10 Signs A Partner Is Keeping Secrets In A Relationship

signs a partner is keeping secrets in a relationship

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Keeping secrets in a relationship is never a good idea, especially if you’re planning to build something solid with your partner.

When you hide things from your significant other, it can lead to emotional disconnection, lack of trust, and many other relationship problems.

A healthy couple doesn’t lie to each other or keep secrets because they know how detrimental it can be to their bond.

If you’ve decided to be with someone for the long haul, it’s best to establish open communication and honesty from the onset.

This way, you’ll be able to increase your emotional intimacy and build a strong relationship together.

When you’ve agreed with your partner to always tell the truth but they choose to hide things from you and lie to your face, it can be soul-crushing.

How can someone claim to love you and then hide information from you?

If you’re in a relationship with a dishonest partner, it can be difficult to trust them or even have a harmonious relationship.

So how can you tell if your significant other is hiding things from you?

In this article, you’ll find some telltale signs your partner is keeping secrets and what to do about it.


Hiding things from a significant other is a form of betrayal and can be very hurtful to the loyal partner.

If you notice these warning signs in your relationship, chances are that your loved one is not being entirely honest with you.

1. You suspect that they’re hiding things from you

Do you have a gut feeling that your partner is being secretive with you?

That’s one of the first signs you’ll notice if something is wrong in your relationship.

Our instincts are in-built detectors that can spot lies and danger from a distance, thereby protecting us and keeping us safe from harm.

Before something terrible happens, you may sense it in your gut if you’re alert and observant.

That same emotional radar can also help you identify unhealthy relationship patterns.

If you have a strong feeling that your significant other is hiding things from you, they’re likely not telling you the truth about certain things.

Don’t wave it off as insecurity or paranoia. If it keeps nudging you, investigate the situation to find out what’s really going on.

signs a partner is keeping secrets in a relationship

2. Their facial expressions show they’re lying

One of the most common ways to know someone is telling lies is to look at their face and gaze into their eyes as they talk.

Most people exhibit some signs of dishonesty such as avoiding eye contact, rubbing their noses, blinking repeatedly, or talking nervously.

However, recent studies reveal that habitual liars maintain prolonged eye contact to dismiss any suspicion you may have about their behavior.

As a result of other contributing factors, it can be difficult to tell when someone is lying based on eye contact alone.

According to body language experts, if you notice that your partner’s facial expressions, bodily movements, and tone of voice seem unusual, it could be a sign that they’re being untruthful.

3. Their stories don’t add up

Another sign a partner is keeping secrets in a relationship is that you’ll notice some inconsistencies in their words.

Maybe they tell you they’re working late at the office and the next time they talk about the same day, they mention that they were hanging out with friends in the evening.

It’s often burdensome for people to keep their acts together and maintain their lying behavior for a long period.

They’ll eventually slip up and say something contradictory that’ll make you confirm your suspicions about them.

If your partner’s stories don’t usually add up and you feel they’re trying to cover up their tracks, it could be a sign of untruthfulness.

4. Your partner doesn’t confide in you anymore

It can be stressful to keep a secret for a long time, especially from someone you talk to regularly.

To avoid disclosing the secrets they’re trying to hide, an untruthful partner will deliberately refuse to open up to you or confide in you.

Even if they used to tell you everything happening in their lives, they’ll begin to withdraw emotionally and won’t discuss anything at length with you.

If you notice that your significant other no longer converses with you about different aspects of their lives, they may be hiding some vital information from you.

signs a partner is keeping secrets in a relationship

5. They avoid spending much time with you

An obvious sign someone is keeping secrets from you is that they’ll avoid staying around you for long periods.

For example, when you try to have a deep conversation with a dishonest partner, they may claim to be too busy to talk or will try to change the subject of the discussion.

Even when they actually spend time with you, they may cross their arms, rush the conversation, or maintain a safe distance to remove any emotional connection between you.

Psychology experts refer to this as closed body language.

If your significant other is unwilling to touch you or stay close to you during a conversation, it’s a sign they’re hiding something from you and don’t want you to read their bodily cues.

6. They refuse to share their feelings openly

In a healthy relationship, couples share their feelings freely without fear of being judged or criticized and support each other during tough times.

A toxic couple, on the other hand, avoids being vulnerable and will hide how they really feel in the relationship.

When you know your partner is clearly upset about something, but they deny it and refuse to talk about what’s bothering them, that’s a telltale sign they’re hiding things from you.

A partner who refuses to share their thoughts and feelings with you doesn’t trust you or could be keeping secrets in the relationship.

7. Your partner accuses you of hiding things from them

Another sign a partner is keeping secrets in a relationship is that they’ll try to shift the blame to you even before you accuse them of dishonesty.

A lot of people project their feelings onto others when they feel guilty or anxious and want to get rid of the negative emotions without acknowledging them.

They believe that when they accuse you first, you won’t suspect them of doing anything wrong because you’ll think they’re a good partner.

Plus if they find you guilty, they can feel better about themselves and won’t have to apologize for the bad things they did in the relationship.

According to Choosing Therapy, projection is a psychological defense mechanism where someone attributes their unwanted feelings, motives, and behaviors to another person.

If your partner accuses you of keeping secrets when you’re obviously innocent, it’s a sign they’re trying to flip the script on you and absolve themselves of their guilt.

signs a partner is hiding things from you

8. They don’t allow you to touch their devices or personal belongings

When people have a skeleton in their closet, they often try to keep prying eyes away to avoid the truth coming out.

Does your partner prevent you from touching their phones or accessing a personal belonging?

It could be an indicator that they’re hiding something they don’t want you to see.

While it’s unhealthy to snoop around your partner’s things, there should be a certain level of trust and openness in the relationship.

This means letting your significant other know the password to your devices and allowing them to use it when it’s necessary.

If your partner is overprotective of their phone and doesn’t give you access to it, that’s a clear sign they’re holding back information or hiding a secret affair.

9. They get angry or defensive when you question their behavior

A surefire way to know a guilty person is that they’ll get upset and try to come up with a lot of explanations to convince you of their innocence.

When someone is hiding something, they obviously don’t want to get caught and will use different strategies to cover up their bad behavior.

One of the most common techniques serial liars use in a relationship is to become defensive or get angry, so you’ll think they’re hurt by your accusations.

They may also try to play the blame game, change the subject, or bring up issues from the past to divert your attention.

If your partner never accepts responsibility for their actions and instead gets defensive when you question their bad habits, that could be a sign they’re guilty of dishonesty.

An innocent partner will look you directly in the eyes and truthfully answer any questions you ask them even though they feel hurt.

10. They don’t want you to hang out with their family and friends

Do you notice that your significant other tries to stop you from interacting with their loved ones?

Most times, when someone does something wrong or is hiding a secret affair, other people usually know about it before their romantic partner.

In a bid to hide the truth from you, a significant other may try everything they can to prevent you from spending time with their family and friends.

This is because they’re afraid someone from their inner circle will reveal their secret to you and destroy your relationship.

If your partner is isolating you from a particular group of people, chances are that they know something you’re unaware of and don’t want you to find out.

signs a partner is keeping secrets in a relationship


It can be hard to tell when a partner is lying to you, especially if you’re deeply in love with them and trust them wholeheartedly.

However, by observing their body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice, you can be able to identify the obvious signs of dishonesty in a relationship.

While it’s normal to tell a few white lies occasionally to protect someone’s self-esteem and avoid hurting their feelings, it’s unhealthy to hide important information from your partner.

So what do you do when you discover that your significant other is not being truthful with you?

Have a long talk with them and let them know that dishonesty can hinder the growth of a romantic relationship.

Next, give them some time to adjust and come clean with you. If you notice they’re still keeping secrets, consider going for couples counseling to help you improve your love life.

Sometimes, people think it’s not a big deal to tell lies or keep secrets in a relationship, so it’s crucial to talk to your partner about their behavior and find the best way to move forward.


Recommended Reading:

7 Most Important Things Every Relationship Needs

9 Things You Should Never Beg For In A Relationship

10 Things You Should Never Tolerate In A Relationship

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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