7 Reasons Men Avoid Sleeping With Their Wives During Pregnancy

reasons men avoid sleeping with their wives during pregnancy

It’s totally normal for a man to feel weird about getting intimate with his pregnant wife.

There’s a whole new life growing inside her, and it can make intercourse feel different or awkward.

But going months without physical affection can strain a relationship.

The good news is there are many ways for a couple to stay connected while expecting a baby.

Keep reading to discover the reasons men avoid sleeping with their wives during pregnancy and what you can do to keep the spark alive.

reasons men avoid sleeping with their wives during pregnancy


If your husband doesn’t seem that interested in lovemaking, it can make you feel confused, hurt, or unloved.

You probably thought you’d look more attractive to him during pregnancy but instead, he’s avoiding intimacy with you.

You may even be wondering if he’s secretly cheating on you and getting his needs met elsewhere. But don’t take it personally.

Anxiety about the baby, financial stress, and concern for your well-being can all affect a man’s desire for intimacy.

Here are a few reasons men avoid sleeping with their wives during pregnancy.

1. They are turned off by their wife’s pregnant belly

Many men struggle with being intimate when their partner is expecting.

Her changing body can be a turn-off, even though it’s a natural part of the pregnancy process.

It’s not that they don’t love and care for their wife, but seeing her belly grow over the months can make some men nervous about physical intimacy.

They may feel intimidated or unattracted to their partner’s new shape.

It’s normal to feel this way, but a man needs to communicate with his partner and let her know he still finds her desirable but is trying to adjust to the changes.

Pregnancy is a big transition, and it’s understandable if intercourse slows down or takes a temporary backseat.

However, avoiding intimacy altogether for the entire nine months is unhealthy for your relationship.

Men need to make an effort to still be affectionate in other ways to stay connected to their partner.

This challenging time will pass, but your connection as a couple needs to remain strong.

Talk to each other openly about your feelings, be willing to compromise, and try new positions or activities you’re both comfortable with.

Your love life will return with time, you just have to adjust to your new normal.

reasons men avoid sleeping with their wives during pregnancy

2. They are afraid of hurting the unborn baby

Another reason men avoid getting intimate with their wives during pregnancy is because they are concerned about the baby’s safety.

A lot of expectant dads worry that making love with their pregnant partner could somehow hurt the baby.

The truth is, for most low-risk pregnancies, lovemaking is perfectly safe for the baby.

The baby is protected by the strong muscles of the uterus as well as the amniotic fluid surrounding them.

However, as the pregnancy progresses into the third trimester, certain positions may become more uncomfortable for the mother as the belly expands.

The key is open communication with your partner about what feels good for both of you.

She may find that certain positions are more pleasurable, so be willing to experiment.

If your husband is worried, reassure him that the baby is well-protected and can’t be hurt during intercourse as long as he’s gentle.

Pregnancy can be a great time to have fun in the bedroom as hormones and increased blood flow may enhance a woman’s sensations during lovemaking.

But remember to take things slow and be extra gentle. Avoid deep penetration and any positions that put weight on her belly.

Woman on top, spooning, and doggy style are usually the most comfortable positions for pregnant women.

However, every woman is different so it’s essential to listen to each other’s needs and find out what works for you as a couple.

3. They feel weirded out by the presence or movements of the baby

It’s normal for expectant dads to feel strange about their partner’s changing body during pregnancy.

As the baby grows and becomes more active in the womb, some men report feeling awkward, uncomfortable, or even grossed out by the kicks and movements under the skin.

The realization that there’s now an actual living being inside the woman you’re intimate with can be a huge turn-off for some.

The baby bump presents a physical barrier that wasn’t there before and it can feel like making love when someone is watching.

Not everyone enjoys being intimate in the presence of others so it can be a challenge for some men to sleep with their wives once the baby begins to move in the womb.

These feelings may fade over time as the pregnancy progresses and the man feels the baby move and connects with it. But initially, it may take some getting used to for men.

It’s important to communicate openly with your partner about these issues and compromise by exploring other intimate activities you both feel comfortable with.

Give each other massages, take a bath together, engage in foreplay, or just cuddle in bed.

Staying close in other ways can help strengthen your connection during pregnancy.

The weirdness is usually temporary, as the baby arrives, the woman’s body begins to return to its former state, and the husband may develop a new appreciation for his wife.

But being open and honest with each other from the start will make the journey easier.

reasons men avoid sleeping with their wives during pregnancy

4. They are extremely worried about the cost of having a baby

The thought of how much it costs to raise a child today is downright scary.

Between diapers, daycare, children’s activities, and college, you’re looking at hundreds of thousands of dollars.

No wonder the idea of making love during pregnancy doesn’t seem so appealing to a lot of men.

Instead of focusing on intimacy, many expectant dads obsess over how they’ll provide for this new little life when money’s already tight.

Will they have to take a second job or delay buying a house to make ends meet? The financial stress and responsibility can feel overwhelming.

Some men also see pregnancy as the point of no return financially. Once the baby arrives, there’s no going back to carefree spending.

They’ll have to budget, cut back on expenses, and even make some sacrifices.

For guys used to splurging on hobbies, travel, or nights out, this adjustment period can be difficult.

Of course, the rewards of fatherhood are priceless. But that doesn’t make the costs any less intimidating.

If your husband is worried about money, talk about your concerns and work through them together to find solutions to ease the burden.

5. It’s difficult to find a comfortable lovemaking position

When a woman’s belly starts growing during pregnancy, comfortable lovemaking positions become tricky.

Missionary is out, and doggy style may not feel good for long, especially if there’s a significant height difference. You’ll have to get creative if you want to make love.

Try spooning—it allows you to be intimate while avoiding pressure on the woman’s abdomen.

If the woman is not too far along, lying on the edge of the bed with the man standing can work. This position gives him more control over speed and depth.

Reverse cowgirl may also be enjoyable as it allows for deep penetration without the awkwardness of maneuvering around her belly.

Don’t be afraid to laugh with each other as you experiment—a sense of humor and open communication will help you both feel more at ease and connected as you eagerly wait to meet your baby.

If lovemaking becomes uncomfortable, work together to find positions you can both enjoy throughout the pregnancy.

reasons men avoid sleeping with their wives during pregnancy

6. They are solely focused on the delivery date

When a woman is pregnant, it’s understandable that the delivery date will be front of mind for the husband.

As her body goes through immense changes during pregnancy to accommodate the growing baby, intimacy may be challenging or just not a high priority.

Some men find that they have a hard time seeing their wife as a sensual being during this time and may view her more as a mother-to-be instead.

For many expectant fathers, the focus is squarely on the baby and that future date when they’ll finally get to meet the new addition to the family.

Between preparing the nursery, attending doctor’s appointments, and planning for the delivery, the husband’s mind is so occupied with the logistics of having a new baby that intimacy may be the last thing on his mind.

While intimacy may ebb and flow during pregnancy and the postpartum period, open communication with your partner about each other’s needs, desires, and experiences can help strengthen your connection.

Make time to express appreciation often and remember to show affection in other ways. This season of life will pass, and your love life as a couple will return.

For now, focus on supporting each other through this exciting new chapter of parenthood.

7. They are upset about the pregnancy

A common reason men avoid intimacy is that they struggle with the idea of their partner being pregnant.

They may have not been ready for a baby yet or were hoping for a baby of a different gender.

Either way, the disappointment and resentment over the pregnancy can negatively impact their desire to be intimate.

For men who wanted to wait before having kids, an unplanned pregnancy can be an unwelcome surprise.

The weight of impending fatherhood and added responsibility may make them pull away physically and emotionally from their partner.

They need time to process the news and come to terms with the life changes ahead before they can reconnect intimately.

On the other hand, some men have their hearts set on having a boy to carry on the family name or a girl to dote on as “daddy’s little princess.”

Finding out the baby’s gender is the opposite of what they were hoping for can be a huge letdown.

Though they love their partner and unborn child, gender disappointment is a real thing.

The sadness they feel may temporarily affect their interest in physical intimacy until they have adjusted their expectations and are able to bond with the idea of the baby that is on the way.

With patience, understanding, and open communication, men can work through their conflicting feelings before the baby arrives.

If your husband is upset about the pregnancy, empathize with him and reassure him of your love.

The disappointment will fade, and he’ll eventually come around to embrace the new life you’re creating together.

reasons men avoid sleeping with their wives during pregnancy


Pregnancy does not mean an end to intimacy with your partner. However, as your body changes, intercourse may feel different or uncomfortable.

The good news is there are some simple tips to help make intimacy during pregnancy enjoyable for both of you.

• Try new positions: Missionary position or woman on top can be uncomfortable for the belly.

Spooning, doggy style, or side-lying positions take the pressure off. Use pillows under your belly for support.

• Stay intimate in other ways: Focus on kissing, hugging, holding hands, massaging, and engaging in oral to stay connected physically and emotionally.

Take intercourse off the table if needed and explore other ways to stay close.

• Use a lubricant: Hormone changes can cause dryness, so use a water-based lubricant to make lovemaking more comfortable and enjoyable.

• Talk to your doctor about any concerns: If you have a high-risk pregnancy or other issues, talk to your doctor.

They can advise if intercourse is safe and recommend any precautions to take.

• Put your partner’s fears at ease: Many men worry about harming the baby during intercourse.

Reassure your partner that lovemaking will not hurt the baby. The amniotic sac and strong uterus help to protect the baby.

• Relax and go slowly: Anxiety and tension only make discomfort worse. Do some light foreplay to relax, then slowly transition to lovemaking.

If something does not feel good, try another position or activity. The key is staying relaxed and listening to your body.

Making time for regular intimacy and bonding will help ensure your relationship stays healthy.

Be patient with yourself and each other, communicate openly about your feelings, set small goals, and appreciate the little moments you share each day.

The difficult period will pass, but the effort you put into your relationship will continue to strengthen your connection for years to come.


Pregnancy can be a challenging time for couples. You may have to deal with a lack of intimacy, financial stress, anxiety about the baby, and other issues.

It’s normal for men to feel unsure or hesitant during this period. To stay connected to each other, educate yourselves, show affection in other ways, and talk about your concerns or desires.

A woman’s needs don’t disappear just because she has a baby bump so don’t shy away from intimacy.

Remember, this phase won’t last forever. Soon you’ll be holding your new baby and entering the next chapter together.

For now, be patient, express your love in any way you can, and work as a team to overcome your challenges.


Recommended reading:

Top 10 Reasons Couples Stop Making Love

9 Reasons Why Your Husband Won’t Sleep With You

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi
 | Blog

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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