There are moments when a woman doesn’t want to be penetrated and wants to be left alone to enjoy her quiet time.
And when she’s in that “Do not disturb” mood and her partner comes along asking for sex, she has no choice but to make up some clever excuses.
Of course, sometimes she isn’t ready to make love and needs a break. Maybe she’s exhausted after a long day or isn’t feeling too well.
Or perhaps she just doesn’t want to get intimate at that particular time. Whatever the reason, sometimes a girl needs a quick escape plan.
Here’s a list of things women say to avoid having sex with a man and how to get her in the mood when she turns you down.
1. “I have a headache”
You’ve probably heard this one before. It’s a go-to for many women when they’re not in the mood.
But let’s be real, sometimes a headache is just a headache. Other times, it’s code for “I’m not feeling it tonight.”
When your woman says this, don’t push it. Instead, offer a gentle massage or some pain relief. Your thoughtfulness and care could turn things around.
And if not, remember that respecting her boundaries is crucial for building a healthy relationship. Don’t try to force her into sleeping with you.
There’s always tomorrow, and showing understanding now could lead to more intimate moments later.
2. “I’m too tired tonight”
Life can get really busy most days and for women who are working or looking after young children, sex is often the last thing on their mind when they finally get into bed at night.
Whether it’s a long day at work, a grueling workout session, or just life in general, sometimes a woman is just too tired to get intimate.
When she says “No”, respect her boundaries and understand that rest is important too.
It’s totally normal to feel exhausted and want nothing more than to curl up in bed and get a good night’s rest.
If you notice your significant other is tired and doesn’t want to make love, try to be understanding and figure out a way to help her with some errands or chores.
When she has fewer things to do every day, she’ll have more time and energy to attend to your intimate needs.
3. “I’m not in the mood, honey”
Women often say this when they are not interested in lovemaking.
Maybe they’re not feeling the chemistry, or just not in the headspace for intimacy.
Whatever the reason, it’s okay for a woman to not be in the mood for sex once in a while.
But if your woman uses this a lot, it may be a sign she has a low libido and needs more emotional connection or foreplay to get in the zone.
Find out what she likes and try to do it often. For instance, you can buy her something special, take her out on a date, or even cook dinner at home so she is less stressed.
Women love to be wooed and pampered throughout the day, not just when you want to ask for sex.
If you want her to be open to making love to you, connect with her on a deeper level, and don’t forget to spoil her regularly.
Send her romantic text messages during the day, prepare a warm bubble bath for her in the evening, or get her a box of chocolate with some beautiful flowers.
When you’re romantic and loving to a woman, she’ll want to reciprocate the gesture and that can mean more intimate encounters in the bedroom.
4. “I’m on my period”
Ah, the classic “time of the month” excuse. While it’s a legitimate reason for some women, others might use it as a convenient way to sidestep intimacy.
Your partner might not be okay with having period sex and may prefer to wait it out. It’s all about personal comfort levels and beliefs.
The next time you hear this excuse, remember it could be genuine or just a polite way of saying “Not tonight, honey.”
Remember to respect her boundaries and don’t try to force things. Instead, show care and ask if there’s anything you can do to ease her discomfort.
5. “I’m not on the pill”
When a woman says she’s not on birth control, she’s basically hitting the pause button on any romantic plans you had in mind.
But here’s the thing — it’s not just about avoiding pregnancy. Maybe she’s not comfortable with the idea of unprotected sex, or she’s worried about STIs.
It could also be her way of saying she’s not ready for that level of intimacy yet. Whatever the case, it’s important to respect her decision and not pressure her.
Remember, consent is key, and there are plenty of other fun ways to be intimate without risking an unplanned pregnancy.
6. “I have to wake up early tomorrow”
You may have heard this excuse before. Many women use this phrase when they have something important to do the next day and need to rest.
Maybe she’s got a big presentation at work or an important meeting she can’t be late for.
Or perhaps she’s just feeling exhausted and needs her beauty sleep.
Whether you think her excuse is valid or not, it’s important to respect your woman’s decision and not push the issue.
You can always have sex some other time when it’s convenient for both of you.
7. “I need to wash my hair”
Okay, this is a funny excuse some women use to avoid having sex and it’s so obvious.
How often does someone need to wash their hair at the exact moment their partner is trying to get intimate with them?
This excuse is so overused it’s become a bit of a joke. It’s the perfect blend of personal hygiene and mild inconvenience.
Plus, it’s vague enough that it could take anywhere from 20 minutes to… well, all night.
So next time you hear this line, just know that you’re not getting any action under the sheets. You might as well go wash your car or watch a TV show.
8. “The kids are still awake”
Kids are another classic excuse women use to avoid intimacy and it works every single time.
Just when you get into bed after wrestling with the kids all night and hope to finally get some action, your partner suddenly reminds you of your little warriors.
“The kids are still awake,” she whispers, and just like that, the mood deflates faster than a punctured balloon.
You can’t blame her though! It’s not just about avoiding noise—it’s the fear of scarring your children for life if they decide to barge in for a glass of water.
Plus, let’s face it, nothing spoils the mood quite like hearing “Mom, I can’t sleep!” through the wall.
So, you’re left with two options: wait until the little ones are in dreamland (which could be at midnight when you’re too exhausted and sleepy to do anything), or get creative with your timing and location.
9. “My parents are next door”
Have you ever invited your in-laws over for the weekend and then tried to get intimate but your partner blatantly refused?
You’ve set the mood, things are heating up, and then suddenly she drops the bombshell: “My parents are next door.” It’s the perfect phrase to turn you off!
This classic excuse plays on the fear of getting caught in the act, which instantly puts out any passionate flames.
Whether her folks are nearby or not, this line taps into that primal anxiety of parental disapproval.
It’s hard to be sexually aroused when you’re imagining your partner’s dad knocking at the door at any moment.
Even if you’re both adults, something about parents and sex just doesn’t mix.
Next time she uses this excuse to dodge intimacy, maybe suggest a change of venue.
A hotel room could just be the best place to get some privacy and peace of mind.
10. “I need to shave”
This is the classic grooming excuse that buys some time and provides the perfect escape route.
Whether she’s concerned about shaving her legs or pubic hair, most women use this phrase when they don’t feel clean or sexy enough to get intimate.
But let’s be real — most guys couldn’t care less about a little extra fuzz down there.
This line plays on insecurities about body hair while creating a convenient reason to postpone lovemaking.
Unless it’s really hairy down there, and you like your woman to be smooth everywhere, let her know you don’t mind a little hair and that you’re attracted to her anyway.
Open communication can help diffuse tension in the bedroom and encourage couple bonding.
HOW TO PUT HER IN THE MOOD FOR SEX
If your woman keeps coming up with a lot of excuses not to make love each time you try to initiate, you may need to find ways to make her more receptive to your advances.
Maybe she’s stressed from work, battling a personal problem, or just isn’t feeling it.
Instead of getting angry and trying to force her to sleep with you, see if there’s anything you can do.
Creating the right atmosphere is the first step to getting her in the mood.
Start by setting the scene: dim the lights, put on some soft music, and light a few scented candles. Make sure the bedroom is tidy and inviting.
Next, focus on building emotional intimacy. Ask about her day and listen while she talks. Give her your full attention and stay present.
A little romance can enhance the mood too—compliment her sincerely and surprise her with a thoughtful gesture or gift.
Physical touch is also important. Start with gentle, non-sexual touches like a shoulder massage. Kiss her neck softly and slowly build up passion.
Most importantly, don’t rush! Take your time and let the anticipation build naturally.
Conclusion
I’ve given you a list of common excuses women use to avoid sex.
While some might be legit, a lot are just polite ways of saying “Not tonight, buddy.”
If you’re hearing these lines regularly, it may be time for an honest chat about your relationship and sex life.
However, pressuring, blackmailing, or guilt-tripping a woman to sleep with you is never cool.
Respect her wishes, even if it stings your ego a bit. Showing you can take no for an answer might improve your chances next time.
Lastly, work on being more romantic and caring. Many women respond better to sexual advances when they feel emotionally connected to a man.
Recommended reading:
10 Things That Happen When You Don’t Have Sex For A Long Time
9 Easy Ways To Spice Up Your Sex Life