7 Obvious Signs You’re Not Compatible With Your Partner

10 Signs You're Not Compatible

Incompatibility is one of the major causes of breakups and failed marriages.

When two people are not a perfect match, it can be difficult to build a long-term relationship together.

How can you tell if you’re not compatible with your partner?

If you’ve been with someone for a while and you think you may not be a good fit for each other, that’s one of the subtle signs you’re not compatible with each other.

The best relationships bloom when both parties want similar things and are ready to compromise when they disagree.

Being on the same page is a must for couples looking to build a thriving love life. 

Despite how easy it sounds though, finding a compatible partner is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do.

This is because people have different needs, expectations, and personality traits so finding two people who want the same thing can be difficult.

Often, two parties of a relationship move towards different directions with little or no compatibility.

When that happens, it’s only a matter of time before they fall apart.

7 signs you're not compatible with your partner
Sometimes, issues like these are evident in the early stages of a romantic relationship.

If a couple has entirely different answers for life’s big questions, a lack of compatibility will definitely be crystal clear.

Unfortunately, some people don’t recognize the subtle signs of incompatibility or maybe they do but they keep trying to work it out.

That’s why so many people spend years in relationships which aren’t moving in the right direction.

If you’re worried this is happening to you, open your eyes; the clues are more visible than you think.

There are usually clear signs you’re not compatible with someone if you look hard enough and it’s quite easy to notice them.

If you spot these signs in your relationship, chances are that you and your partner are not on the same page.


Signs You're Not Compatible With Your Partner

1. You feel you’re not compatible

If you feel even a slight discomfort that you may not be compatible, it is very likely you’re not.

The heart doesn’t lie but the mind often doesn’t agree with it. We all know what we want and we often know it’s the right thing when we see it.

But sometimes, we settle for less and refuse to see things the way they truly are because we are afraid we may not find the right partner.

So, we remain stuck with the same person who we will never be compatible with.

Do you think you’re incompatible with someone? If you’re not sure, you need to look closely.

The answer lies within your heart; search deeply and allow your mind to accept whatever your heart is saying. You already know the truth!


2. You have totally different lifestyles

It’s okay to have different lifestyles as a couple. After all, opposites attract but there should be a common ground between you and your partner.

If you’re a vegan and you’re dating someone who is into a keto diet, you may find it difficult cooking and eating together.

But, it’s definitely okay to hate exercise and be with someone who is a fitness buff.

Something as simple as the ways you spend your free time could be an indicator of whether or not you’re on the same page.

As a relationship progresses, it’s natural to spend more time at home together cuddling or watching movies.

If your partner is going out more when you’re still trying to know each other, it’s a warning sign that you may not be compatible.

It’s pretty clear you’re an introvert who loves staying indoors and your significant other is a social butterfly who loves socializing.

This may be a big issue for both of you in the long run because you don’t spend quality time together due to your different lifestyles.

If you’re spending nights alone and feel lonely in the relationship but your partner isn’t ready to do anything to change the situation, you’re more than likely on different paths.

The only way this kind of introvert-extrovert combination can work is when you’re both willing to compromise to make each other happy.

3. You don’t share common interests

If you’re headed towards commitment in your relationship, both of your interests should reflect that.

Even if one person is a soccer fan, the other person should be willing to support and even attend some matches without complaining.

Independently, you may start searching for baby names online or checking out sites for prospective engagement rings.

You might even spend your time as a couple searching property listings for the perfect house since you’re planning to move in together soon.

Each of these things moves your relationship forward and it shows you have a common interest in being together for the long haul.

But, if your partner seems to spend more time chatting on Facebook or checking football scores, they’re clearly not thinking about the future as much as you are.

It’s either they’re heading down a different road, or traveling at a much slower rate.

If you’re the only one who shows interest in the activities you do as a couple, that’s a sign you’re not compatible.

Signs you're not compatible

4. Your communication level is low

Great communication is what builds or breaks a relationship. Couples who talk about everything often end up together for a long time.

Another sign you’re not compatible is that you don’t communicate well with each other.

As you head towards commitment, you should spend more time talking about things that interest you like finances, intimacy, and the future.

If your significant other fails to engage in discussions like these even after you’ve used no-pressure methods, it’s a sure sign of trouble.

When you’re talking about interior decor for your dream home while your partner is chatting about local events, that’s one of the major signs you’re not compatible and there’s no denying that you’re both on different paths.

Couples who are compatible don’t have any difficulty holding conversations for as long as they want.

They practically talk about everything and this helps to move their relationship forward. 


5. The romance is terrible

Romance is important in most intimate relationships and it’s the major reason why couples break up or stay together.

Men love getting intimate with the woman they love and expect to have it as frequent as they want.

This could be a big issue for women who have a low desire for intimacy.

If your partner has a higher drive than you and you’re not satisfying his needs in bed, you’re definitely not going to stay together for the long haul.

If the romance is terrible and you’re not doing anything to improve it, your relationship is heading towards disaster.

One of the obvious signs of compatibility in a relationship is the existence of passion and great intimacy.

If there is no passion in your relationship or your intimate life is terrible, this is a definite sign you’re incompatible with each other.

To make your relationship work in the long run, you have to work hard to increase the passion and improve your love life.

If you refuse to upgrade your bedroom skills, your partner may be tempted to find someone else who matches his desire.

Signs you're not compatible

6. You don’t manage money as a team

Lack of financial management is also another major issue many couples face in romantic relationships.

Couples who intentionally talk about finances and manage their money as a team tend to avoid problems in their love life.

If you’ve never talked about money with your partner before or you don’t follow a budget as a couple, you may be incompatible with each other.

This is because couples who have different values about money find it difficult living in peace.

If you love saving money but your partner enjoys spending lavishly on the newest gadgets, you will have difficulties getting along.

If you want to have a successful relationship, you must talk about finances and manage your money as a team.

When you work on the same budget or money goals, you’ll understand each other better and even get closer.

This will definitely help you improve your relationship and minimize unnecessary conflict.

7. There is a constant struggle for power

Most couples are usually opposites; one person is gentle while the other is stubborn or aggressive.

And there are a few others who behave exactly alike; they are either very stubborn, which can lead to frequent clashes or they are very manipulative, which can lead to a lot of mind games.

The couples who have the same personality traits tend to struggle constantly for power because each person is trying to outdo the other in one way or another.

It’s no longer a relationship but a tug of war where they don’t listen to one another, make compromises, or support each other’s growth.

They usually do the opposite by always having the last word, insisting on getting their way all the time, and working to overthrow the other person.

These types of partners are very incompatible and their relationship will always be toxic unless they learn to work together.

If you and your partner constantly struggle for power in the relationship, this is a sure sign you’re incompatible.

You won’t have a peaceful love life except you’re both willing to allow the other person to take the lead.

7 signs you're not compatible

I’ve shared 7 obvious signs you’re not compatible with your partner and you may have a clearer picture of your relationship dynamic after reading this article.

Does being incompatible mean you need to give up on your relationship?

Not at all. Sometimes, men are slower to commit than women. They need more time to be sure that they’re doing the right thing.

You may find that giving your partner an ultimatum or simply letting them know how you feel could get you back on track.

If you still struggle to connect after investing much effort, you might be better off going your separate ways.

At least that frees you up to look for someone who’s absolutely compatible with you. If you don’t let go, your true love may never find you!

But, before you hastily break up with your partner, first find out if you’re compatible with this free love compatibility checklist.

It will highlight the areas you need to work on in order to make your relationship healthy and successful.


Recommended reading:

7 Ways You Can Be More Compatible With Your Partner

10 Sure Signs You’re In A Healthy Relationship

15 Telltale Signs You’re With The Right Person

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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