10 Sneaky Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

signs your ex wants you back

Do you ever get that feeling that your ex is hovering around more than usual?

Maybe they’re liking your posts on social media, texting you random quotes during the day, or finding excuses to talk to you. You’re probably not imagining things!

Frequent communication could signal that your ex wants you back but doesn’t know how to say it. We’ve all been there before. 

Sometimes breakups are a mistake or done in the heat of the moment and we end up regretting our actions.

This article explores some of the biggest signs your ex wants you back. From changes in communication patterns to jealousy over new dates, we’ll cover all the telltale clues.

Read on to find out if your ex is trying to work their way back into your heart.


When a former partner wants to rekindle a relationship with you, they often show it in their words, actions, and body language.

If you suspect your ex wants to get back with you, watch out for the following signs:

1. They Reach Out To You Frequently

A major sign your ex wants you back is that they contact you often. If your ex is texting, calling, or messaging you out of the blue, that’s a sign they haven’t quite moved on yet.

Maybe they’re asking how you’re doing via chat, commenting on your social media posts, or sliding into your DMs every day.

Whatever the method, frequent communication after a breakup usually means your ex is still thinking about you.

Their excuses may seem harmless enough. For example, they may claim they’re just checking up on you or wanting to see how you’re doing.

But often there’s an underlying hope that the conversation might lead to reconciliation.

If you’re noticing a pattern of increased contact, especially around times you usually spent together, your ex is probably feeling lonely and missing what the two of you had.

Of course, every now and then an ex really does just want to be friends.

But if the communication seems like more than that, and if they’re suggesting meeting in person, there’s a good chance your ex wants to rekindle the spark that used to be between you.

If you’re open to giving the relationship another shot, their reaching out could be the perfect opportunity to explore your connection.

If not, you may need to be direct by telling them you’re not interested in anything beyond friendship.

signs your ex wants you back

2. They Ask To Meet Up

Does your ex often come up with reasons to see you in person? When an ex starts showing interest in face-to-face interactions with you, that’s a sign they may want to rekindle the spark.

Maybe they ask if you want to grab coffee or dinner “just to catch up.” Sure, it could be innocent, but often it’s their way of feeling out the situation and seeing if there’s still chemistry between you two.

Face-to-face contact allows them to check if there’s still a spark and gives them an opportunity to turn on the charm. Be cautious, as nostalgia and chemistry could cloud your judgment.

They may just be testing the waters to see your interest level. Say yes if you want to meet up with them, but keep things light and casual. See how the conversation flows and closely observe their body language.

Are they flirty or affectionate? Do they bring up good memories you shared or express regret over the breakup? These are all clues that they still have feelings for you.

Of course, there’s a chance they genuinely just want to be friends.

But if during your meetup they seem nervous or excited, laugh a little too loud at your jokes, or find small ways to touch you, there’s probably more to it than that.

Your ex most likely wants to reconnect, and this “casual” get-together is their way of testing the waters to see if you feel the same spark that’s still burning in their heart.

3. They Reminisce About Your Relationship

Another sign your ex wants to rekindle your relationship is that they can’t stop talking about the happy times you spent together.

Watch out if your ex starts sending you texts out of the blue like “Remember that time we went to the beach and built that giant sandcastle?” or “Do you remember our first date at the pizza place downtown? We laughed so hard that night.”

Bringing up nostalgic moments from your relationship is a sign your ex misses what you had. They’re recalling the good times you shared, and wishing they could relive and recreate them.

Your ex’s walk down memory lane shows their heart is still with you. Even though the breakup was hard, the fond memories you made together still linger in their mind.

While talking about the past can feel bittersweet, see it as an opportunity to connect with your ex again.

Respond by also sharing a happy memory, or simply say “That was a great time we shared.”

This can rekindle your connection and open the door to getting back together if that’s what you both want.

signs your ex wants you back

4. They Make An Effort To Impress You

A big sign your ex wants you back is that they’re trying hard to win you over.

For instance, they may be dressing to impress when you meet up or showering you with lots of compliments and affection.

Your ex is going the extra mile to please you because they want you to remember the good times you shared and how well you connected.

This excess flattery and charm is their way of showing you they’ve changed and are willing to put in the effort to make you a priority again. But don’t be swayed by grand gestures alone.

While it’s flattering that your ex wants another chance, look for real changes in the underlying issues that caused the breakup.

Before taking them back, think about why you split in the first place and whether you’re both willing to work to build a healthier relationship this time around.

If you see genuine progress, your ex’s efforts to impress you could be a sign they really want to make it work. But go slowly and trust your instincts.

5. They Say They’re Single And Not Looking To Date Anyone

If your ex tells you they’re single again and not seeing anyone new, this could be a hint they want you back.

Choosing to stay single after a breakup indicates that they’re still emotionally invested in the past and might not be ready to replace you in their lives.

Maybe the relationship they left you for didn’t work out, or they realized the grass isn’t always greener. Now they’re coming around to see if you’re still available and interested.

Tread carefully here. While it’s tempting to jump back into their arms, make sure they have changed and are willing to commit to you fully this time.

Have an honest conversation about what went wrong the first time around and how you both plan to make it right. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and what you need to be happy.

If they’re hesitant to talk about the underlying issues or don’t seem genuinely remorseful for how they treated you, don’t take them seriously.

But if they prove they’re in it for the long haul and have done some personal growth since you were last together, giving the relationship another shot could be worth it.

After all, people do change and mature in time. Follow your heart, but don’t leave your brain behind. Proceed cautiously until they’ve earned back your full trust and love.

6. They Get Jealous When They See You With Other People

An obvious sign your ex wants you back is that they show signs of jealousy when you talk about other people or if you’re dating someone new.

They may make snide or passive-aggressive comments about your new romantic interest, especially on social media.

Or they may suddenly want to spend more time with you or start texting you frequently right after bumping into the two of you together.

Jealousy is a sign that your ex isn’t over you yet. After a breakup, we want to believe that the other person will miss us terribly and regret ending things.

Seeing you happy with someone else bursts that fantasy bubble for your ex. Their jealousy reveals that they still care about you on some level, even if the relationship didn’t work out.

If your ex is exhibiting jealous behavior when they see you with someone new, it’s a sign they still have feelings for you and want another shot at being together.

Of course, some people simply don’t like seeing their exes move on out of ego or competitiveness.

But if the jealousy is accompanied by other signs like flirting, complimenting you, or trying to reconnect, it’s probably a sign your ex wants you back in their life again.

You have two options here—you can either give them another chance or make it clear you’re no longer interested.

signs your ex wants you back

7. They Apologize For Past Mistakes

Has your ex recently reached out to apologize for their behavior when you were together or how the breakup went down?

A sincere apology is a clear sign your ex regrets how things ended and wants to make amends.

They may say something like, “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I realize I never should have treated you that way. I’m sorry for how I acted.”

An apology like this shows they understand they made mistakes and are willing to own up to them.

Rather than bringing up the past, accept the apology graciously and move forward. You can even say something like, “Thank you for the apology. It means a lot.”

Keep your response brief but kind. How you react to the apology can set the tone for future interactions.

While an apology is a good first step, it will take consistent changed behavior to truly rebuild trust.

But their willingness to apologize suggests they value you and your relationship enough to make the effort to make things right.

8. They Show Interest In Your Life

Another sign your ex wants to reconnect is that they randomly hit you up to ask how you’re doing or what you’ve been up to lately.

When an ex is truly over you, they don’t care what’s going on in your life or want to make small talk.

But if your ex is asking questions about your job, friends, family, hobbies, and dating life, it shows they still care.

They’re fishing to see if you’re single or dating someone new. An ex doesn’t want to know these personal details unless they’re still interested in you on some level.

Their curiosity about your life events and milestones indicates that they’re not quite over you yet.

So if you notice your ex sliding into your DMs or constantly viewing your social media stories, there’s a good chance they want you back in their life again.

And if they are sharing details about their job, friends, or family without you asking, it shows they value your opinion and want to stay connected.

They might mention a promotion at work or ask your advice about a problem they’re having.

While it could be a friendly conversation, it’s often a way to keep the lines of communication open in hopes of rekindling the relationship.

The desire to know what’s going on with you and stay up to date on the latest happenings in your world points to the fact that they’re not quite ready to let you go completely.

Their interest in remaining a part of your life, even if in a small way, signals they may be open to rebuilding your relationship.

9. They Try To Spend More Time With You

A clear sign an ex wants you back is that they want to be around you often.

If your ex starts finding excuses to spend more time with you, it could be a sign they want to reconnect with you.

Maybe they call or text frequently, just to chat. Or, they suggest grabbing coffee or dinner to “catch up.”

While exes can certainly be friends, if the communication seems to be increasing out of the blue, they may be testing the waters romantically.

Your ex wanting to spend extra time with you means they miss the companionship and connection the two of you shared. The more they reach out, the more likely it is they want another chance.

However, don’t assume this automatically means they want to get back together.

The only way to know for sure is to have an honest conversation about the state of your relationship and what you both want.

If after communicating openly, you find you’re both interested in giving it another shot, spending additional time together will be key to rebuilding closeness and trust.

signs your ex wants you back

10. They Act Flirty Toward You

If your ex seems to be acting flirty or super affectionate around you lately, that’s a good sign they want you back.

Maybe they’re playfully teasing you, brushing up against you, or making lots of eye contact. Flirting shows they’re still attracted to you and trying to charm you.

After a breakup, the flirty behavior may decrease for a while.

But if after some time apart, your ex is bringing the playfulness back and directing it at you again, they’re probably testing the waters to see if you seem open to rekindling the spark.

Don’t be surprised if the compliments start flowing, or if they find small ways to touch your arm or shoulder.

Flirting can be a way for your ex to express their interest without directly admitting they made a mistake and want you back. Actions often speak louder than words.

If you’re interested, play along with the flirting and see where it leads.

If you’re noticing other signs too like them calling or texting more often, it’s likely your ex regrets the breakup and is hoping to win you over again.


Do you think your ex wants to reconnect with you? Breakups are often messy and complicated.

It’s understandable if you still have feelings for your ex even though it didn’t work out. But don’t go chasing ghosts or reading too much into things.

If your ex wants you back, they’ll find a way to make that crystal clear. In the meantime, focus on loving yourself and becoming a better person.

If it’s meant to be, your paths will cross again when the timing is right. For now, keep living your best life.

The universe has a funny way of working things out. Just breathe and trust that you’ll end up exactly where you’re meant to be.


Recommended reading:

9 Reasons Why You Should Never Go Back To Your Ex

How To Stop Thinking About Your Ex After A Breakup

How To Move On From A Relationship

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi
 | Blog

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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