Disagreements and conflicts are a natural part of any relationship.
However, how we handle these conflicts can greatly impact the health and longevity of our partnerships.
Many couples give each other the silent treatment and turn to other people for comfort after a fight, but that’s not the right approach.
When you’re in a committed relationship, it’s crucial to always use compassion and understanding during difficult situations.
How you act after an argument can either bring you closer together or drive an even bigger wedge between you.
The good news is, you have the power to positively impact the connection you have with your significant other.
In this blog post, we’ll explore a list of things to never do after a fight with your partner, as they can hinder the healing process and further strain your relationship.
By avoiding these pitfalls, you can create space for growth and emotional connection with your partner.
9 THINGS TO NEVER DO AFTER A FIGHT WITH YOUR PARTNER
It’s tempting to storm out in anger and put up walls after a fight with your significant other.
However, engaging in toxic behaviors like stonewalling and malice can push you both farther apart.
The goal of every argument is to understand each other better and become closer than ever.
If you’re in a serious relationship, here are 9 things you should never do after a fight with your partner as it can destroy the bond you have.
#1 Don’t escalate the argument
After a heated fight, tensions are running high and emotions are amplified. But continuing the argument will only make things worse.
Walk away instead and do something to clear your head like going for a jog or doing some light exercise.
Come back to the discussion when you’ve both cooled off and can talk rationally without accusations flying.
Staying calm and composed is key to resolving a conflict in a healthy relationship.
Yelling, insulting, or threatening your partner will severely damage your connection and trust.
Once you’ve diffused the initial anger, have an open and honest conversation about the real issues.
Use “I” statements when you speak, listen to understand their perspective, and work as a team to find practical solutions.
With patience and effort, you can get past any disagreement and use it as an opportunity to build an even stronger bond with your partner.
Remember to apologize for any hurtful words, give them space if they need it, and express your desire to move forward positively.
Every relationship has ups and downs, but choosing to handle conflicts healthily and constructively can make all the difference.
Once a fight has occurred, it’s vital to resist the temptation to continue escalating the argument.
Engaging in a cycle of blame, criticism, or personal attacks can deepen wounds and make it harder to find a resolution.
Instead, take a step back, breathe, and allow for a cooling-off period before attempting to communicate constructively.
#2 Avoid the silent treatment
The silent treatment is never the answer after an argument with your significant other.
Avoiding communication will only make things worse! Instead, talk it out as soon as you’ve both cooled off.
Say something like: “I don’t want us to stay mad at each other. Can we please talk?” Your partner will appreciate your willingness to work through the issue together.
Once you’re chatting again, speak kindly and focus on listening to understand their perspective.
Compromise when you can and work to address the root cause of your disagreement to prevent future fights.
Laughter is the best medicine, so try to bring some lightheartedness back into the conversation.
Crack a joke, flash a silly smile, give a quick hug. Positivity and affection can go a long way toward reconciliation.
The silent treatment may seem like a way to regain control or punish your partner, but it’s a harmful behavior that erodes trust and communication.
Shutting down and refusing to engage in conversation prevents the opportunity for a healthy resolution.
Instead, express your need for space if necessary, but make it clear that you are open to discussing the issue when you’re both ready.
Fighting happens, but the resolution is what matters. The secret to reconnecting with your partner is to make up quickly and resolve your issues amicably.
#3 Don’t ignore or dismiss your partner’s feelings
After an argument, it’s easy to withdraw and brush off your partner’s concerns, but this will only make the situation worse.
Their feelings matter, so make an effort to listen and be empathetic. Say something like: “I can see why you felt that way. Let’s talk through it so I can understand better.”
Showing care will help diffuse the tension and get your relationship back on track.
Your partner may have overreacted in the heat of the moment, but there was probably an underlying reason for their frustration.
Get to the root cause so you can gain their perspective and find a compromise.
Listening with an open mind and validating their experience can turn a fight into an opportunity to build intimacy.
However, invalidating or dismissing your partner’s feelings after a fight can cause further emotional distance.
It’s essential to acknowledge and respect their emotions, even if you don’t fully agree with their perspective.
By actively listening and showing empathy, you create a safe space for open dialogue and understanding.
Staying engaged and addressing issues together is the only way to move forward in a healthy relationship. Make it a priority to reconnect, even if you need some space at first.
A quick text to say “I care about you and want us to work through this” can make all the difference.
Focus on reconciliation, not accusation. Your relationship is far more important than any single argument.
Choose to move on from petty differences and nurture your connection.
With work and commitment to compromise, you’ll get past this rough patch stronger than before.
#4 Don’t keep a grudge or hold onto resentment
Carrying grudges and harboring resentment can poison a relationship over time.
While it’s natural to feel hurt or angry after a fight, holding onto these negative emotions only prolongs the healing process.
Instead, strive to forgive your partner for whatever was said in the heat of the moment and let go of past grievances.
Approach them with empathy, understanding that hurtful words often come from a place of pain, not truth.
Put yourself in their shoes and try to see the situation from their perspective. This can help dissipate anger and cultivate compassion.
Choose to move on from the disagreement with an open and willing heart. Let go of the desire to be “right” or prove a point.
What matters most is the love you share, not who won the fight. Focus on the present and future instead of the past.
Dwelling on the argument will only make the negative emotions intensify.
If you struggle to move on, do small things each day to actively shift your mindset into a positive space.
Listen to upbeat music, watch a funny show, cook a nice meal together—whatever lifts your spirits and brings you joy.
With time and effort, the hurt will fade, and you’ll feel close again.
But you must make the choice to forgive and forget, or risk resentment building a wall between you.
Approach your partner with a smile, hug them, say “I love you”—and truly mean it.
Choose to leave the fight behind and recapture the warmth you felt before. Your relationship will be much happier if you do!
#5 Avoid telling other people your issues
Whatever you do, don’t go venting to your friends and family after a fight with your partner!
Avoid telling another person your relationship problems unless abuse is involved.
While it can feel good in the moment to get your frustrations off your chest, it often makes the situation much worse.
Here’s how talking about your problems with other people can impact your romantic relationship:
• Your friends and family will likely take your side, even if you were in the wrong, straining your partner’s relationship with them.
• It can damage your partner’s reputation and self-esteem by airing your dirty laundry.
• It prevents you from resolving issues privately as a couple.
The healthiest relationships are built on open communication between partners, not involving outside opinions.
Rather than rehashing the details of your argument, call a truce and have an open and honest conversation with your partner.
Apologize for any hurt caused, listen to their perspective with an open mind, take responsibility for your mistakes, and work as a team to find solutions.
Make a pact to argue fairly and avoid below-the-belt personal attacks. Focus on using “I feel” statements, really listening to understand their view, not just to reply.
With time and effort, you can get past your differences and fix your relationship.
So learn to keep intimate details between the two of you, and others out of your private affairs.
#6 Don’t avoid responsibility and refuse to apologize
While it can feel good in the moment to get your frustrations off your chest, it often makes the situation much worse.
After a heated argument, it’s normal to feel frustrated or upset.
But avoiding responsibility for your role in the fight will worsen the situation and make it harder for you to reconcile with your partner.
Saying “I’m sorry for how I acted” can go a long way toward healing hurt feelings and rebuilding trust.
When emotions have cooled off, sit down face-to-face with your partner. Make eye contact, speak kindly, and listen with an open mind.
Admit your mistakes sincerely without making excuses. Apologize for any hurtful words and take ownership of how your actions contributed to the conflict.
Make it clear you want to work through the issue together.
Taking responsibility for your actions and acknowledging your part in the conflict is essential for rebuilding trust and repairing the relationship.
Refusing to apologize or shifting blame only perpetuates a cycle of defensiveness and resentment.
Instead, reflect on your behavior, offer a sincere apology for any hurt caused, and express your commitment to positive change.
Be willing to accept your partner’s apology in return and commit to communicating better going forward.
No one is perfect, so expecting your partner to be can lead to frequent arguments.
Learn from your disagreements instead of assigning blame, and focus on strengthening your emotional connection.
Make up with a hug, hold hands, laugh together – do whatever helps you both feel fully reconciled.
Staying angry and distant will only make you both miserable. Take responsibility, say you’re sorry, and get back to enjoying each other’s company.
#7 Don’t seek revenge for your pain
Fighting with your partner hurts, but constantly replaying the fight in your mind will exacerbate the pain and damage your relationship further.
Instead of going over the details of your argument, shift your focus to the good in your relationship and the qualities you appreciate in your partner.
Think of happy memories you’ve shared and the reasons why you care for each other.
This positive mindset will help you move past the disagreement and see the bigger picture.
#8 Don’t make major life decisions
In the heat of an argument, your emotions can get the best of you and make you act out of place.
You may feel compelled to make a rash choice just to gain some control or get back at your partner. But resist that urge!
Making big life decisions when you’re upset will likely end in regret. Stay calm and avoid reacting impulsively.
Don’t immediately move out, break up, quit your job, or do anything else irreversible.
Take a short break to relax and reflect. Talk to others you trust to get another perspective.
Once you’ve cooled down, discuss the situation rationally with your partner to determine the best path forward.
You’ll make much better choices if you’re thinking clearly and communicating openly.
Rash decisions often seem like a quick fix but can create bigger problems down the road.
Compromise and understanding are so important in a relationship. Don’t do anything to damage that, especially not in the heat of the moment.
Stay patient and remember why you’re together. With time and effort, you can work through challenges in a healthy way.
#9 Never bring up the past
After an argument, resist the urge to bring up old issues that you’ve fought over before.
Doing so will make the current disagreement feel larger than it really is and damage the progress you’ve made since then. The past is in the past, so focus on the present moment.
Bringing up old fights will only sour the mood further and distract you from addressing the actual current problem.
Your partner will likely feel attacked, and the conversation will turn into a competition over who was “more right” back then.
This approach is not constructive and will not lead to a resolution.
Stay focused on the current issue at hand instead of past hurts. Address one disagreement at a time and let go of old arguments.
Continually bringing them up erodes trust and stirs up old emotions. Try to compromise when you can.
Be willing to listen with an open mind and understand your partner’s perspective. Then, work together toward a solution you’re both satisfied with.
After a disagreement, take a step back and remember why you chose to be with this person.
Focus on listening, understanding, and communicating to strengthen your connection rather than attacking one another over past grievances.
Make the choice to move on from the fight and into a happier, healthier relationship.
HOW TO RECONNECT WITH YOUR PARTNER AFTER A FIGHT
Reconnecting with a significant other after a big fight can be challenging but it’s possible. Here are a few tips to help you reconnect with your partner:
1. Communicate openly and honestly:
Engage in a calm and respectful conversation, allowing each other to express thoughts and feelings without interruption. Practice active listening and seek to understand each other’s perspectives.
2. Practice empathy and understanding:
Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to see the situation from their point of view. Validate their feelings and show empathy, even if you disagree.
3. Apologize if you’re wrong:
Taking responsibility for your actions and apologizing sincerely after a fight can help make reconciliation easier. Admit your mistakes, say “I’m sorry,” and be willing to change your behavior.
4. Seek compromise and find common ground:
Focus on finding solutions that work for both of you. Look for areas of compromise and explore ways to meet each other’s needs.
5. Learn from the experience:
Use the conflict as an opportunity for growth and self-reflection. Identify patterns or triggers that contribute to conflicts and work on developing healthier communication and conflict-resolution skills.
6. Consider professional help if needed:
If you find yourselves repeatedly getting stuck in destructive patterns or unable to resolve conflicts, seeking the guidance of a couples therapist or relationship counselor can provide valuable support.
Conclusion
Every couple argues, but the strong ones work to resolve conflicts healthily.
How we navigate the aftermath of a fight greatly influences the health and strength of our relationships.
By avoiding toxic behaviors and fostering open communication and empathy, you can rebuild trust, deepen understanding, and strengthen your bond with your partner.
If you lose your cool during a fight and say words you regret, don’t despair – your relationship isn’t doomed and the argument doesn’t have to define you.
The best thing you can do after a fight is to take a break before trying to resolve your issues.
Do some deep breathing, go for a walk, or listen to calming music to calm your nerves and put you in a better mood.
After a disagreement, the desire to be “right” often clouds our judgment.
It’s important to take a look at the role you played in the conflict instead of blaming your significant other for everything that happened.
Try to also reflect on the good in your relationship and the qualities you admire in your partner.
Once you’ve calmed down, have an open and honest conversation where you listen to understand rather than attack.
Apologize for your part and forgive them for theirs. Compromise where you can and commit to better communication going forward.
Remember, conflict can be an opportunity for growth and deeper connection if approached with love, respect, and a willingness to learn and change.
Choose to move on from your disagreement and reconnect on a deeper level. Your relationship will be better and stronger as a result.
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