities that come with marriage and parenting.

For example, he may want to concentrate on his career, business, or hobbies full-time without distractions from anyone.

Having a life partner and perhaps kids can be too much responsibility for some men, so they choose to stay single and untethered throughout their lifetime.

If you’ve been wondering why your man doesn’t want to commit to you, it could be because he never wants to get married.


There are many reasons why a man won’t commit to you even if you’ve been together for a long time.

From the fear of commitment and lack of financial stability to not being ready for a serious relationship, your man’s reason for not committing may be valid even though you think it’s unfair.

Most men only commit when they’re mentally, financially, and emotionally stable which can take a while to attain.

The best thing you can do when you discover the real reasons why your boyfriend won’t commit is to take a hard look at your timeline and be clear about what you’re looking for in life.

If you’re at a stage where you want to settle down with a responsible man and have a bunch of kids but your partner doesn’t want the same things, it may be unwise to remain with him.

However, if you’re still busy building your own career and have more time on your side before getting married, you can discuss this with your partner to ensure your future goals are aligned.

It would be devastating to wait for a few years and realize down the road that the man you want to spend the rest of your life with doesn’t ever want to get married or have kids.

So weigh the pros and cons before making a huge decision that could greatly affect you.


Recommended Reading:

14 Things Men Hate In A Relationship

12 Real Reasons Why You’re Still Single

How To Get Him To Commit Even If He’s Scared Of Commitment

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi
 | Blog

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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