You’ve been dating for a while now and things are getting serious.
You adore your boyfriend and the relationship is going great, so you figure it’s time to meet the family.
But after a few awkward encounters with his parents and siblings, you start to suspect they’re not your biggest fans.
Maybe they think you’re not good enough for their precious son or they had someone else in mind.
Look out for these signs his family doesn’t like you and what to do about it.
9 OBVIOUS SIGNS HIS FAMILY DOESN’T LIKE YOU
Do you suspect that your man’s family doesn’t approve of your relationship? Watch out for the following signs:
1. They’re not interested in getting to know you
A big sign your partner’s family doesn’t like you is that they show no interest in learning more about you and don’t ask you any questions about yourself.
Most parents want to get to know the person their child is dating on a deeper level.
But if they seem aloof and indifferent towards you, that’s not a good indicator of acceptance.
When a guy’s family doesn’t like you, they’ll often show it by being rude or impatient whenever you interact with them.
They may frequently interrupt you or act like you’re not even there during conversations.
Rather than engaging you in discussions, they talk over you and ignore your input.
If your man’s parents seem dismissive or like they can barely tolerate speaking with you, that behavior speaks volumes.
Most parents would make an effort to be kind and engaging with their child’s romantic partner, even if they don’t fully approve of the relationship.
Being rude is a sign they don’t like you at all and want you out of the picture.
The best thing you can do in this situation is to treat them with respect and kindness. Even if you face a cold reception, remain cheerful, polite, and friendly.
Over time, your charm and positive attitude may win them over. And if not, at least you know you did your best.
2. They display negative body language when you’re around
When a guy’s family members act stiff and awkward around you, that’s not a good sign.
Their body language reveals what they actually feel about you even if they don’t say it.
Do they avoid eye contact, cross their arms, frown, or roll their eyes at you? These are clear signals they don’t like you.
Make an effort to start conversations and ask friendly questions to show you’re interested in them. Smile, make eye contact, and try to maintain positive body language.
Don’t be tempted to match their energy and posture if not you’ll send a bad message across.
Look for shared interests and bonding opportunities. Offer to help out with chores or tasks.
Helping set the table or walking the dog together are great ways to find common ground and change their opinion of you.
With time and consistency, they’ll become more positive and open. But if not, don’t stress. As long as your partner cares for you, that’s what really matters.
His family will come around when they see what an awesome person you are!
3. They often exclude you from family activities
Another sign your partner’s family members don’t like you is that they never invite you to social events.
If his parents frequently host family dinners or get-togethers but you’re never included on the guest list, that’s a major red flag.
They likely don’t view you as part of the family and don’t care to spend time getting to know you better.
They may also make excuses to avoid you. For example, they’ll always come up with reasons why they can’t attend events or activities you invite them to.
Or they’ll claim to have other plans but in reality, just don’t want to spend time with you.
Their continual excuses demonstrate their dislike for you and unwillingness to make an effort.
Don’t ignore the signs – have an open and honest conversation with your partner about how his family’s behavior makes you feel and what you both can do to improve the situation.
Their dislike may be due to misunderstandings that can be resolved through improved communication and quality time spent together.
However, you can’t force people to accept you, so make sure to stand up for yourself if needed! And focus on surrounding yourself with people who love and appreciate you.
4. They make negative or sarcastic comments about you
Passive aggression is a clear sign someone doesn’t like you. When a guy’s relatives make snide remarks or jokes at your expense, that’s a big red flag.
Comments like “We thought he’d end up with someone…different” or asking why you’re not dressed up more for family dinner are passive aggressive ways of expressing their dislike.
Rather than directly insulting you, his family chooses to make negative comments and sarcastic remarks to undermine you.
Pay close attention to the tone and context of what they’re saying.
Their words may seem playful or teasing on the surface but are actually thinly veiled put-downs designed to make you feel unwelcome and question whether you really belong.
Don’t let their toxicity get to you! Their behavior says more about them than it does about you.
As long as your guy continues to stand up for you and set clear boundaries, their dislike is their problem to work through.
However, if your partner is unable or unwilling to shield you from their hostility, you may need to reevaluate the relationship.
5. They criticize your choices and lifestyle
Does your boyfriend’s family consistently talk bad about you and how you choose to live your life?
If they frequently comment on your clothes, job, hobbies, or other life choices in a judgmental way, that’s not a great sign.
Making snide remarks about how you spend your time or implying that your priorities aren’t quite right shows they don’t accept you for who you are. Don’t let their disapproval get you down!
Politely stand up for yourself and your decisions without causing a scene. With time, they may come to respect your independence and confidence.
Of course, there could be other reasons for their criticism that have nothing to do with you.
Try starting an open, honest, and compassionate conversation to build understanding.
Let them know their words are hurtful, give them a chance to clarify, and look for ways to compromise.
Families come in all shapes and sizes, so focus on building your own support system.
If his family can’t come around, don’t waste time and energy trying to please people who don’t share your values. You deserve to be happy!
6. They frequently compare you unfavorably to your partner’s exes
One of the most obvious signs a guy’s parents don’t approve of you is that they idealize his past relationships and compare you to his former partners.
When his mom brings up how his last girlfriend always helped her cook family dinners or his dad reminisces about what an amazing team player his ex was, they’re trying to make you feel like you don’t measure up.
Every time they mention one of his former flames, it’s a subtle jab at you.
Don’t let their disrespectful comments get you down!
His exes are exes for a reason. You’re with their son now, so leave the past behind and look forward to a bright future.
Smile, be polite but don’t engage in their petty comparisons. Focus on strengthening your bond with your partner instead of seeking their approval.
Over time, they may come around once they see how happy you make him! And if they don’t, who cares?
As long as you and your sweetheart are on the same page about your relationship, his family’s shady behavior won’t matter.
You don’t need their validation to know you’re perfect for each other!
7. They show little respect for your relationship with your partner
When a man’s family shows little respect for your relationship, it usually means they don’t approve of you as his partner.
They may make hurtful comments about your relationship or roll their eyes when you show affection towards each other.
They probably won’t invite you to family events or include you in family photos. Even if you are invited, they’ll likely ignore you the entire time.
This behavior is completely unacceptable. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Don’t stand for their rude behavior.
Let your partner know his family’s actions are hurtful so he can call them out on it! If they continue to disrespect you, spend less time around them.
Your relationship with your partner is between the two of you. Don’t let his family’s dislike and mistreatment get you down or cause relationship problems.
Focus on surrounding yourself with people who love and support you, like close friends or your own family members.
Don’t beg for his family’s approval or bend over backward to please them.
Stay confident in yourself and your relationship. As long as you and your partner are happy together, that’s all that really matters.
8. You feel unwelcome or uncomfortable in their home
When a guy’s family just doesn’t seem to like you, their home won’t feel very welcoming. You’ll get the sense you’re an outsider intruding on their space.
Maybe they rarely invite you over or seem tense and irritable when you are there.
If conversations with them feel forced and awkward or they don’t offer you snacks or drinks, that’s not a good sign.
This unwelcoming vibe can make you dread visiting and put a damper on the relationship. But don’t lose hope!
Be extra friendly, helpful, and kind. Compliment their home and bring a small gift. Ask questions to show you’re interested in them.
In time, as they see how much you care for their son, they may come around. And if not, don’t let their hostility get you down. You’re there for him, not them.
Focus on building a loving relationship with your man. His family’s approval isn’t required for you both to be happy.
The discomfort won’t last forever but if their hostility becomes unbearable and you find it difficult to cope in the relationship, don’t be afraid to speak to your partner and set some boundaries.
9. They make no effort to build a relationship with you
When a guy’s family makes no effort to get to know you, that’s a huge red flag. They just can’t be bothered!
No matter how much you try to engage them in conversation or express interest in their lives, they remain aloof and distant.
It’s discouraging when your boyfriend’s loved ones don’t show any curiosity about you.
They never ask you questions to learn more about your background, interests, or goals. They don’t invite you to family events or make any attempt to bond with you.
Sadly, their apathy speaks volumes. Rather than giving you a chance, they’ve already made up their minds not to like you.
No matter how kind, thoughtful, or likable you are, they just don’t care. You could be Mother Teresa reincarnated and they still wouldn’t approve!
When his family is this unreceptive, it doesn’t bode well for the future of your relationship.
Their unwillingness to accept you will continue to cause hurt and conflict. Your boyfriend may feel torn between you and them, unable to please everyone.
The situation is unlikely to improve unless his family has a major change of heart.
But don’t hold your breath waiting for that to happen. Their actions or lack thereof have shown their true colors.
You deserve to be with someone whose family will welcome you with open arms!
If you don’t feel loved in their midst and can’t cope with all the toxicity, consider walking away for the sake of your mental health.
WHAT TO DO WHEN HIS FAMILY DOESN’T LIKE YOU
If you find yourself with a guy whose family members don’t like you, you may feel frustrated and confused at their behavior, especially when you’re putting in your best to love them. But don’t despair.
Sometimes knowing why people act the way they do can help you understand them better and give you insights on how to prevent conflict in your relationship.
Here are some possible reasons why your man’s family doesn’t like you and what you can do about it:
• They feel you’re distracting your partner from family responsibilities: Show them you want to support your partner and his family.
For example, you can work with your significant other and come up with a financial budget that includes them. You can also try to attend family events each time you’re invited.
• There’s a cultural clash or generation gap: When two people from different cultures come together, it can be difficult to understand each other’s way of life.
Your partner’s family may not know how to relate to you. Make an effort to understand their perspectives and values.
With patience and open communication, cultural differences can be overcome.
• Someone in the family feels threatened by you: Jealousy and power struggles happen in many families.
If one of your partner’s family members is envious of you, they may treat you poorly and try to break your relationship apart.
Don’t engage in heated arguments with them or retaliate when they’re rude to you. Remain kind and respectful. You’re bigger than their petty fights.
• They’re just not ready to welcome you into the family yet: It may take a while for people who don’t really know you to warm up to you.
They may be observing your behavior and trying to know your real intentions before they get closer.
Give your partner’s family space and time. Forcing interactions often backfires, so let things unfold naturally.
Being with a man whose family doesn’t accept you can be challenging.
While you want them to love you, you also don’t want them to walk over you, so it can be difficult to navigate the relationship.
Misunderstandings, cultural differences, and personal biases can contribute greatly to how a man’s family members treat you.
It’s crucial to communicate with your partner about these concerns to understand the situation better and address it effectively.
Stay positive and focus on the good parts of the relationship. Let your partner deal with his family issues, but offer empathy and support.
In time, as they see how happy you make their loved one, their apprehension should fade.
And if not, you’ve done your best – the only people who need to accept you are your partner and yourself!
At the end of the day, you deserve to be in a healthy, loving relationship where you feel fully accepted and respected.
If that’s not possible, you have every right to walk away without guilt or regret.
Stay strong and remember how special you are. Anyone who doesn’t like you is at a loss!
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.
As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.