Do you often see happy couples walking on the street and feel jealous of their love because you don’t have a romantic partner who adores you?
It’s normal to feel lonely and sad as a single person, especially when you’re longing for a healthy, loving relationship with someone special.
However, you are not alone in your singlehood.
There are roughly 2.12 billion single people in the world, according to research data from over 200 countries, and not all of them want to get into a committed relationship.
For most people, being single is the most fun-filled time of their life.
But, there are a few hopeful romantics who crave a stable and fulfilling relationship with someone, yet they are still single.
Fear of commitment, being too picky and having different priorities are among the top reasons people stay single.
If you have been wishing for a long-term partner and your relationship status is single, take a look at some real reasons why you are not partnered up.
12 REAL REASONS WHY YOU’RE STILL SINGLE
Are you concerned about not having a life partner? Here are 12 reasons why you’re still single and what you can do about it.
#1 You haven’t found the right person
If you have always believed in true love, you may not want to get into any relationship or marry anyone simply because you need to change your marital status.
For you, marriage is a long-term partnership between two people who genuinely love and accept each other.
And if you haven’t found the right person with whom you’re emotionally connected, you would rather remain single than end up in an unhealthy relationship.
This is an excellent choice to make because the person you marry can change your life either positively or negatively.
With that in mind, searching for real love can be challenging; nowadays people are more interested in hooking up than creating meaningful relationships with others.
And it can be tiring to sift out the players from the serious daters. As a result, you could experience some delays in finding that special someone.
But if you keep believing and open your heart to receive love, your soulmate will find you someday.
#2 You’re not very good at flirting
The most common reason individuals cite for being single is that they are not good at flirting or playing the dating game.
It can be exhausting to try to decode all the hidden messages and understand the guidelines for dating that most people choose to remain single.
If you’re in this boat, you are not alone. For a long time, I told myself that I was tired of playing games and putting on a mask just to find someone who would date me.
I really just wanted to be simple, authentic, and passionate in relationships. Luckily, I found someone who shares my values and beliefs.
If you have poor flirting skills, don’t try to force it and pretend to be something you’re not; just be yourself and someone will love you just the way you are.
#3 You have an avoidant attachment style
Individuals with avoidant attachment styles are highly independent, self-reliant, and uncomfortable with intimacy of any kind.
So they put up invisible walls around them to avoid being too vulnerable or attached to others.
This makes them seem emotionally distant and aloof, which can turn off some people who are looking for an intimate relationship.
If you find it difficult to tolerate emotional intimacy, you may be an avoidant person and this is the reason why you’re still single.
When you avoid intimacy and closeness in a romantic relationship, it can create a lot of distance between you and your partner, which will inhibit the growth of your bond.
On a deep level, you may want a stable relationship, but you can’t seem to open up enough to allow other people to get close to you because you value your freedom and independence.
Plus, when you try to get intimate, you feel as if you’re being stifled or that your partner is too needy.
So you always come up with the perfect excuse to break off the relationship as soon as you get tired of them.
Or you act in a way that pushes away the people who love you because you’re afraid of intimacy and feel more secure when you’re alone.
The good news is that the avoidant attachment style is something that is learned from childhood as a result of your needs not being met consistently and it can be changed over time.
#4 You’re too selective or picky about who to date
One of the biggest reasons why some people are single is because they expect their partners to tick off all the boxes on their checklist and won’t give anyone who doesn’t meet up to their high standards a chance.
While it’s important to have some standards and know what you’re looking for in an ideal partner, being too rigid can make you lose out on some potentially good people who cross your path.
However, you are not alone in your decision. About 75.2% of all singles say that being too picky is a reason they do not date as they are often left with few choices.
If you feel your high expectations are keeping you from finding a life partner, lower the bar a little and give some non-compatible partners a chance to prove their worth.
Who knows you may just find love in an unexpected place.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you should settle for someone who isn’t a good match, but it’s a good idea to explore other options once in a while to see if you can find some luck in the dating scene.
#5 You’re giving off desperate vibes
Another reason why you’re still single is that you’re giving off desperate energy that repels people even before they get to know you on a deep level.
When you act desperate about finding love or a life partner, you are unconsciously telling the universe that something is lacking in your life.
Learn to relax when you start dating someone new and avoid speeding up the relationship by talking about serious topics like commitment, marriage, and kids too soon.
Being too hasty or needy can scare off potential partners who want to build a lasting relationship with you.
So, remember to slow down and allow a new relationship to unfold naturally instead of forcing someone to commit to you after a few dates.
#6 You’re sending out mixed signals
One of the most common reasons why people remain single for long periods is that their body language doesn’t align with their words and actions.
When the things you say are misaligned with the things you do, you’ll confuse anyone who wants to date you seriously.
Maybe you go out on a date and you say you enjoyed it, but when your new love interest calls you later, you ignore them completely.
It can be good to play hard to get but if you are really interested in someone, be open to connecting with them.
If you say one thing and mean another thing, you’ll continually give out mixed signals, which will confuse your potential partners.
When you’re dating, watch your body language to make sure you’re sending the right message each time you interact with people.
For example, if you didn’t enjoy a date, you can let your potential partner know what you didn’t like or how you feel about the possibility of a relationship with them.
This will help to clear the air and possibly prevent them from wasting their time further in a bid to win you over when you’ve already realized that you’re not a perfect fit for each other.
However, if you feel a connection with a date, give them a chance even though they don’t check a lot of boxes on your list.
You may find true love when you least expect it just by doing something different.
#7 You’re secretly afraid of commitment
Another possible reason why you’re still single is that you are afraid of committing to a romantic partner indefinitely.
You think that if you get into a serious relationship, you’ll be tied down with obligations or have to deal with unnecessary drama.
And the thought of being with one person for a long time can sound restrictive for a free spirit who loves to explore the world.
I understand how you feel, and there are a lot of people who think this way too.
However, research has shown that the benefits of being in a loving relationship outweigh the rewards that come with singlehood.
Sure, you’ll have a lot of fun as a single young adult, but eventually, you’ll start to get too old to hit the dance floor every weekend, and that’s when the loneliness will hit you like a lightning bolt.
Avoid waiting until it’s too late to find a companion; look out for someone with similar personality traits as you so you can create beautiful memories together.
True love is absolutely worth it, and it would be a shame to miss out on the opportunity to know what it really means to love and be loved because of the fear of commitment.
#8 You’re not putting yourself out there
Most people say they would be happy to find someone to build a life with but they don’t make any positive moves to help their soulmate in locating them.
Another reason why you’ve not found a life partner is that you’re not showing up in the right places.
If you want to meet the love of your life, you need to put yourself out there and stop shying away from being seen.
Going to work every day and spending all your free time at home isn’t going to fetch you a romantic partner any time soon.
You should let the right people know that you’re single and available for a serious relationship.
Of course, you don’t have to look desperate while you search for a partner, but you can turn on the green light by going out on weekends or signing up on good dating apps.
Tinder may not be your best bet if you are looking for a committed relationship though.
Most of the people who join the platform are only interested in casual relationships and hookups.
You’ll get better luck finding a suitable partner on a dating site like eHarmony which has helped over 2 million singles get into happy relationships.
So if you want to increase your chances of meeting your soulmate, go where single people are on a regular basis and mingle with them.
#9 You don’t create time to connect with people
Dating doesn’t stop at signing up for a new app and creating an eye-catching online profile.
You should also be willing to connect with your potential matches in real life.
One major problem a lot of singletons make is that they ghost people who want to connect with them on a deeper level.
If you’re guilty of being too busy to mingle, you may find it hard to get a good partner because you’re not creating time to interact with anyone.
Luckily, a lot of dating apps have video chat features that allow users to meet each other virtually to enable them to decide whether they have a chance together or not.
If you’re an introvert like me who avoids social interactions with strangers, you can make use of this opportunity to meet your dates face-to-face from the comfort of your home.
Video chats can be very useful when you’re not ready to meet someone in real life but would like to explore your connection a little bit more.
#10 You’re not putting much effort into your appearance
If you haven’t had any luck in the past when it comes to dating, consider paying more attention to how you look.
Being more intentional about your appearance can increase your chances of finding a suitable partner.
If you normally dress suggestively, try to tone it down a bit so you don’t attract only people who want to hook up with you for a one-night stand.
You can also try a new haircut, bolder colors, and other styles of clothing that bring out your real personality.
Additionally, if you’ve added a few extra pounds that make you feel less confident or undesirable, find a workout routine that can help to tighten some loose muscles or skin.
When you dress well and look your best, you’ll attract the right type of people into your life.
So don’t let yourself go because you’re too busy to care about your appearance.
The smallest amount of effort can take your dating game to next level and help you catch someone’s attention in no time.
#11 You have health challenges that make it difficult to date
Health problems can also prevent people from dating, which can lower their chances of finding a life partner.
If you have a disability, chronic illness, or personality disorder, it can be hard to date because of limited movement, low energy, or lack of interest from other people.
The best way to significantly improve your chances of getting a romantic partner is to join support groups for disabled individuals or sign up for online dating sites where you can find like-minded singles.
And always disclose your health condition on your profiles to filter out people who can’t handle dating someone with a disability or chronic illness.
#12 You have temporarily embraced the single culture
Finally, if you are wondering why you’re still single, you may have unconsciously adopted the single culture that’s currently trending in the world.
A recent survey of about 1,000 singles between the ages of 18 to 25 revealed that 72 percent of millennials have consciously chosen to stay single and love themselves more.
Maybe you’ve been hurt so many times than you can count and as a result, you have chosen to protect yourself from abusive people by not getting into any intimate relationship.
Or you’ve decided to devote all your time to building your career and achieving financial freedom to enable you to travel the world or retire early.
So for now, you’re just enjoying your singlehood, chasing your goals, and trying to become the best version of yourself, instead of letting your relationship status define you.
Despite what you’ve been through, if you see a good person who captures your heart, you can decide to open yourself up to love again.
It’s a good idea to take a break from dating and focus on improving your life.
You will be in a much better place when you find the person you want to settle down with forever.
There are numerous reasons why some adults are single.
From not finding the right person and being bad at flirting to deliberately choosing to stay single, it’s often difficult to find someone to date.
Whatever reason resonates with you though, know that it’s valid and doesn’t make you any less than other people with romantic partners.
As divorce rates remain high around the world, it’s wise to take your time and choose a compatible partner instead of rushing into a committed relationship.
In the meantime, enjoy your single life, make new platonic friends whenever you can, and focus on building your career.
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life. As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are important in building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.