9 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date A Married Man

reasons why you shouldn't date a married man

You’re sitting at the bar, sipping a glass of wine after a long day, when an attractive stranger starts chatting you up.

He’s charming, handsome, and seems genuinely interested in you. But then you notice the wedding ring on his finger.

You know you should walk away, but the temptation is real. We’ve all been there before—where we find ourselves drawn to someone we know is off-limits.

Dating a married man might sound exciting, but it’s rarely a good idea. In fact, there are some pretty compelling reasons you’re better off looking elsewhere.

One of the biggest reasons why you shouldn’t date a married man is because this type of relationship often ends badly.

Mistresses usually get tired of waiting for the man to leave his wife, and wives often find out about the affair eventually which means you’ll most likely end up hurt and alone.

Take it from someone who learned the hard way—this is a road that only leads to heartache.

Let’s talk about why you’re better off steering clear of romantic entanglements with married men.

reasons why you shouldn't date a married man


Dating a married man can lead to several complicated and potentially harmful situations. Here are some reasons why you shouldn’t date a married man:

1. It’s morally wrong to date a married man

Dating a married man is unethical. His commitment is to his wife and family, not you.

No matter what he says, he’ll never leave his wife for you and you’ll always come second.

Do you really want to be someone’s backup plan or secret? You’re better than that and you deserve so much more.

Married men often lie and make empty promises. He’ll tell you he’s going to leave his wife and that you’re the only one for him.

Meanwhile, he’s just stringing you along to keep you available. His sweet words are meaningless.

You’ll end up feeling used and alone. The secrecy and sneaking around will become exhausting.

You’ll also miss out on real relationships and the chance to find someone who can commit to you fully.

Save yourself the heartache and find an available man who will treat you with respect.

You’re worth more than being hidden in the shadows as someone’s mistress.

Focus on improving yourself rather than wasting time on a man who will never be yours.

reasons why you shouldn't date a married man

2. You’ll always come second to his wife and family

One of the major reasons why you shouldn’t date a married man is that you’ll never be his top priority.

His wife and kids will always come first, and you’ll constantly have to schedule your time around them.

Your married lover will likely never invite you to family vacations, holidays, or events.

And you’ll be left making excuses to your friends and family about why you can’t make it to gatherings.

Not to mention, he has a whole other life with his spouse that you’ll never be a part of.

After a romantic evening together, he’ll go home to her, and you’re left alone.

You deserve so much more than being someone’s second choice or secret mistress.

A healthy relationship is based on mutual trust and respect, not secrecy or lies.

Do you really want to be with someone who is deceiving the person they pledged to honor and cherish?

Think about how that reflects on their character and how they might treat you down the road.

You should be with someone who is physically and emotionally available to give you the love and attention you need.

Don’t settle for being hidden in the shadows while someone else gets the best of them.

3. You can’t rely on him for commitment

The harsh truth is that you can’t expect a married man to commit to you.

Why would he end his marriage to be with you if he’s already getting what he wants?

He’ll never make you his priority and he’ll often be unavailable to share holidays, go on vacations, or do normal couple activities with you.

Chances are, he’s telling you sweet lies to keep stringing you along for as long as you’ll accept the crumbs he’s offering.

He has no intention of leaving his wife and sacrificing the life they’ve built together.

Don’t waste years of your life hoping a married man will change because he won’t.

While it might seem exciting and adventurous in the beginning, dating a married man often ends in heartbreak and regret.

You have so much to offer in a healthy, committed relationship where you’re able to share life fully with your partner.

A married man is simply unavailable to do that, no matter what he says.

If you’re already dating a married man, move on before you become even more attached and the pain becomes unbearable.

You know deep down that this relationship can’t work out well in the end.

Have the courage to choose yourself, your needs, and your happiness.

The right man for you is out there, one without a ring on his finger who will make you his everything.

reasons why you shouldn't date a married man

4. You’re setting yourself up for heartbreak

Dating a married man is setting yourself up for almost certain heartbreak.

He’s shown he has trouble committing to one partner, so why would you be any different?

Chances are, he’s not planning to leave his wife for you, no matter what he says.

You’ll end up hurt and betrayed when he doesn’t follow through on empty promises.

Save yourself the pain and anguish. Don’t fall for sweet nothings and lavish gifts. His affection and attention feel amazing now, but it’s not real.

It’s a fantasy. The reality is he’s going home to his wife, and you’re left with a broken heart.

You’re worth more than crumbs of someone else’s time and affection.

Don’t settle for being the other woman. It will damage your self-esteem and confidence in the long run.

This type of relationship also often comes with feelings of guilt, shame, and low self-worth. You have to sneak around and lie to keep the affair going.

It creates inner turmoil and conflict that just isn’t worth it for a romance that is doomed to fail.

Spare yourself the agony. Don’t date a married man. Find an available, single partner who will love and cherish you.

5. Dating a married man rarely ends well for the mistress

Married men can’t give you the time, commitment, honesty, or future you want and deserve.

As the other woman, you’re setting yourself up for hurt and disappointment in the future.

His wife and family will rightfully always come first. You’ll constantly feel like the third wheel and the secret he’s hiding.

Chances are, he’s not going to abandon his wife for you because he gets to have his cake and eat it too. He has a stable home life and gets extra on the side.

Meanwhile, you’re left waiting and hoping for the day he finally makes you a priority. Spoiler alert: that day will probably never come.

Even if he does leave, do you really want a man who is willing to betray his vows and hurt his family?

A leopard doesn’t change its spots, and a cheater will likely cheat again.

He made a promise to commit to someone else and didn’t keep it, so how can you trust him?

If you date a married man, you’ll always wonder if he’s being faithful to you and you’ll have a hard time trusting him fully.

The sad truth is that if he’ll cheat with you, he’ll cheat on you.

Save yourself the heartache and steer clear of married men. Find an available man who can give you his whole heart.

6. You may feel guilty for being the other woman

As the other woman, you may frequently struggle with feelings of guilt.

You’re aware that you’re involved with someone else’s husband, and that can weigh heavily on your conscience.

You may feel guilty for being part of deceiving and betraying another woman.

His wife likely has no idea her husband is cheating, and you’re helping keep that secret.

If the affair comes to light, it could be devastating for his wife and children. Their lives and family dynamics may never be the same.

You will likely feel guilty for potentially destroying a family or marriage. The guilt and inner turmoil can take an immense emotional toll over time.

While the thrill of a forbidden and secretive relationship seems appealing at first, the costs to your well-being and self-esteem are high.

reasons why you shouldn't date a married man

7. You could wreck someone’s home

Dating a married man often leads to hurt and heartbreak, not just for you but also for others. His spouse and children are also affected by his selfish actions.

By engaging in a relationship with someone else’s husband, you’re enabling his hurtful behavior and becoming an accomplice to wrecking their home and family.

Do you want to be part of damaging a marriage and causing pain for innocent people?

His wife and kids don’t deserve to have their lives turned upside down because of poor decisions made by others.

Every person deserves to be in a healthy, committed relationship where they feel loved and secure.

By dating a married man, you’re depriving his family of that and taking part in destroying their foundation of trust and stability.

Think about how you would feel if the tables were turned and you were in their position. The pain, betrayal and damage to your family would be devastating.

Even if you feel strongly for this man, pursue a relationship with someone unattached who can commit to you fully without hurting others in the process.

A healthy romantic relationship is built on a solid foundation of trust and commitment, not deceit and selfishness. Don’t be part of wrecking someone else’s home! 

8. The affair could negatively affect your relationship with others

When you date a married man, it can damage your relationships with friends and family. They may judge you for your choices and see you in a negative light.

Your friends and family want the best for you. They know you deserve so much more than being “the other woman”.

They may pull away from you or express their disappointment in your actions. Is a secret affair worth risking your close relationships over?

Even if you think you can keep it a secret, affairs have a way of coming to light.

When others discover the truth, it can permanently change the way they view you. Their trust and respect may be lost forever.

Your reputation could also suffer. Being involved with someone else’s spouse is generally frowned upon. Others may label you as selfish, immoral, or a homewrecker.

Rather than sneaking around and damaging other people’s relationships, find an available single man who can give you his whole heart openly and honestly.

reasons why you shouldn't date a married man

9. It will delay you from finding your ideal partner

Dating a married man means you’re settling for less than you deserve.

Why waste your time on someone who can’t give you their whole heart when the right person for you is still out there?

Every moment you spend with him is time you could be using to find a good partner who can give you a stable, long-term relationship.

While it may seem difficult to walk away from someone you care about, in the long run, you’ll be glad you opened yourself up to find a more suitable match.

The longer you stay in this unhealthy relationship, the more opportunities you miss to meet your ideal mate.

Your time is precious, so don’t squander it on a married man who can only offer you stolen moments and broken promises.

Have faith that there are good, honest single men out there, and open yourself to finding them.

The sooner you move on, the sooner you’ll find the right one for you. Choose yourself and your long-term happiness.


Dating a married man is a risky business that will likely end in heartbreak and pain.

You deserve someone who can commit to you fully, not a guy who goes home to his wife every night.

Take some time to reflect on what you really want in a romantic relationship.

If you’re longing for real intimacy and partnership, look for an available man who shares your values.

Though the temptation may be exciting, don’t let yourself get drawn into a messy affair.

You’re worth so much more than stolen moments with someone else’s husband.

Choose to keep your integrity and wait for a love that doesn’t require hiding, sneaking around, or compromising your self-respect.

It’s generally healthier and more rewarding to seek out relationships with those who are available and can fully commit to a partnership with you.

Focus on finding an available, honest man who will put you first and commit to you.

Dating a married man will only lead to heartbreak, drama, and regret. Save yourself the trouble—you deserve so much better!


Recommended reading:

Top 8 Reasons Why Older Men Like Younger Women

The Pros And Cons Of Marrying An Older Man

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi
 | Blog

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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