How can you tell if your relationship is over?
Knowing when to end a relationship can be tricky because you want to make sure you’re doing the right thing, and at the same time, you don’t want to close the door too early.
You can know if it’s time to leave a relationship by looking for telltale signs that show up to confirm that there’s nothing you can do to renew your love.
For so many people their relationship is already over but they either can’t recognize the signs or don’t want to admit it to themselves.
As a result, they remain in a dead-end relationship struggling to breathe life into it instead of telling themselves the truth and moving on with peace.
The sooner you realize you’re wasting your time with someone who’s clearly wrong for you, the earlier you’ll move on and get your life back.
In this article, we dive deep into the signs you’ll notice when your relationship is no longer working.
21 OBVIOUS SIGNS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS OVER
Knowing when your romantic relationship is over is kind of a battle between your mind and heart.
Sometimes your heart doesn’t accept what your mind already knows, because emotions overshadow reasoning every single time in life.
If your mind is telling you that it’s time to move on but you’re holding on and hoping for a miracle, here are 21 sure signs your relationship is over:
1. You’re tired of fighting with your partner
One of the first signs your relationship is over is that you no longer bother to argue with your significant other about anything.
While some people may think it’s good to not fight as a couple, it’s actually a sign that one partner is intentionally being conflict avoidant because they think it’s not worth it to rock the boat.
In a healthy relationship, couples openly discuss their problems and frustrations with each other as a way to vent or find good solutions.
On the other hand, when you’re disinterested in improving a relationship, you’ll stop fighting with your romantic partner, which signifies that you’re detaching from them emotionally.
2. Your goals/dreams are misaligned
Having shared goals as a couple is important to the growth of a long-term relationship.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to pursue the same career path but you should be on the same page with your future plans.
If you’re unable to compromise or find a middle ground where you’re both happy in the relationship, it can create some problems in your life and you may not remain together for a long time.
It’s advisable to reconsider if it’s wise to stay in the relationship when you know your dreams and goals are not aligned.
3. You no longer communicate in a loving way
Healthy couples communicate with love, kindness, and compassion because they don’t want to deliberately hurt each other’s feelings.
A toxic couple in a failing relationship, on the other hand, uses one or more destructive communication styles that are aimed at putting the other person down and inflicting emotional pain.
If you’ve gotten to a point in your relationship where your communication is hostile and full of harsh words or verbal insults, it’s time to go your separate ways.
4. You get easily annoyed by your partner
Do you often roll your eyes and make sarcastic comments whenever your significant other commits an error or does something you dislike?
When every little thing your partner does feels like a torn in your flesh and you can’t wait to lash out when they make a mistake, it’s unwise to remain with them.
If you feel as if your partner is bothering you each time they ask you for something, this means you’ve lost your feelings for them and your relationship can no longer work.
5. There is little or no intimacy in your relationship
Research shows that couples who make love at least once a week are more happy in their relationship.
Due to busy schedules, kids, or health challenges, you may not get intimate with your partner often.
However, when you’re in a healthy relationship you’ll show each other affection and be romantic on a regular basis.
This means you’ll hug, kiss, hold hands, and laugh at silly things together.
If passionate romance is not a part of your relationship and you’ve not made love for a really long time, this is a huge sign that you’re in a loveless relationship.
6. One or both of you is cheating with someone else
Do you think your significant other is unfaithful to you? Are you sleeping with someone else because you’re no longer attracted to your partner?
If your answer to both questions is “Yes”, this means you’re not fully committed to improving your relationship as a couple.
Instead of sneaking behind each other’s back to cheat, it’s best to end the relationship so you can move on and be free to entertain anyone you want.
7. You prefer spending time with other people
Another obvious sign your relationship is over is that you rarely spend time with your partner and prefer to hang around other people like your friends, co-workers, and family members.
A couple in love can barely stay without each other for a long duration of time and they’ll prefer to spend more time together instead of going out with friends.
If the time you spend with your inner circle is more than the amount spent with your significant other, that’s a sign you’re losing interest in them.
8. You don’t care about each other anymore
One big sign a couple is emotionally connected is that they’ll show affection for each other at all times.
Even when they’re angry, they’ll still care for one another because they’re deeply in love and are interested in maintaining their bond.
But when a couple has fallen out of love, they’ll treat each other with utter contempt and not even bother about the well-being of the other person.
If you and your partner no longer care about each other, that’s a sign you’re in a dying relationship.
9. You don’t feel loved and wanted by your partner
Couples who love each other often speak their love language and make sure the other person knows that they’re cherished at all times.
If your partner isn’t putting any effort to make you feel loved such as giving you nice gifts, showering you with compliments, or showing you affection, that’s not a good sign.
When you don’t feel loved, wanted, or appreciated in a relationship, it can create feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem.
It’s best to leave a partner who isn’t ready to love you the way you want.
10. You are extremely unhappy in the relationship
An obvious sign you’re in a bad relationship is that you’ll experience deep feelings of sadness on a consistent basis.
While your happiness doesn’t depend on a romantic partner, being in a relationship definitely adds more color to a person’s life.
Plus the good times need to outweigh the bad moments to let you know your relationship is a blissful one.
A surefire way to know you’re with the right person is that you’ll smile when you meet your significant other after a long time apart and you’ll miss them whenever they’re not with you.
If your relationship no longer gives you joy and you’re unhappy most of the time, that’s a big sign you need to call it quits.
11. You’re not willing to put in more effort to make it work
A romantic relationship can only succeed if both partners are willing to put in the amount of work required to keep it afloat.
This means you’ll both create time for bonding and deep meaningful conversations regularly.
And you’ll also buy each other gifts on special occasions or set aside money for vacations.
If the thought of investing more time, energy, and money into your relationship sounds burdensome, it’s obviously time to leave.
There is no need in staying with your partner when you’re no longer interested in putting more effort to improve your love life.
12. You are confused about the direction of your love life
When you’re in a stable relationship, you’ll have an idea of what to expect in the nearest future.
Of course, you may not have the perfect picture of how things will turn out but you’ll know where you and your partner are headed because you constantly talk about your life goals.
However, if your relationship is falling apart, you’ll feel confused and uncertain about your love life.
And you’ll often find yourself lost in thought about whether to stay or leave.
13. You constantly complain about your partner to other people
In a healthy loving relationship, couples express their feelings openly with each other and talk about things that are bothering them.
This shows that they’re a strong team and care about one another’s well-being.
When one partner begins to go outside the relationship to complain to someone else and expose deep secrets about their significant other, this isn’t a good sign.
If you constantly vent to other people about your relationship issues instead of talking directly to your partner or going for counseling, this shows that your love life is not on the right track.
14. You secretly wish for a better relationship
Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming about how it would feel to date someone else or to be in a loving relationship?
Maybe you think you’ll be happier with a a person who has a different personality from your current partner.
Or that you’ll have more time for yourself if you weren’t stuck in the wrong relationship.
If you’re longing for something better than what you already have, it’s a sign you’re not satisfied with your love life and should consider ending the relationship.
15. You’re always angry with your partner
Another way to know when your relationship is over is that you’ll be unable to tolerate your partner’s flaws and shortcomings.
In other words, you’ll feel disgusted or irritated with everything they do and you just can’t stand them at all.
This is a huge indicator that you don’t love them anymore and can’t bear to be around them.
When you love someone, you’re kind, understanding, and patient toward them.
Even when they make a mistake, you’ll give them the benefit of the doubt because you believe they’re trying their best.
However, if you notice that you get angry at little things your partner does and no longer feel compassion for them, it means you’re becoming emotionally detached.
16. You no longer spend time together as a couple
One of the major signs of an emotionally connected couple is that they’ll spend quality time together on a regular basis.
Even though they may not go out on dates often or travel to exotic locations every month, they’ll find inexpensive ways to have fun as a couple.
Whether it’s binge watching shows on Netflix or stargazing in the backyard, a healthy couple consistently schedules bonding time to help keep their love alive.
If you no longer enjoy being around your partner and you both avoid spending time together, it means you’re in a failing relationship.
17. You act like roommates instead of a couple
Do you and your partner treat each other like colleagues or roommates?
Maybe you only talk about the necessary stuff but you don’t go deeper and you spend a lot of time apart.
Or you don’t tell each other any personal information about your lives anymore and you’re always so formal even when you’re at home together.
If there’s no emotional intimacy between you and your partner, that’s a big sign that your relationship is practically over.
18. You’re jealous of other couples who look happy
When you have a fulfilling relationship, you won’t feel jealous of other people’s love lives.
On the contrary, you’ll be reminded of your own beautiful relationship when you spot a happy couple making out in an alley or walking down the street holding hands.
If you feel sad or envious of the love other couples have for each other, that’s a sign there’s something missing in your life and your relationship isn’t giving you joy.
19. You don’t trust each other anymore
Trust is the foundation of every successful relationship and it’s what keeps a couple glued to each other.
When trust is lost, it can be hard to regain it because it takes time to build.
If you’re at the point where you and your partner don’t trust each other anymore, there’s no need to remain in the relationship.
You’re not going to achieve anything good as a couple if you don’t have trust.
If you’re constantly suspecting one another or accusing each other of engaging in bad behavior, it’s a sign that you need to go your separate ways.
20. You’re mentally and emotionally exhausted
If just thinking about your partner drains your energy and all you want to do is crawl into bed for days, that’s not a good sign.
Your romantic partner is supposed to give you butterflies in your tummy when you think of them or at least you’ll feel some warmth or joy in your heart when you remember them.
If the opposite is the case, this means your relationship is over and there is literally nothing you can do to revive the spark.
21. Your mind is telling you that it’s over
Do you have a sinking feeling in your heart that it’s the end of the rope for you and your partner?
You can’t explain it but you just feel this deep sadness that everything you worked for is crumbling?
That’s a sure sign that your relationship is over but you’re still in denial.
And until you find the courage to accept it, you’ll be stuck in a loveless relationship for a long time with no sense of direction.
Conclusion
When a relationship is dying, there are a few things you can do to revive the spark and one of them is to attend couple’s therapy with your partner.
However, if you’ve tried everything you can to get back those feelings of love and affection for each other and it’s not happening, it may be time to call it quits.
Luckily, the end of a relationship doesn’t mean your life has to be on standstill.
You can go on to love yourself more, make new friends, and do all the things you couldn’t do because of your relationship.
If you see most of these telltale signs your relationship is over, don’t waste your time trying to convince yourself that it could work in the nearest future.
It’s okay to acknowledge and accept that it’s over. It’s also okay to cry and mourn the beautiful relationship you once had.
You poured all your time, love, energy, and money into building a lasting relationship and when it fails, it can be heartbreaking.
It’s totally understandable if you need some time to think things over and clear your head before taking any action.
You can also benefit from reflecting on what went wrong and learn from your mistakes so your next relationship will be more successful.
Recommended Reading:
10 Things You Should Never Tolerate In A Relationship
13 Signs You’re In An Unhealthy Relationship
10 Warning Signs To End A Relationship
About The Author
Jennifer Dagi
Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.
As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.
She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.
Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.