How To Tell If Someone Is Lying In A Relationship

how to tell if someone is lying in a relationship

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Have you ever been in a situation where you suspected your partner was lying to you, but you were unsure?

Nobody likes it when their significant other is being dishonest or secretive.

However, knowing how to tell if someone is lying in a relationship can be challenging.

You really want to trust your romantic partner but can’t ignore the nagging feeling that they’re hiding something from you.

If this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone and it’s possible to uncover the truth with time and patience.

In this article, we’ll discuss not only the signs that someone is untruthful in a relationship, but also provide tips on how to confront and handle the situation with tact and respect.

Being aware of the signs of lying can help you protect yourself and the emotional connection you have with your significant other.

Whether you’re trying to figure out if something’s off or responding to a situation where you suspect dishonesty, these tips will serve as an invaluable guide.

how to tell if someone is lying in a relationship


Do you suspect your significant other is keeping secrets or lying to you? Take a look at some common signs of lying in a relationship:

1. Lack of eye contact 

The body often betrays us when we tell lies, so looking out for particular body language signs is key to spotting when someone may be lying to you in a relationship.

One significant telltale sign of dishonesty is the lack of eye contact. If your partner can’t make eye contact with you while talking, that’s a red flag you need to pay attention to.

It could mean they’re being guarded and don’t want you to look too closely at their expressions.

2. Fake or forced smile 

Another obvious sign of dishonesty is the forced smile.

Even if someone has a wide grin on their face, if it doesn’t reach their eyes, then it could be a sign that they’re not being entirely truthful with you.

In addition, watch for changes in posture; if your partner suddenly looks tense or shifts around awkwardly during a conversation, that could indicate that they’re hiding something.

By looking out for common body language signs, you can become better skilled at noticing behaviors that might suggest something isn’t quite right in your relationship.

how to tell if someone is lying in a relationship

3. Vague or overly detailed explanations 

Being able to tell if your partner is lying starts with listening attentively to their explanations.

It’s normal to be a bit hazy on the details here and there when talking about what happened or what someone said.

But if your significant other is consistently getting foggy on important details, it’s a sign that they could be lying to you.

On the other hand, take caution if they get overly detailed in their explanation.

An excessive amount of information can be an attempt to distract you from the truth or avoid answering a direct question.

If they tend to throw too much information into their explanations, they may be trying to steer you away from the actual facts of the matter.

Overall, pay attention to how detailed and consistent their stories are—and don’t forget to look for other signs of lying too!

4. Changes in voice or speech patterns 

Body language and facial expressions can help you figure out if someone is lying, but so can the way they talk.

If you’re trying to tell if someone is lying in a relationship, pay close attention to how they speak—notice if their speaking pattern changes, or if there are certain words they use more often.

You can tell when someone is lying if they:

• Speak too quickly

One thing to watch out for is if the person starts speaking too quickly. This could be a sign that they’re anxious to get through their story before you figure out the truth.

• Avoid direct answers

Pay attention to any indirect answers or evasive statements. Liars will try to avoid providing direct answers since this could make them more prone to getting caught in their lies.

They may also be less likely to answer “yes” or “no” questions directly, which can make it hard to follow the story they’re telling.

• Provide overly specific details

False details can also be an indication that someone isn’t being truthful.

A lying partner may include unnecessary details when telling a story to make it sound more believable and convincing.

Watch out for any facts or stories that seem too specific—these could be fabrications rather than facts.

Ultimately, it’s important to be attentive and listen carefully so that you can pick up on small changes in voice and speech patterns that could indicate when someone is lying.

5. Defensive behavior and accusations 

If you think somebody is lying to you in a relationship, you can also tell through their behavior and actions. 

For example, if the person starts to become defensive or reacts negatively when asked questions, it’s a sign that they might not be telling the truth.

Also, watch out for accusations being thrown at you. If they’re trying to cover their own dishonest behavior, they may flip the script and accuse you of doing something wrong.

Note that this doesn’t mean all defensive behavior is linked with lying. It could simply be a sign of insecurity being expressed.

The key is to look out for patterns and figure out whether there’s any cause for suspicion or not.

Make sure to ask questions and have an open conversation about it with your partner before jumping to any conclusions.

how to tell if someone is lying in a relationship

6. Inconsistency in stories and details 

If someone is lying to you, they will often tell stories or give details that are inconsistent with the facts.

They may also have difficulty providing specific details of events or activities that they describe.

Typically, when people report events, they give the facts and tell what happened—there’s no emotion involved.

But when they re-tell events, including those that didn’t happen, there’s often emotion displayed.

If you notice that your partner starts to exhibit changes in their body language while talking or displays changes in their facial expressions as they’re speaking, it could be an indication of a lie.

It’s a good idea to pay attention to any holes that appear in the stories or details your partner gives you too.

If something doesn’t add up, it could be a sign that your partner is lying to you. Ask questions if something isn’t clear and don’t be afraid to push for more details.

If your partner is telling the truth then more information should be available to them which will help build trust between the two of you and provide clarity going forward.

6. You feel they’re hiding something from you 

Do you have a gut feeling that your partner is being dishonest? Trust your instincts.

If something feels off, it probably is — so pay attention and stay alert for any signs that something doesn’t add up.

It’s easy to feel like you’re overreacting when you suspect someone of lying, but it’s always better to err on the side of caution.

Lying in relationships can take many forms — from little white lies to massive deceptions.

But oftentimes, the signs that someone is trying to hide something are subtle but persistent.

Take note if you notice any of the following:

Talks a lot more than usual when they answer your questions

Avoids eye contact when they talk to you

Inconsistent or vague details about their answers

Noticeable changes in body language such as fidgeting, sweating, or blushing

Abruptly leaving or changing the topic

So what do you do when you find out your significant other is lying to you?

The most important thing is that you trust yourself and don’t let anyone manipulate or gaslight you into believing that your intuition is wrong.

Continue reading to discover how to deal with constant lying in a relationship.

how to tell if someone is lying in a relationship


Knowing how to tell if someone is lying in a relationship isn’t easy.

But understanding the signs of dishonesty can help you protect yourself and even preserve your relationship in the long run.

If you think your partner is lying to you, here are a few steps for dealing with them effectively:

1. Don’t make assumptions 

Avoid jumping to conclusions or accusing your significant other of lying without proof.

You don’t want to paint them in a negative light or damage the trust and respect within the relationship before finding out all the details first.

2. Gather evidence 

Many people deny their actions when they’re confronted, so it’s crucial to have compelling evidence before accusing your partner of wrongdoing.

Pay attention to their body language and observe their facial expressions as they’re talking to you, as well as what they are saying.

This will help you determine whether there’s evidence that your partner is not giving you the whole truth.

3. Confront your partner in a non-aggressive manner 

Once you suspect something is wrong in your relationship, the worst thing you can do is start an argument or become overly confrontational.

Take a deep breath and approach your partner by simply asking them if there’s anything they need to tell you.

Ask open-ended questions that require more than just yes or no answers so that you can get a better idea of what’s really going on.

If it appears as though your spouse isn’t being completely honest with you, demand that they provide more information on the situation before accepting their explanation for things.

How to deal with lying spouse

4. Set healthy boundaries 

When it comes to dealing with a lying partner, it pays to set solid boundaries.

So if someone is being dishonest with you, make it clear what isn’t accepted and let them know what the repercussions will be if they keep lying.

This can help them open up about their deception and create a situation where both of you can talk things out and try to come up with a resolution.

Also, setting boundaries can help put a stop to any manipulative behavior from your partner, as they will know what the consequences are for continuing their dishonesty.

5. Communicate your expectations clearly 

When it comes to romantic relationships, it’s important to ensure that your partner knows what you can’t tolerate.

Make sure that your expectations are communicated clearly so that there is no confusion or misunderstanding on either side.

This way, there will be no excuse for future misbehavior since your expectations have been clearly articulated and understood by both parties.

6. Establish consequences for bad behavior 

It’s also important to establish consequences that are fair and proportionate to any breach of trust or dishonesty by your partner.

Consider discussing these ahead of time so that everyone knows where they stand when it comes to the terms of the relationship.

This can help ensure that each person feels safe and respected within the relationship, making it easier for everyone involved to move forward honestly and healthily.

How to deal with lying in a relationship

7. Work on rebuilding mutual trust 

Trust is the foundation of any relationship and it can be hard to rebuild after it has been broken.

If you decide to forgive your partner and stay with them, take some time to reflect on whether the trust that existed before can be restored.

An effective way to rebuild trust in a relationship is through constructive communication.

Both partners in the relationship need to express themselves without judgment or blame.

The key is understanding why the lie was told in the first place.

Once you know this, you can begin working together and finding ways to move forward so that something like this doesn’t happen again in the future.

8. Seek professional guidance 

Lying can be an indication of a bigger issue and it may be beneficial to seek help from a counselor or therapist if you can’t resolve your issues amicably.

It’s important that you work towards re-establishing trust by engaging openly and honestly about your concerns and expectations from each other.

If you experience difficulties in fixing your broken relationship, it’s best to consult a licensed therapist for advice and support.


Trust is essential in any relationship and lies have a devastating impact on a couple’s bond.

So, if you’ve noticed any of the signs we mentioned in this article, it may be time to have an honest conversation with your partner.

At the end of the day, no one wants to be lied to—regardless of whether it’s a romantic relationship, a friendship, or a business relationship.

It’s important to watch out for red flags such as when someone speaks quickly and without pauses, avoids eye contact while they’re talking, and shifts their body language or changes the topic suddenly when asked difficult questions.

All of these behaviors can point to the possibility that your partner is not telling the truth.

Paying close attention to body language, emotions, and words can go a long way in spotting a liar, but it’s up to you to take the next step and confront your partner in order to build a better relationship.


Recommended Reading:

10 Subtle Signs Of Disrespect In A Relationship

How To Solve Relationship Problems Without Breaking Up

How To Know When To Walk Away From A Relationship

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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