9 Signs You’re The Other Woman In His Life

signs you're the other woman in his life

Does the thought ever cross your mind that you’re not the only woman in your man’s life? Maybe he’s always so secretive and can’t seem to commit to a serious relationship.

He cancels plans at the last minute, is vague about his whereabouts, and you have never met his friends or family.

His sneaky behavior makes you wonder if you’re the other woman and he’s seeing someone else behind your back.

How can you tell if you’re the side piece?

If he’s secretive about your relationship, contacts you at odd hours, or never invites you over to his place, these can be indicators that there might be someone else in his life.

Read on to discover the clues to look out for so you can stop being in the dark and figure out if you’re the other woman.

The truth may hurt, but not knowing where you stand will hurt even more in the long run. It’s time to face the facts and open your eyes to the signs you’re trying so hard to ignore.

If you suspect that something is off and you can’t shake the feeling, you may be the other woman in his life.

signs you're the other woman in his life


No woman wants to share her man with anyone and it’s heartbreaking to find out that you’re the side chick but it’s better you know the truth so you can stop being used and get the love you truly deserve.

Here are some warning signs you’re the other woman in his life:

1. He’s secretive about your relationship

One of the biggest signs you’re the other woman in a man’s life is that he hides your relationship from the public eye.

For example, he’ll act weird about you coming over when his roommates are home. Or he won’t even invite you over to his place at all.

He’ll also avoid public displays of affection like holding hands, quick kisses, and hugs. If your man is hiding you from other people, chances are you’re not the only one.

He’s acting shady in public because he’s afraid his real girlfriend will spot you two together.

While privacy is important in a relationship, a man who is dating only one woman won’t hide her or be ashamed of going out with her. Instead, he will be proud to be seen with her and will introduce her to his loved ones.

So if something feels off about the way your man acts or the weird excuses he gives, don’t ignore the signs. You deserve so much better than being someone’s dirty little secret.

Have a frank conversation with him about your concerns and if he still doesn’t change, consider walking away from the relationship.

2. He never introduces you to friends or family

Another sign you’re a man’s side piece is that you’ve never met his family or friends, even after dating for months. He always has an excuse for why now isn’t a good time.

He also avoids inviting you to work events or parties where you might run into friends or coworkers. When he does invite you, he acts distant and avoids any public show of affection.

A man who is serious about you will want you to meet the most important people in his life. So if he’s dodgy about introducing you to his friends and family, chances are you’re the other woman.

signs you're the other woman in his life

3. He only contacts you at odd hours

A clear sign you’re the other woman in a man’s life is that he only calls or texts you late at night.

Men who are genuinely interested in a woman will contact her during normal hours of the day as well, not just after 9 p.m.

If your communication is sporadic and inconsistent, it could be a sign that he’s dividing his time with someone else. He’s probably only free to chat when his girlfriend or wife isn’t around.

Here are other telltale signs you’re the side chick:

He never takes you out on real dates. Your meetups always happen late at night at his place or yours.

He avoids being seen with you in public. If he’s worried about running into people he knows, it’s a big red flag.

His social media profiles are devoid of mentions or photos of you as a couple. If he’s hiding your relationship, there’s someone else in the picture.

You only see each other when he feels like it and on his schedule. If he was really serious about you, he’d make real plans in advance and value your time.

He frequently cancels plans with vague excuses. His shady behavior shows a lack of respect for your time and feelings.

You deserve so much better than being someone’s after-hours amusement. Have an honest conversation with him about where you stand and what you expect in a romantic relationship.

If he’s not willing to commit to you fully, cut your losses and move on. You’re worth being someone’s priority, not their plaything.

4. Dates always happen at his place or in private

If your new romantic interest never takes you out for dinner or on a real date where you might run into people he knows, that may be a sign you’re the other woman.

Does he always suggest staying in, “cooking” at your place, or going to hotels? That’s a huge red flag. Most people in committed relationships go out together and aren’t afraid of being seen in public.

Men who cheat usually want to avoid being spotted with another woman, so dates in private are ideal.

He’ll claim that he’s too tired after work to go out, wants a quiet night at home, or suggest a secret getaway to a secluded cabin for the weekend. Anything to avoid bumping into friends, coworkers, or his actual partner.

Pay attention if he’s jumpy or paranoid when you are out together. He may frequently check to see who’s around, not introduce you to people he knows, or quickly usher you away if you run into someone unexpectedly.

His shady behavior shows he’s hiding something or someone. Don’t ignore these warnings just because you have strong feelings for him.

5. You have no idea what’s going on in his life

A big sign you’re the other woman is that he hides his personal life from you. If you have to ask your man what he’s up to or who he’s with, that’s not a good sign.

Chances are, he’s intentionally keeping you in the dark about his whereabouts and activities. He doesn’t want you to connect the dots and figure out the truth.

When a guy is seriously dating someone, he’ll usually share details of his life openly and voluntarily. She’ll know about his friends, job, hobbies, and daily routine.

If you have no clue what fills his time, you’re probably just a convenient companion when his real girlfriend isn’t around.

Does he frequently cancel plans at the last minute or not show up at all? Does he blame work or other lame excuses but the stories don’t quite add up?

These secretive behaviors and sketchy justifications are common signs you’re the other woman. Rather than coming clean, he finds it easier to lie and mislead you to avoid confrontation.

The hard truth is, if he’s serious about you, you wouldn’t be left in the dark. You deserve so much more than crumbs of his time and affection.

Don’t waste years of your life on a man who can’t give you his whole heart. You’re worth the truth and a real, honest relationship. If he can’t offer that, it’s time to move on to someone who will.

signs you're the other woman in his life

6. He’s unavailable on weekends or holidays

Is your man always too busy to spend holidays or weekends together?

If he’s never available for important dates or consistently has excuses for why he can’t spend his downtime with you, it may be a sign you’re the “other woman” in his life.

Men in committed relationships will generally want to spend weekends and holidays with their significant other.

If he’s frequently telling you he has to work, has plans with friends, or has family obligations during those times, it could indicate he’s spending them with someone else—possibly his actual girlfriend or wife. No one is that busy all the time.

Of course, some jobs do require weekend or holiday shifts on occasion. But if it’s a recurring issue and he never makes time for you when he’s off, it’s probably not a good sign.

Being consistently unavailable during special occasions could suggest that he’s spending time with a primary partner.

Don’t make excuses for his behavior or convince yourself you’re overreacting. Trust your instincts.

A man who is fully committed to you will want to spend his free time with you and include you in important life events. Don’t allow yourself to be fooled!

7. He avoids being seen in public with you

Does the guy you’re dating seem reluctant to go out in public with you? It could be a sign you’re his “other woman”.

Rather than taking you out for dinner, to the movies, or on fun dates around town where you might run into people he knows, he prefers staying in.

His excuse may be that he’s “not into the whole public display of affection thing”, but really he’s avoiding being spotted with you.

If your meetings are always in private or secluded places, it’s obvious he doesn’t want to risk being seen by someone he knows.

Sure, he could be an introvert who doesn’t like much attention but that doesn’t mean he can’t show you affection when you’re out together.

Here are other reasons for his evasiveness:

He’s already in a committed relationship and doesn’t want his partner or friends to discover he’s cheating.

He’s worried he’ll run into co-workers or business contacts and have to explain who you are.

He’s concerned that friends or family may see the two of you together and start asking questions about the relationship.

He’s not actually that into you and just wants to keep things casual without any real commitment.

If any of this sounds familiar, chances are you’re the other woman. Confront your guy about his behavior and if he’s unable to give you a reasonable explanation or make a change, move on.

You’re worth being shown off, not hidden away like a dirty little secret. Every woman deserves a man who will proudly walk hand in hand with her, not one who pretends she doesn’t exist the moment they step outside.

signs you're the other woman in his life

8. He’s hesitant to commit to something serious

Being reluctant to make future plans or commit to a serious relationship could be a sign that he’s already committed to someone else. Watch out if:

He avoids serious discussions about commitment or the future. Every time you try to have a heart-to-heart about where the relationship is headed, he changes the subject or makes excuses.

He says he’s not ready for anything serious yet and wants to see where things go. But it’s been months and he still won’t define the relationship or discuss long-term plans.

He avoids talking about meeting each other’s friends and family or doing anything that requires real commitment. If you do socialize together, he introduces you as his “friend.”

He refuses to make concrete plans more than a few days or weeks in advance. If you want to book tickets to a show a couple months away, he’ll insist it’s “too soon” to plan that far ahead.

He is hesitant to leave belongings at your place or have you leave things at his in case he needs to make a quick getaway. The relationship feels very shallow.

If these behaviors sound familiar, it may be a sign you’re the “other woman” in his life. Don’t let yourself be strung along in a casual relationship that is going nowhere. 

Have an honest conversation about what you both want and if he’s still not willing to commit, you have your answer. Set yourself free to find someone who will proudly call you his girlfriend.

9. You don’t have an online presence together

Another sign you’re the side piece is that you never post about each other on social media.

If he rarely posts about you or your relationship on platforms like Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat, he may be trying to hide your relationship from someone else.

Most people in healthy relationships will share some details, photos, or life events involving their partner on social media.

If he refuses to connect or tag you in any posts or gets upset if you post about him, it’s likely because he doesn’t want others to know about your relationship.

Pay attention to these signs that point to you potentially being the other woman in his life.

Have an open and honest conversation with him about the status of your relationship and what you both want. You deserve to be in a healthy relationship where you’re a priority, not a secret.


It can be difficult and emotionally challenging to suspect that you might be the ‘other woman’ in a relationship.

However, if you know the signs to watch out for you’ll be able to tell if you’re the side piece in a man’s life.

When you discover that you’re a man’s second option, it’s important to have a straightforward conversation about your concerns.

Express your feelings and ask for clarity about the status and direction of your relationship. It’s crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and ensure you’re in a relationship that respects and values your presence.

You deserve so much better than being someone’s secret, so trust your instincts if something feels off. Don’t make excuses for shady behavior or broken promises. Confront him if needed, and be willing to walk away.

You’re worth being someone’s one and only, don’t settle for less than you deserve. The right man will proudly show you off to the world without hesitation!


Recommended reading:

How To Tell If He Has Another Girlfriend

10 Clear Signs He Only Wants You For Your Body

10 Clear Signs He Doesn’t Want To Lose You

About The Author

Jennifer Dagi
 | Blog

Jennifer Dagi is happily married to her best friend and the love of her life.

As a relationship coach, she is passionate about helping couples build healthy and happy relationships.

She strongly believes communication and intimacy are the most important ingredients for building a successful relationship.

Join her on a fabulous journey to improve your love life one step at a time and don't forget to subscribe for weekly blog updates.

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