Do you constantly criticize yourself over minor imperfections and perceived failures?
Do you ruminate over every little mistake and see them as proof of your inadequacy?
When your inner voice is harsh and unforgiving, it can make you feel miserable despite your achievements.
It can also affect your relationship with others because you never feel good enough and may push people away.
Keep reading to discover some telltale signs you’re too hard on yourself and how to stop being a perfectionist.
9 SIGNS YOU’RE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF
Being hard on oneself can sometimes be a motivating force, but when it becomes too much, it creates self-doubt and hinders personal development.
If any of these signs ring true, you’re being too hard on yourself and need to give yourself a break.
1. You’re constantly worried about making mistakes
Are you obsessed with being right all the time? Do you agonize over what others think of you?
If small criticisms send you into a spiral of self-doubt, that’s a sign you’re being too hard on yourself!
When you worry about other people’s opinions of you, you’ll constantly try to live up to their expectations instead of focusing on your own journey.
Lighten up and embrace your imperfections. No one is judging you as harshly as you judge yourself.
Learn to appreciate yourself for who you are and give yourself permission to make mistakes.
Nobody is perfect, so why do you hold yourself to an impossible standard?
Failure is part of progress. With each mistake comes an opportunity to grow.
Rather than ruminating over what you did “wrong”, look for the lessons you need to learn and move forward with your life.
You can’t be 100% perfect all the time. So be gentle with yourself, celebrate small wins, and express gratitude for the simple things.
Ultimately, the only person you need to prove yourself to is you. Start practicing self-compassion today and allow yourself to be an imperfect human.
How To Stop Caring About Other People’s Opinions
2. You beat yourself up over small failures
Another sign you’re too hard on yourself is that you often criticize yourself over little mess-ups and imperfections.
For example, you may beat yourself up if you’re a few minutes late or forget some details.
Give yourself a break—you’re only human and it’s okay to make mistakes from time to time.
You don’t need to scrutinize every little flaw or shortcoming. Learn to embrace your imperfections and stop ruminating on your perceived failures.
No one is productive, cheerful, and motivated 24/7. Expect ups and downs in life and learn to be kind to yourself.
Focus on your wins, strengths, and successes instead of pointing out all the mistakes you make.
Life is meant to be enjoyed, not judged or criticized at every turn. Stop judging yourself harshly and practice self-love regularly.
When you stumble, pick yourself back up with kindness. You’re doing the best you can so cut yourself some slack.
3. You have trouble accepting compliments
Do you have a hard time accepting compliments gracefully?
It could mean that you have low self-esteem and always look down on yourself.
When someone pays you a compliment, you tend to brush it off, make excuses, or deflect it onto someone else. You may say things like:
“Oh, it was nothing.”
“I just got lucky.”
“My team helped a lot.”
While it’s good to be humble, constantly dismissing compliments can be a sign that you’re too self-critical.
You may have trouble internalizing praise and acknowledging your accomplishments.
Try saying a simple “thank you” next time someone compliments you. You work hard and deserve to feel good about your achievements!
Accepting compliments is a skill that takes practice. Start by listening to the compliment without judgment, make eye contact, smile, and say “thank you.”
You can follow up by asking a question to keep the conversation going, like “What specifically did you enjoy about it?”
Resist the urge to downplay your effort or pass the praise onto someone else.
You are worthy of compliments, so try not to be so hard on yourself! Learn to appreciate your strengths and accomplishments.
Saying a sincere “thank you” is the first step to overcoming self-criticism and building self-confidence from the inside out.
Start being more open to receiving compliments and don’t shy away from praise.
As you get used to accepting positive words of affirmation from others, your self-worth will increase and you’ll begin to love yourself more.
4. You hold yourself to unrealistic standards
Are you constantly pushing yourself to be perfect? Do you always strive to be the best in everything you do? It’s time to cut yourself some slack!
No one is flawless, so why do you expect perfection from yourself? Holding yourself to unrealistic standards will only lead to feelings of failure and inadequacy.
Loosen up those reins of self-control and accept that you will mess up, make mistakes, and be imperfect – just like every other human on the planet.
Learn to appreciate yourself for who you are instead of punishing yourself for who you’re not.
You are deserving of love and don’t need to have everything figured out.
Start practicing self-compassion by speaking to yourself with kindness and empathy.
Forgive yourself for perceived shortcomings and past mistakes. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s all anyone can ask of you.
Perfection is an unrealistic illusion that will only continue to make you feel inadequate if you keep chasing after it.
You are enough, just as you are. Believe in yourself and learn to appreciate each milestone along the journey of life.
5. You struggle to forgive yourself
A major sign you’re too hard on yourself is that you struggle to let go of past mistakes and forgive yourself.
We all mess up sometimes, it’s part of being human! But if you find yourself constantly beating yourself up for little mistakes, it’s a sign you’re being too hard on yourself.
Life is too short to dwell on regrets. Learn from your mistakes and then make a conscious effort to release them.
Try writing yourself a forgiveness letter to let go of feelings of guilt and shame.
Remind yourself of your good qualities and accomplishments. You are so much more than your flaws or imperfections!
Forgiving yourself is a gift you deserve. Make the choice each day to let the past be in the past.
Leave regret and self-blame behind and open your heart to new beginnings. You have so much potential; don’t let your mistakes drag you down.
6. You’re never satisfied with your work or achievements
When you accomplish something great, do you brush it off or immediately move on to the next goal?
If you find that you’re rarely satisfied with your work or achievements, it’s a sign you are too hard on yourself.
Rather than appreciating your wins, you zero in on what you did wrong or how you could have done better.
Stop beating yourself up over little imperfections. Everyone makes mistakes in life so focus on making progress, not being perfect.
Take time to recognize your achievements and celebrate them. Revel in the progress you’re making.
No one can be perfect, so ease up on the unrealistic expectations. You’re doing an amazing job; learn to appreciate yourself!
7. You always compare yourself to others
Do you constantly compare yourself to your friends and peers?
Maybe you expect perfection in every area of your life and beat yourself up over small mistakes.
When you see the curated social media posts of friends, you feel like you’ll never achieve as much or be as successful. But social media only shows the highlight reel.
If you tend to compare yourself to others, you may push yourself to the limits just to meet another person’s expectations even when it’s not what you want.
Everyone faces struggles and self-doubt at times. Focus on your journey rather than comparing it to others.
When you’re so focused on what others are doing, you overlook your accomplishments and fail to appreciate how far you’ve come.
Make a list of everything you’ve achieved this year and be proud of yourself! Celebrate your wins instead of constantly chasing what’s next.
The truth is, the only person you need to compare yourself to is you. Are you growing, learning, and becoming a better person? That’s what really matters.
So ease up on the self-criticism, be proud of your achievements, and start being kinder to yourself.
8. You’re always worried about living up to your high standards
Do you hold yourself to impossibly high standards and are never satisfied with your efforts?
Do you feel like you never accomplish enough each day, no matter how much you get done?
A major sign you’re too hard on yourself is that you never feel like you measure up and always push yourself to attain some unrealistic standard of perfection.
Go easy on yourself! No one is perfect, so stop holding yourself to an impossible standard.
Learn to appreciate yourself for who you are and focus on progress, not perfection.
Are you terrified of failing or making a mistake? Failure is how we learn and grow. Give yourself permission to fail and don’t be afraid to take risks.
Mistakes are stepping stones to success, so embrace them! Loosen up and laugh at yourself when you mess up.
Making mistakes means you’re trying, and that’s a sign you’re headed in the right direction.
If you have trouble relaxing because you feel you should be more productive, try to recharge by doing things you enjoy.
Make time for hobbies, socializing, and other downtime without guilt. You deserve to rest and have fun.
Learn how to unwind by leaving work at work and being fully present when spending time with loved ones.
Your health and relationships will benefit from you taking it easy on yourself!
9. You never feel good enough
Do you constantly feel like you need to do more or be better to measure up? If so, you’re probably too hard on yourself.
Maybe you think you need to attain a particular goal before you feel good about yourself.
Or you dream of doing something incredible so others can accept and love you.
Perfectionism is overrated, and you don’t need to hold yourself to an impossible standard.
Learn to appreciate yourself for who you are. You have so much wonderfulness to offer the world.
Stop seeking validation and approval from others. You don’t need anyone’s permission to feel good about yourself.
Give yourself permission right now to feel proud of how far you’ve come and be excited for what’s still ahead.
Rather than criticizing yourself harshly, practice self-compassion and be your own best friend.
Treat yourself with the same kindness and empathy you would show to someone you care deeply about.
Learn from your mistakes and perceived “failures” instead of beating yourself up over them.
You are amazing. Believe in yourself and remember your awesomeness each day you wake up.
The more you build yourself up, the less power your inner critic will have over you.
Conclusion
Are you constantly judging yourself for your perceived mistakes and imperfections?
Do you hold yourself to unrealistic standards of perfection that you’d never expect from another?
If this sounds familiar, make a commitment to show yourself more compassion.
Learn to appreciate yourself for who you are and give yourself a break. You deserve to treat yourself with kindness.
Make self-care a priority and be gentle with yourself. You’re doing great, so keep your head up and never stop pushing.
Recommended reading:
How To Forgive Yourself For Past Mistakes And Move On