There’s plenty of advice out there about what to do to enhance your sex life, from communicating about your desires to trying new things in the bedroom.
Today, we’re flipping the script and sharing common mistakes to avoid before getting intimate with anyone.
Sex is more than just a physical act—it’s a moment of connection, vulnerability, and pleasure.
The minutes or hours leading up to intimacy can set the tone for the entire experience.
Yet many people unintentionally make choices beforehand that can leave them feeling uncomfortable, distracted, or less confident once things get going.
If you want to have the best possible experience with your lover, there are a few things you should never do before sex.
Here’s a list of what not to do right before getting intimate with someone:
1. Avoid eating a heavy meal or foods that cause gas
One of the biggest mistakes you can ever make before having sex is to eat plenty of food or consume substances that won’t digest properly.
A large meal can often lead to bloating, discomfort, and even nausea. Think about it: would you want to run a marathon right after Thanksgiving dinner? Probably not.
The same logic applies to sex. When your body is working hard to digest a large, heavy meal, blood flow is directed towards your digestive system instead of your erogenous zones.
This can lead to feelings of sluggishness, discomfort, and even indigestion that can completely spoil the mood.
Furthermore, certain foods like beans, broccoli, cabbage, and carbonated drinks are notorious for causing gas and bloating.
Experiencing stomach distress during intimacy is hardly the romantic scenario most people envision.
Instead of indulging in a heavy feast right before getting intimate, opt for a lighter meal earlier in the evening.
If you feel hungry closer to the moment, a small, easily digestible snack is a much better choice. Think a few berries, some yogurt, or a handful of nuts.
What if you’re going on a dinner date with your partner? Choose lighter, balanced meals and leave a comfortable gap between eating and getting intimate.
Foods like grilled chicken, fish, salad, or fruit are easier to digest and won’t leave you feeling weighed down all night.
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2. Don’t drink too much alcohol
A little bit of alcohol can certainly help some people relax and feel more uninhibited.
However, there’s a very fine line between loosening up and being overly intoxicated. Too much alcohol can have several negative effects on your sexual experience.
Firstly, it can significantly impair physical performance. For men, excessive alcohol can lead to difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection.
For women, it can reduce lubrication and sensitivity down there. Secondly, alcohol can dull your senses, making the physical sensations of sex less intense and enjoyable.
Finally, being heavily under the influence can hinder communication and lead to regrettable decisions.
While a glass of wine or a light cocktail might be okay for some, it’s crucial to know your limits and prioritize being present and in control during intimacy.
Sex is best when you’re present and engaged. If you choose to drink, set a limit before the night begins and pace yourself with water.
The goal is to enhance the mood, not sabotage the experience. Confidence, clear communication, and mutual enthusiasm are far more effective “aphrodisiacs” than any drink.
3. Don’t engage in rigorous exercise
While staying physically active is good for your overall health and can boost your sex drive over time, engaging in a strenuous workout right before getting intimate can have the opposite effect.
Rigorous exercise can leave you feeling physically exhausted, with your muscles tired and potentially even sore.
This kind of physical fatigue can definitely lower your desire and energy for sex.
Your body needs recovery time after hard exercise, and jumping straight from the gym to the bedroom can leave you with muscle cramps, reduced stamina, or discomfort.
Plus, unless you’re going to shower right after, lingering sweat can be repulsive to most people.
If you plan on being intimate with your partner, consider scheduling your workouts for earlier in the day or opting for a more relaxing activity like yoga, a gentle walk, or stretching in the hours leading up to it.
You want to approach intimacy feeling energized and focused, not sweaty and worn out.
4. Avoid using a new product for the first time
Excitement about trying new things in the bedroom is wonderful!
Exploring different lubricants, condoms with unique textures, or even sex toys can add a spark to your intimacy.
It might be tempting to try out a brand-new lotion, massage oil, lingerie, or intimate product before sex to impress your partner—but if your skin or body reacts badly, the mood could be ruined fast.
Allergic reactions, itching, burning, or rashes are not the kind of surprises you want during intimacy.
The moments leading directly up to sex are generally not the ideal time to experiment with something completely new for the first time because you don’t know how your body will react.
New lubricants can sometimes cause irritation or unpleasant sensations.
Condoms, while essential for protection, can occasionally fit differently or have materials that one partner might be sensitive to.
Even sex toys can have unforeseen issues if you haven’t familiarized yourself with them beforehand.
Imagine the mood being ruined by an unexpected rash, discomfort, or a toy that’s more complicated to use than you anticipated.
It’s always best to test new products on your own first, at least 2-3 days before using them during intimacy.
This allows you to identify any potential issues in private and ensures that when you introduce something new with your partner, it’s a positive and enjoyable experience for both of you.
5. Don’t shave sensitive areas with a new or dull razor
For many people, personal grooming is a part of feeling confident and comfortable before intimacy.
If shaving sensitive areas is part of your routine, that’s perfectly fine.
However, the type of razor you use and its condition can make a big difference in your comfort level.
Using a brand-new razor might seem like a good idea, but sometimes very sharp blades can increase the risk of nicks and cuts if you’re not used to them.
On the other hand, using a dull razor is almost guaranteed to cause irritation, razor bumps, and ingrown hairs.
Any of these issues can lead to significant discomfort during sex, making it difficult to relax and enjoy the experience.
The skin in your intimate areas is delicate, so it’s crucial to treat it with care.
Ideally, shave a few hours or even a day before you anticipate being intimate to allow any potential irritation to subside.
Always use a good quality razor that you’re familiar with, along with a lubricating shaving cream or gel, and moisturize afterwards.
Avoiding last-minute shaves with questionable tools will help you feel smoother and more comfortable when it’s time to get freaky.
6. Don’t obsess over your body image or appearance
One of the most important things you should never do before sex is to think negative thoughts about yourself.
It’s easy to get caught up in self-criticism, focusing on perceived flaws or imperfections in your body.
Thoughts like “Do I look okay?” or “They’re probably noticing this” can run through your mind and create significant anxiety.
Unfortunately, this kind of self-consciousness can ruin the romantic mood fast.
When your mind is preoccupied with worries about your appearance, it’s incredibly difficult to be present in the moment and truly bond with your partner.
Remember that your partner is with you because they are attracted to you, both inside and out.
Focusing on your insecurities only distracts you from enjoying the pleasure and connection you’re sharing.
Try to shift your focus from your perceived flaws to the sensations you’re experiencing and the intimacy you’re building with your partner.
When you’re self-conscious, you’re more likely to hold back physically and emotionally.
This makes it harder for you to fully participate and enjoy the experience. Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on feeling comfortable and confident in your own skin.
Body positivity isn’t about suddenly loving every single thing about your appearance; it’s about accepting yourself and allowing yourself to enjoy intimacy without the constant internal critique.
Remind yourself that vulnerability and genuine connection are far more attractive than any idealized image.
7. Avoid serious or stressful conversations
The moments leading up to intimacy should ideally be filled with positive anticipation, emotional connection, and a sense of relaxation.
Bringing up serious or stressful topics right before getting intimate can instantly shift the mood and create tension.
Avoid discussing finances, relationship problems, work stress, or family issues when you’re getting ready for some action in the bedroom.
It can dampen the romantic atmosphere and make it difficult for both of you to fully relax and be present.
These important conversations certainly need to happen in a healthy relationship, but timing is everything.
It might feel like a good idea to “clear the air” before getting intimate, but diving into heavy topics can raise stress levels and create unnecessary tension.
Even if you resolve the issue, the negative energy can linger. Sex is most satisfying when both partners feel safe, relaxed, and emotionally connected.
Stressful conversations activate your body’s “fight or flight” mode, which isn’t good for intimacy.
If something important needs to be discussed, choose a time when you both feel calm and have the mental and emotional space to engage constructively.
Trying to resolve a conflict or discuss a heavy issue right before sex can lead to distraction, anxiety, and a feeling of emotional disconnect, which is the opposite of what most people desire during intimacy.
Save the serious talks for another time and let the moments before sex be about building connection, affection, and anticipation.
Remember to keep the conversation light, affectionate, or playful to help you both relax and connect.
Conclusion
The moments before sex are just as important as the act itself.
What you do can influence how comfortable, confident, and connected you feel to your partner.
By skipping heavy meals, limiting alcohol, avoiding exhausting activities, and keeping the mood light, you give yourself the best chance of enjoying intimacy to the fullest.
Remember sex isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. When you’re relaxed, comfortable, and connected, everything else tends to fall into place naturally.
Learn to be mindful of doing things that can ruin the mood, and you will significantly increase your chances of a more enjoyable sexual experience.
Recommended reading:
5 Things You Should Never Do After Intimacy