Whether you’re dating someone new or you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, there are certain things you shouldn’t tolerate in a relationship.
Examples of toxic behaviors you need to watch out for include infidelity, abuse, and dishonesty.
Any romantic partner who constantly tells lies, abuses you, or cheats on you doesn’t really love you.
And you need to value yourself by raising your standards and not tolerating bad behavior in a romantic relationship.
In this article, we’ll highlight a list of things you shouldn’t endure from your partner in a relationship.
10 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER TOLERATE IN A RELATIONSHIP
If you notice any of these things in your relationship, don’t hesitate to speak to your significant other about it or go for couples therapy.
1. Lack of commitment
While falling in love is a natural part of relationships, the goal of love is to grow together as a couple and build something that will last.
This means that both partners need to be fully committed to loving each other and improving their love life.
If you have a partner who isn’t dedicated to building a healthy and happy relationship with you, this isn’t a good sign.
You don’t need to beg someone to love you, spend time with you, or pay attention to you when you’re in a romantic relationship.
Don’t allow your partner to treat you like a second choice; if you’re not their top priority, you should consider leaving the relationship.
Respect is one of the most important things you should look out for in a relationship because if someone doesn’t respect you, they’ll never treat you right.
When a partner speaks to you harshly, dismisses your feelings, or mocks you anytime you make a mistake, that’s a big red flag you shouldn’t ignore.
Someone who raises their voice at you or talks to you in a condescending manner doesn’t see you as their equal and they’ll always look down on you.
It’s your job to show people how to treat you in a relationship and this means not accepting disrespect from your romantic partner.
If you feel disrespected, devalued, or insulted by your significant other, call out their bad behavior right away instead of absorbing all those negative vibes.
3. Abuse of any kind
Whether it’s physical, emotional, or verbal abuse, you shouldn’t tolerate abusive behavior from a partner.
No matter how many times they apologize or claim to love you if they’re abusing you, they don’t care about your well-being and will never love you the way you deserve.
If an abusive partner wants you to stay, it’s because they’re afraid of being alone or they haven’t found someone to replace you.
When they eventually get tired of you, they’ll discard you and move on to the next person.
You’ll be so shocked at how fast they’ll move on when they’re done with you.
Someone who loves you will treat you nicely, respectfully speak to you, and show you affection regularly.
If you have a partner who bullies you, insults you, or hits you repeatedly, consider ending your relationship as soon as possible.
Staying with an abusive partner is going to deteriorate your mental health and cause a lot of damage to your physical body as well as your emotional health.
Don’t wait until you’re broken before you leave an abuser.
As soon as you recognize some signs of abuse in your intimate relationship, save yourself the trauma and run for your life.
4. Serial cheating
Cheating is never acceptable in a committed relationship.
However, if it happens only one time, you may choose to forgive your partner and move forward with your relationship.
But when a significant other cheats on you multiple times, this shows that they’re not ready to be faithful to you and will never change.
It’s wise to take their serial cheating as a sign that they don’t respect you nor do they value you.
Don’t continue to forgive and stay with someone who refuses to be loyal to you.
Staying with a cheating partner will only lead to heartbreak, unhappiness, and even STDs.
You deserve better than that in a relationship!
Everyone is unique in their own way and a romantic partner needs to accept you just the way you are.
A big sign of a partner who truly loves you is when they don’t judge you or compare you with other people.
Sure, a loving partner will want you to be the best version of yourself and they’ll support your personal growth.
However, if your significant other wants you to become something you’re not by comparing you or asking you to change your personality, that’s a huge red flag.
You don’t need to stay with a partner who doesn’t like you for who you are and who constantly wants you to portray a fake version of yourself.
An emotionally mature partner will encourage you to be your authentic self and they’ll love you for it so don’t let anyone make you feel insecure about yourself.
6. Hostile communication
All couples fight in a relationship. But what differentiates a healthy couple from a toxic one is their ability to handle their conflicts maturely.
Intimate partners need to learn how to regulate their emotions by breathing deeply, controlling their temper, and taking a break from an argument when things get tense.
This will ensure that they always stay calm and avoid hurting each other’s feelings with harsh words.
If your partner always transfers their aggression to you instead of managing their emotions healthily, that’s not a good sign.
Good communication involves compassion, active listening skills, and constructive feedback.
Don’t tolerate hostile communication from your romantic partner and always insist that they talk to you with a respectful tone.
7. Low effort
No matter how much you love someone, if they don’t love you in return, you’ll be in a one-sided relationship.
And there is nothing you can do to change that.
People only adjust their behavior when they want to and staying with a partner who takes you for granted is not going to make any difference.
If someone is putting in low effort to maintain a relationship while you’re doing most of the work, it’s wise to end the relationship.
A partner who refuses to match your efforts doesn’t deserve you in their life.
Learn to value yourself and always prioritize your needs especially when you’re in a romantic relationship.
Don’t let someone take you for granted and give you crumbs of love instead of the full package.
You deserve to be loved wholeheartedly so don’t ever settle for less.
If someone really loves you, they’ll go the extra mile to prove it and you won’t have to beg for their devotion or loyalty.
8. Lack of boundaries
Another thing you should never tolerate in a relationship is a lack of boundaries.
Healthy boundaries are meant to protect your energy and space when you’re dealing with others.
And it’s crucial that your significant other honors your privacy and respects your boundaries by giving you the freedom to be yourself and allowing you to make your own decisions.
They should also be okay with you saying no when you don’t feel like doing something they want and be willing to accept you with your unique qualities.
If your partner always compels you to do things you dislike or tries to control your actions, that’s a huge red flag.
You shouldn’t accept that kind of behavior in a romantic relationship.
A loving partner isn’t supposed to manipulate you or dominate you in a relationship.
You have the right to be free and independent as an individual so don’t let anyone take that from you.
The key to building a strong relationship with your partner is to be authentic, honest, and trustworthy. And this goes both ways!
If one person is truthful while the other partner is dishonest, you won’t enjoy a good relationship together.
Someone who constantly lies to you or hides secrets from you is not a reliable partner and you shouldn’t tolerate this type of behavior.
When a romantic partner lies to your face over and over again, it means they’re being loyal to someone else and are not on the same page with you.
So dishonesty should be a major cause of concern for you and you don’t have to accept it in a relationship.
10. Lack of accountability
Being accountable in a relationship shows you’re honest, mature, and trustworthy.
This means when you make a mistake, you acknowledge your faults, apologize sincerely, and try to mend your ways.
However, when you play the blame game and refuse to be responsible for your wrongdoings, it can lead to a toxic relationship.
If your partner refuses to take responsibility for their actions and always wants to shift the blame, that’s a big red flag.
No matter how much you love your significant other, you should never tolerate irresponsibility and lack of accountability from them.
They need to learn to be mature enough to face the consequences of their actions and be willing to change their attitude.
If you let your partner shift the blame to you all the time, you’ll always have to take the fall for everything that goes wrong, which will lead to low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence.
Being silent in a romantic relationship will make you unhappy and negatively affect your mental health and self-esteem over time.
If you’re experiencing things you don’t like, learn to speak up about your needs and beliefs because that’s the only way you will be true to yourself.
Don’t suffer in silence with the hope that your partner will change someday.
Most people rarely change unless you put your foot down and refuse to accept bad behavior.
One important thing I’ve learned in life is that when you keep quiet about something, people think you’re okay with what’s happening and they’ll continue to behave the way they want.
So you must call out unhealthy behavior as soon as you notice it in your relationship.
There are a few mistakes you can overlook in a relationship.
But when something becomes a habit that has adverse effects on you or your relationship, you need to act fast.
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life. As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are important in building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.