Navigating romantic relationships can be challenging, especially when you’re unsure of the behaviors you’re experiencing from your partner.
One such behavior that can cause concern is selfishness. But how do you identify it?
In this article, we’ll be diving into the key signs that may indicate you’re dealing with a selfish partner.
From lack of empathy to controlling tendencies, we’ll demystify these behaviors and help you understand what they mean.
This isn’t a guide to point fingers or blame anyone, but rather a tool to provide clarity and encourage healthy relationships.
So, whether you’re trying to understand your partner or simply looking to gain more knowledge about relationship dynamics, here’s how to know if your partner is selfish and what to do about it.
9 TELLTALE SIGNS OF A SELFISH PARTNER
It’s easy to tell when someone is acting selfish in a relationship but most people ignore the signs because they don’t want to confront their partner and risk creating conflict.
However, if you feel unhappy or neglected and your needs are constantly unmet, you may be dealing with a self-centered person who doesn’t care about you.
Here are some telltale signs of a selfish partner:
1. They never compromise
Compromise is essential in any healthy relationship, but selfish partners always want things to go their way.
They don’t care about your needs or priorities and will never want to meet you in the middle.
They expect you to give in to their demands but never make sacrifices for you.
A balanced partnership is give and take, but with a selfish person, you’re always the one giving.
When you complain about their behavior, they’ll make you feel guilty for standing up for yourself. Don’t let someone manipulate you into thinking your needs don’t matter.
Speak up, set clear boundaries, and make sure your happiness is a priority. You’re a human being too and you deserve to be loved like everyone else.
If you’re always the one sacrificing and making compromises, you need to evaluate your relationship.
2. Conversations revolve around them
A major sign you have a selfish partner is that they constantly talk about themselves and don’t pay much attention to you.
Chatting with a selfish partner is less of a two-way street and more of a one-way monologue.
They ramble on and on about their life, their day, their problems but never ask about you! When you do get a word in, they quickly steer the discussion back to themselves.
This self-centered behavior extends to their interactions with others too.
They crave the spotlight and dominate social situations and group discussions, not even noticing how their excessive self-absorption impacts those around them.
Of course, it’s normal and healthy for partners to share details about themselves.
But if nearly every single conversation revolves around your partner, their interests, their life, and their needs, that’s a huge red flag.
A caring partner will actively listen to you, show interest in your life, and make time for meaningful discussions—not just use you as their sounding board!
If this sounds familiar, don’t ignore it. A selfish partner will drain you emotionally and make you feel insignificant in the relationship.
Talk to your partner about your needs and if they refuse to change, it maybe time to find someone who will make you their priority!
3. They don’t reciprocate favors or gifts
Do you shower your partner with thoughtful gifts and acts of service, only to have them rarely return the favor?
If so, you may be dealing with a selfish partner. A caring, mutually supportive relationship is all about reciprocity!
When you go out of your way to do something nice for your partner, a selfless and loving person will express heartfelt thanks and look for opportunities to do the same for you.
But a selfish partner sees your efforts as their right, and can’t be bothered to lift a finger when you’re in need.
They always have an excuse for why they can’t make time for you or do that thing you ask
Don’t stand for this lack of reciprocity—you deserve so much better!
Have an open, honest conversation with your partner about how their selfish behavior makes you feel undervalued and disrespected.
Let them know the relationship can’t continue this way unless they start showing you the same care and consideration you extend to them.
Compromise and change are possible, but only if both people are willing to meet in the middle.
If your partner refuses to change and you constantly feel unhappy, consider leaving the relationship.
4. They ignore your feelings and needs
A big sign of a selfish partner is that they only care about themselves and what they want. They never ask how you’re doing or feeling.
When you try to express your needs, they change the subject or brush you off. It’s all about them, all the time.
If your partner never listens when you need to vent or get emotional support, that’s a major red flag.
Relationships require give and take, but with a selfish partner, you’re always the one giving while they take, take, take.
Don’t stand for it! Let them know their behavior is unacceptable and that you deserve a caring partner who respects your feelings and is willing to meet your needs regularly.
Speak up and advocate for yourself. You matter too! Don’t stay silent and allow their selfishness to drain you emotionally.
Have an honest conversation about what you both want and need from the relationship. If they’re unwilling to change, you may need to reevaluate the relationship.
You deserve so much better than someone who only cares about themselves!
5. They take credit but avoid responsibility
Does your partner take all the glory but none of the blame? That’s a sign they are selfish.
When things go well, they’re quick to claim credit for successes and achievements.
But when problems arise, they’re nowhere to be found or point fingers at everyone else. Here are other ways selfish people avoid responsibility:
• They brag about their contributions and accomplishments but go radio silent when mistakes happen or deadlines get missed. Suddenly they “didn’t have anything to do with it” or “it wasn’t their fault”.
• They never sincerely apologize or take real responsibility for their actions. Excuses, denial, and blame are their go-to moves. Don’t expect a heartfelt “I’m sorry”—selfish people don’t like admitting they’re wrong.
• They demand praise and recognition but don’t reciprocate for your wins and milestones. Your accomplishments are ignored or minimized while they revel in the spotlight.
• They make promises and commitments but rarely follow through if it becomes inconvenient or requires effort on their part. You’re left picking up the pieces while they move on without consequence.
If this sounds familiar, you may have a selfish partner on your hands. The good news is you deserve a caring partner who will meet you in the middle and you don’t have to settle for less!
6. They’re controlling and manipulative
Selfish partners may exhibit controlling behaviors, manipulating situations or people to serve their interests.
They may use guilt, coercion, or emotional manipulation to get their way, disregarding your feelings and autonomy. Watch out if your partner:
• Constantly checks up on you
Do they call or text you multiple times a day to ask where you are and who you’re with? Do they get upset if you don’t respond right away?
These are signs of controlling behavior and a lack of trust in the relationship. Don’t mistake these red flags for real love. Healthy relationships are built on trust, mutual respect, and understanding.
• Isolates you from friends and family
If your partner discourages you from spending time with people who love and support you, that’s not a good sign. Manipulators will try to cut you off from your network so you become dependent on them.
Don’t let anyone control who you spend your time with. Maintaining strong bonds with friends and family is vital for your happiness and well-being.
• Manipulates you emotionally to get what they want
Does your partner use threats, guilt trips, or the silent treatment when they don’t get their way?
Do they blame you for their actions or make you feel like you’re “never good enough”? These are tactics used to manipulate you into giving in to their demands.
• Lacks empathy for your feelings or needs
Selfish partners typically lack empathy and are unwilling to compromise. They expect you to cater to their needs but ignore yours.
Make sure your needs are being met too, and don’t stay with someone who disregards your feelings.
7. They often disregard your boundaries
Another sign your partner is selfish is that they frequently disregard your boundaries and don’t seem to care about your needs or comfort level.
Do they pressure you into activities you’ve said no to? Do they share private details about you or your relationship with others even after you’ve asked them not to?
Do they make important decisions that affect you without talking to you first? These are warning signs you shouldn’t ignore!
A caring partner will value your boundaries and seek your consent before doing anything that might affect you.
Someone who repeatedly ignores your limits is being selfish and unfair. Don’t make excuses for them or blame yourself for their behavior.
If you’ve tried addressing this issue to no avail, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.
A selfish partner is unlikely to change, and you shouldn’t have to deal with this long-term. Don’t hesitate to leave if the situation becomes unbearable.
8. They don’t provide support when you need it
One of the biggest signs of a selfish partner is that they won’t offer support when you need it.
If you’re going through a difficult time, like the loss of a loved one or job troubles, a selfish partner will be conspicuously absent.
Rather than comforting you or helping to take your mind off your worries, they’ll be busy tending to their own needs and desires.
They may even avoid you altogether or make excuses for why they can’t be there for you. The truth is, your feelings and struggles just aren’t a priority for them.
A caring partner, on the other hand, will go out of their way to support you during tough times.
They’ll offer a shoulder to cry on, help out with chores and errands so you can rest, bring you your favorite treat, or simply sit with you so you don’t have to be alone.
Don’t settle for a selfish partner who leaves you high and dry when you’re struggling the most.
You deserve real love and compassion from someone who genuinely cares about your happiness and well-being.
If you’re with a selfish partner now, have an open and honest conversation with them about your needs. If they’re unwilling to change, you may need to walk away from the relationship.
9. Everything is on their terms
Another sign a partner is selfish is that everything is always about them.
Their needs, their wants, and their schedule come first all the time. Your needs are an afterthought, if considered at all.
They expect you to drop everything for them whenever they want, but they’re nowhere to be found when you need support.
Does your partner blow you off when you want to get together but expect you to be available whenever they call?
Do they make important decisions without consulting you first?
If your partner is constantly putting themselves first without regard for your needs and feelings, that’s a clear sign they’re self-centered.
Healthy relationships are based on mutual care, respect and compromise. Your happiness should be just as important to your partner as their own.
If they treat you like a second choice, it means they don’t value you or your relationship.
Conclusion
Being with a selfish partner can make you feel unloved, unsupported, and neglected.
If you constantly feel this way in your relationship, you need to do something about it.
You can try having an honest conversation about your needs and feelings, or seeking counseling.
However, if you don’t see any changes in your partner’s behavior, the healthiest choice may be to end the relationship and open yourself up to finding someone who will treat you with compassion and respect.
Whatever you decide, choose the path that will lead to your happiness and peace of mind.
Recommended reading: