9 Reasons Why Men Hide Their Feelings In A Relationship

reasons why men hide their feelings

So, you’ve been dating this great guy for a few months now and things seem to be going well.

The chemistry is there, you have fun together, and you’re really starting to develop feelings for him.

The only problem is, you have no idea how he really feels about you.

While you’ve been open and honest with him about your feelings, he hasn’t shared much at all about his.

It’s confusing and frustrating to not know how a man feels about you, especially when you’re deeply in love with him and want to know where you stand in the relationship.

If you find yourself asking, “Why do men hide their feelings?” You’re definitely not alone!

A lot of guys have a hard time opening up about their feelings in romantic relationships.

Even though it’s not uncommon for men to avoid being vulnerable in a relationship, this behavior can often leave their partners in the dark and make them feel insecure.

In this article, we’ll discuss some of the reasons why men hide their feelings and how you can make your man open up to you.

reasons why men hide their feelings


The reasons why men hide their feelings are complex and varied. But with compassion and better communication, emotional intimacy can be built in a relationship.

Recognizing the underlying causes for your partner’s silence and creating a safe space for him to share how he truly feels will help strengthen your connection.

If you’re wondering why your man doesn’t express his emotions often, here are a few reasons why men hide their feelings in a relationship.

#1 Fear of appearing weak or vulnerable 

One of the major reasons why men hide their feelings is because they are afraid of appearing weak or vulnerable.

For a lot of men, emotions are a sign of weakness, and sharing feelings openly can make them feel vulnerable or exposed.

This is because of the stereotype that “real men” should be stoic and emotionless.

From a young age, many men are taught that showing emotion is unmanly. They’re told to “man up” and keep feelings bottled up inside.

So, they learn to put on a brave face and hide what’s really going on under the surface.

This conditioning can be hard to shake. When a guy starts dating someone, letting his guard down and sharing how he truly feels exposes him in a way that makes him uncomfortable.

If your man is hiding his feelings, he may be worried that you might see him differently or think less of him, especially at times when you have doubts or feel insecure in the relationship.

But the reality is that being open and honest is the only way to build real intimacy in a relationship.

While it may feel risky, sharing your feelings with someone who cares about you can be incredibly rewarding.

Have a genuine conversation with your man and encourage him to share his hopes, dreams, fears, and insecurities with you.

Remember to create a safe and non-judgmental space where he can be vulnerable and honest about his feelings.

This will help to deepen your connection and improve your relationship as a whole.

reasons why men hide their feelings

#2 Difficulty expressing emotions 

Some men simply feel uncomfortable expressing emotions openly. They were raised to believe that emotions are private and should be kept hidden.

Expressing feelings in an intimate relationship does not come naturally to them, so they choose to avoid it.

Some men also struggle to identify how they are feeling or the root cause of their feelings.

Many men haven’t been taught from an early age to recognize and name their feelings. So when strong emotions come up, they can feel overwhelmed and unable to express them.

Not knowing how to articulate emotions or where to begin the conversation causes many men to remain silent even when it’s absolutely necessary for them to communicate their feelings.

Ideally, emotional sharing often leads to greater intimacy and closeness between a couple.

However, this can feel unfamiliar or scary for those who are not used to expressing their feelings. It may bring up worries about losing independence or changing relationship dynamics.

The good news is these challenges can be overcome with conscious effort and practice.

Always encourage your man to make an attempt to identify what he’s feeling, find the words to express it, and share it with you.

Try to be open to listening without judgment when he shares his feelings with you as well.

Emotional intimacy takes time, but with patience and understanding, you can build a deeper connection with your significant other.

#3 Fear of being judged or criticized 

Another reason why guys struggle to open up about their feelings in romantic relationships is because of the fear of judgment and criticism.

For many men, opening up about their feelings can feel like a sign of weakness or vulnerability.

They worry that if they share their true feelings, especially when they feel sad or insecure, their partner will judge them as being weak or too emotional, which leads them to keep their emotions hidden.

This fear of judgment and desire to appear strong and in control causes them to bottle up their emotions.

Society often conditions men from an early age to hide their emotions and “be tough.”

Expressing feelings openly may make some men feel exposed or like they are losing control, so they have learned to keep their feelings hidden as a form of self-protection.

If your man is constantly bottling up his feelings, it could be because of the fear of judgment and criticism.

Try not to criticize or mock him whenever he shows his real feelings.

Being open-minded and understanding can make a man feel safe and secure to bare his heart open to you.

reasons why men hide their feelings

#4 Not wanting to burden their partner 

Certain men hide their feelings because they don’t want to burden their partner with their problems or insecurities.

They would rather deal with issues on their own than risk upsetting or disturbing the woman they care about.

However, this approach often backfires as their partner can feel shut out and unable to provide support.

Men are also prone to feeling like they need to handle emotional difficulties on their own and not involve you in their personal issues.

Your man may avoid sharing how he truly feels to protect you from his worries or concerns. He likely believes dealing with challenges alone is a sign of strength and independence.

However, this tendency to internalize feelings often does more harm than good for both individuals and relationships.

Let your man know that it’s okay for him to share some of his problems with you and that you don’t mind offering help from time to time.

#5 Protecting their pride and self-esteem 

Men often hide their feelings to protect their pride and ego. As much as society has progressed, many men still feel that expressing emotion is a sign of weakness.

Admitting they have doubts, fears, or anxieties can make them feel vulnerable, and vulnerability is seen as unmanly.

This is especially true in romantic relationships where men want to appear strong and in control.

Showing emotional depth may make them feel like they’re giving up power to their women.

Rather than openly communicate, men will bottle up their feelings to avoid uncomfortable conversations.

They think that by not talking about issues, the problems will somehow disappear or resolve themselves.

Unfortunately, this usually makes the situation worse and builds resentment in the relationship.

The truth is, sharing feelings and being emotionally vulnerable with a romantic partner creates trust and brings couples closer together.

While it may be difficult, having honest conversations about doubts, fears, and anxieties is the only way to achieve real intimacy.

If men can overcome their instinct to protect their pride, and instead prioritize emotional openness, they’ll find that expressing feelings is a sign of strength, not weakness. 

reasons why men hide their feelings

#6 Avoiding relationship conflict 

Avoiding conflict is another common reason why men hide their feelings.

They worry that sharing their true thoughts or concerns may start an argument or lead to hurt feelings.

So they say nothing to keep the peace in the relationship, even if it means sacrificing emotional intimacy.

Most times, revealing deep feelings and insecurities can lead to difficult conversations and potential arguments in a relationship.

To avoid conflict and maintain the status quo, some men will keep their feelings hidden from their partners.

They believe it’s easier to hide their true emotions than to work through challenging relationship issues.

Of course, avoiding conflict by hiding your feelings is not a healthy long-term strategy.

The misguided attempt to avoid short-term discomfort ultimately damages the long-term health of the relationship.

While it may seem easier in the moment, it destroys intimacy and trust in the relationship over time.

The best approach is for men to push through their discomfort and open up to their partners. This can increase mutual understanding and bring couples closer together.

If your man is hiding his feelings from you, it’s likely because he’s worried you won’t understand or empathize with his feelings, which can lead to feelings of frustration and isolation.

You need to encourage your man to take a chance, open his heart, and allow himself to be fully seen.

Explain to him that hiding his feelings only creates distance in the relationship and that you deeply appreciate his openness and willingness to communicate with you.

#7 Past trauma and emotional baggage 

Many men who hide their feelings in relationships do so because of past emotional trauma or baggage.

This can include anything from a previous relationship that ended badly to childhood experiences that have left a lasting impact.

Men who have been hurt in the past may find it difficult to trust others and may fear being vulnerable again.

They may also have difficulty expressing their emotions, as they have learned to suppress them to protect themselves from further pain.

In some cases, men may not even be aware of the emotional baggage they are carrying.

They may have buried their feelings so deeply that they no longer recognize them as a source of their behavior.

You must be patient and understanding when dealing with a man who has past traumas or emotional baggage.

He may need time and space to work through his issues and may require professional help to communicate better.

#8 Lack of trust and intimacy issues 

Men who have difficulty trusting their partner or struggle with intimacy issues may be more likely to hide their feelings in a relationship.

This can be due to past experiences that have caused them to feel vulnerable or betrayed, leading them to put up emotional walls as a way of protecting themselves.

In some cases, men may have a fear of being judged or rejected by their partners if they express their true feelings.

This fear can stem from a lack of trust in the relationship, as well as a fear of being vulnerable and open with their partner.

Intimacy issues can also play a role in why men hide their feelings.

If a man has difficulty connecting emotionally with his partner, he may be less likely to share his feelings and emotions with her.

This can be due to a variety of factors, such as past trauma, anxiety, or a lack of experience with emotional intimacy.

Whatever the case, lack of trust and intimacy issues can be significant barriers to open communication in a relationship.

Both partners need to work together to build trust and create a safe space for emotional vulnerability, which can help to foster a deeper and more meaningful connection.

reasons why men hide their feelings

#9 Lack of emotional intelligence and communication skills 

Men who hide their feelings in a romantic relationship often lack emotional intelligence and communication skills.

They may not be aware of their own emotions or how to express them effectively to their partner. This can cause misunderstandings and lead to a breakdown in communication.

Emotional intelligence involves the ability to recognize and understand one’s own emotions and the emotions of others.

Men who struggle with this may have difficulty identifying their own feelings or understanding the emotions of their partner.

As a result, they may avoid discussing emotional topics or shut down when their partner tries to talk about their feelings.

Communication skills are also essential for a healthy relationship.

Men who struggle with communication may have difficulty expressing themselves clearly or listening actively to their partners.

They may avoid discussing difficult topics or become defensive when their partner brings up concerns or issues.

Men must learn to develop emotional intelligence and good communication skills to have a successful romantic relationship.

This can involve seeking therapy, practicing mindfulness, or engaging in communication exercises with their partner.

By improving these skills, your man can learn to express his emotions effectively and build a stronger connection with you.


There are many reasons why the man in your life may be holding back from opening up emotionally.

While it can be frustrating, try to be patient and understanding.

Societal pressures and a lifetime of conditioning have made it difficult for many men to be vulnerable, even with those closest to them.

Rather than nagging or interrogating your partner, create a safe space where he feels comfortable sharing at his own pace.

Reassure him that you’re there to listen without judgment. With time and effort, he can learn to better express himself, but change won’t happen overnight.

If you meet him halfway, he may just surprise you by letting you in. But for now, avoid taking his behavior personally and give him the space he needs.

With patience and support from you, your man can get better at emotional expression and your relationship will improve over time.


Recommended Reading:

9 Real Reasons Why He Won’t Commit To You

12 Reasons Why He’s Ignoring You

How To Build Trust In A Relationship

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi
 | Blog

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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